my mum left my dad when I was born as he abused her and was a drunk. I've never met him but he still asks my nan about us. Now, I need to get something from him - I need to get a passport under his nationality - to do this I need details from him and for him to sign a statement that I am his daughter, as he didn't sign the birth register.
has anyone got any ideas on the best approach?
2007-09-19 05:34:18 · 15 answers · asked by juology 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
thanks for all your answers, I think they've given me the confidence to find a way - I'll try a letter first, I've found where he lives and then go down a more legal route from there. Hopefully it won't be necessary and it may lead to something good :-)
2007-09-21 03:05:44 · update #1
Wow, that's tough situation. Are you 100% sure this person is your father? Maybe approach "nan" about talking to him about it? But at the same time can you work around it with out him if you've made it all these years with out him? I'm sure it will work out for the best. Good luck!
2007-09-19 05:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by kasey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is to contact your local embassy and ask their advice.You may be able to still get the passport without contacting your Father.
I also think maybe you could ask your Nan to help you and see if she can mediate between the two of you.
Perhaps the first thing is write a letter to your Father explaining that you need his assistance and would like to know if he will complete any forms that you send.Give the letter to your Nan to pass along for you and see what happens.
Im kinda getting a feeling from you that you actually want contact with him? If so there is nothing wrong in that and no one would judge you for wanting to meet your Father.
Also he did not abuse you and his actions were many years ago so perhaps he is a different person now?
As an adult you have every right to a passport in your Fathers nationality you have to decide though is it worth it? also consider it may prove to be difficult if your Father doesnt wish to have any contact with you.
2007-09-19 12:46:38 · answer #2 · answered by jambutty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
firstly,put what you have heard about your father out of your mind,it will cloud your judgment and you don't know that its 100% true ,always keep in mind that every storey has 2 sides,now how to contact your father,two ways come to mind,as there is a line of communication open between him and your nan you could explore that avenue,if that isnt possible then get as much detail as you can from family members and use the internet and go onto such sites like 192.com,or people finder.com and other such sites,bear in mind that as he does enquire about you then there is an interest but he may not know how you will react,be positive in your approach but above all else remember that its going just as hard for him,good luck..
2007-09-19 13:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by the devil wears camo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask. It could be as simple as that. Perhaps it might be a good time for a visit. Ask him to coffee or lunch. You didn't tell us where he lives, though. Bring all your documents you need signed with you. It's best to believe in the good in people unless they prove to YOU (not the stories you heard from your mom) that they are not worthy of your good opinion. There was probably a lot more going on than what appears on the surface (i.e. he beat your mom and was a drunk). I have a (odd) relationship with my father independant of my mother.
It can