Answer if you are honest.?

Question

What do you think of ex-convicts? I was recently released from prison after serving almost 11 years. I am now 29 years old. I studied alot (on my own, contrary to popular belief, prisons do not offer anything past GED) while I was inside and therefore, I am well-spoken. But, I find that when I have to tell others that I have spent time in prison for Assault with Intent to Commit Murder, they change real fast. Am I now to be blackballed by the very same society that felt I was ready to be released? Why are people so afraid of prisoners? We all come from the same places that you come from. Most people have done something that could have landed them in prison, so why would they treat those who got caught differently that those who did not? Any suggestions on how I can try to start over again. It is hard enough trying to readjust after so many years, what should I do?

Alright, alright. I did not mean that everyone has done something violent to get put in jail. I meant that with the plethora of laws that abound in our current society, there is a great likelyhood that most people have done something that could have placed them in jail. Drunk driving, threatening someone with a weapon, failing to pay child support, etc. Also, I do not tell everyone that I meet. I said "have to tell". And lastly, no one was physcalicaly injured as a result of my actions.

Answer 1

~~~ JD ,,, Most Respectfully,,,,What distinguishes you from the example of offenses you offered to compare yourself to others is twofold. Firstly, your crime, if successful, is considered to be The Ultimate. Secondly, you Acted Out your desire with your own Freewill. As long as "I" know that information and DON"T KNOW what's in your HEART,,, OR if you have an Anger Control Problem regardless of your Heart,,, then Simple Logic dictates to me that you are a Potential Threat to my Wellbeing,,, and possibly my life. It is YOU that has labeled yourself to Society by your Own Actions. For this you are held accountable. If you expect to be Redeemed by Society and Individuals then you must demonstrate your Character by your Actions, once again. By your Own Freewill you have Chosen a most difficult path. In Prison Parlance,,, You have "Talked Your Talk", now it is time to Walk It. I humbly suggest you build a Foundation based on living the concept of The Golden Rule, practice some Annonymous Altruism and you will find Peace with yourself and others. It all begins and ends from The Heart. Now is the time to accept this Wisdom and fulfill your Life's Purpose of being a Positive Force in the world and your community,,,No man is greater than he who is willing to help those less fortunate than himself. I would wish you Luck but you don't need it. Because you have reached out and asked for Guidance from your fellow man is an Indication that you are already on the correct path. I wish you well in your New Life,,, ~~ Namaste`

Answer 2

many people have done things that could land them in prison. Most have the sense not too follow through with it though. As far as "society deeming you ready for release" well that wasn't a vote by the people was it? It was a committee or judges ruling? That hardly makes society the culprit. Its a hardship that you will have to endure. Prison isn't the only punishment for breaking the law, its also living with what you did and how people are going to treat someone that would do something like that. Rise above it and try educating people. People fear what they do not understand. All they see once you tell them Assault with intend to commit Murder is someone that is out of control and may do it again. I'm glad to hear you have made yourself a better person then who you were back then but you still went over the line and have to live with the consequence that comes with it even after you are released. Good luck.

Answer 3

I figure if I landed myself in prison (which I have no intention of ever doing) when I got out I wouldn't bring it up - why do you have to tell others? I'd just start living my life from scratch. It's unfortunate that you made choices that ultimately landed you in there, I certainly hope you learned something from that. It wasn't society that decided on your release, it was the justice system, if society really had any say, I would guess you wouldn't have gotten out at all. I'm a strong believer in that you should suffer the proper consequences for committing crimes on your fellow man - the justice system doesn't see it the same way I do which is why I have big plans for my future, but that's a secret. People are afraid of prisoners because they got there for a reason, a reason that was harmful to someone else, would you not fear being hurt or killed or raped or whatever the person did for having gotten themselves to jail? You need to really sit down and learn to accept that you will not be viewed in good light with society because of that you did. It's all part of the consequences - it'll be there with you for life and there's no way around it. You are going to need to prove to the rest of society that you are not the same person you were when you went in and that will take time. I want to try and be encouraging but when it comes to criminals it's not exactly easy.

Answer 4

I don't know what you should do but yes, I find it hard to trust people I know have spent time in prison. I think many people do blackball ex convicts in one way or another. I know that if I found out someone I work with or go to school with etc, was an ex convict it might change my perception of them (right or wrong that is the truth).
We all do bad things but I have never been arressted and certainly would never have assaulted anyone with an intent to murder them. You are still trying to justify the behavior that landed you in prison it sounds to me like and that is not good.
Also, the recidivism rate is so high that I think many people believe an ex-convict will simply wind up back in jail sooner or later.
You wanted my honest answer to what I hope was an honest question (I always have my doubts on here) and that is it.
If your question was real and you have been recently released, good luck to you!

Answer 5

Be real. Don't keep it a secret but when you don't have to, don't tell right away. Let people get a feel for who you are before landing them on their butts.

The Lord has let me fall right through the cracks and experience the world from 'the other side'. While I was once almost afraid of the street people, I now understand and can be one of them.

The day was, I couldn't understand how a person could just live in an alley, now I do. I've seen it through their eyes.

Because of these life experiences, I see things in a whole different way but I do remember 'when'. So because of that, I also understand those who are still afraid or feel like some people are filthy-untouchable. I see both sides.

So it's a matter of translating one side to the other for better acceptance and understanding.

Don't blast people with too much information, too soon. I understand you have to report up front, when looking for a job. Paying your debt to society is a whole other matter from regaining your standing in society. Baby steps first.

It's a gruesome scenario but much needed; start at the bottom. That first job just might have to be with a ditch digger. Do it. Gain some new friends and show you are worthy of trust. Regaining trust is the big story. Let others see that someone, anyone can trust you, even if you have to mow lawns to get started.

This way, you can continually look for better work but do it while you still have some sort of job. It's better to tell people, "I'm an ex-con" but I'm proving myself. See? I'm working with so and so and he's pleased with my work. Ask him about me"

This way, you have someone else to vouch for you until you can reach that next plateau. Then just keep reaching higher, using the last links to society to vouch for you.

It's going to take time. I know 'time' is a nasty word. ha You will have to invest it or lose out on your opportunity. Don't let it get away from you. Invest in yourself.

In the meantime, go to church. What's it going to hurt you? Church doesn't need to know your past. Why should it? You're not going to hurt anybody.

To explain 'the other side'. They are afraid. Forgive them. They've heard all the horror stories about prison, they've seen all the stupid movies. Where else would they get their education about where you've been. They don't see a guy who beat the hell out of somebody for raping their girlfriend, they just see a guy who was labeled 'brutal'. Give 'em a break.

Life will come around but you can't rush it. Believe in yourself and invest what ever it takes. Regardless of how boring, grueling or how trapped you feel. It's a wound. Give it time to heal.

Answer 6

Gee, why wouldn't people be afraid of ex-cons? Especially ones that served time for assault with intent to commit murder?? And no, most people have not done something that could've landed them in prison, that's why most people have not spent time in prison. You will have a hard time adjusting to the real world, you've already learned this.

You did not explain why you tried to kill someone, but if you have anger issues, I'm sure prison did not help you. Try seeking therapy. If you are religious, find a church you like. Join a support group for ex-cons. Good luck!

Answer 7

It sucks, but when you commit a crime that lands you in prison, yes, people are going to Judge you. Especially when it's a violent crime as the one you describe. People are more apt to forgive if there were extenuating circumstances, but as you don't say how you ended up with this rap, it's hard to say if you were "pushed" there, or if you were just being violent to be violent. Honesty IS the best policy, you'll only look worse if someone finds out later, but maybe let them get to know you a bit first, so they can see the person you are now. It looks like you were young, so you are more likely to have changed. But personally, I'd find it hard to hang out with someone who has an intent to commit murder in their background. Doesn't make one feel safe to hang with someone like that. And, for the record, most people have NOT done something that will land them in prison, and there is a difference between a minor crime, and the major one you committed. Sorry.

Answer 8

First, I would argue with your point that most peolple have done something that could have landed them in prison. If you would say most broke the law (ex.: speeding) I would agree with you. But, you go to prison for assault, murder, theft, rape, etc. Most people have not done these things.
I applaud you for making the most of your time while in prison, and educating yourself. You served your time, and now you are free. That is why you were released.
The fact that you were convicted by society for Intent to Commit Murder tells others that at least in your past, you were very violent. This is something that you're going to have to deal with the rest of your life. Is it fair? I can't answer that. However, the fact is that YOU created the situation that you are in. Moving forward, all you can do is to make the best of your situation, just like you did for the past 11 years.
Good luck to you!

Answer 9

People like simplicity. It's much easier when everything is black and white. Felons are bad, non-felons are good. And since people watch so many sensationalist TV shows about escaped convicts going nuts and killing/raping people left and right, they assume it's a character trait, not a moment of bad judgment back when you were a kid. It's funny how this Christian country is so reluctant to forgive.

It may also speak to the inability of our prison system to actually help to reform inmates. We also get to see all the 20/20 and Dateline shows about our failed prision system and all the crazy inmates who form gangs and stab each other in the prison yard with sharpened toothbrushes.

People fear the unknown. But having a conviction for a violent crime is a hard fact that they can look to for judgment of your character. They assume, once you've done that once, you ARE the crime. That sucks, but there's no way you can get away from that unless you act like a good person and try to avoid mentioning it until they know you as a person first. Good luck

Answer 10

Hey,I did 7 flat in Texas.I know where you are coming from.Only I was locked up for a crime that never happened.Now I have to bear that proverbial cross.It isnt easy,but I have managed just fine and will continue to do so.What do I think of ex-convicts?It is strictly on an individual basis.Some rehabilitate-some dont.I can tell by their actions more than their words.And you are right.none of the prisons offer education past G.E.D. In Texas you can get into the "Wheels Of Learning" program to take courses like "Plant Maintenance" like I did.When I asked the instructor exactly what my certificate would tell a prospective employer he said "It will tell that employer that you have the ability to learn".Well excuse me,I graduated 4th out of 48 students taking college preparation courses!If THAT dont tell the fool I can LEARN then I dont need to mess with him or her!!!The best advise I can give anyone coming out of prison is pay 15 dollars to get an apprentice electricians license and find work as a helper and start learning the trade.The industry is screaming for qualified people.And it is very simple work...I am a Marine Electrician out of prison just over one year and I make $16.00/hr.Good luck Bro.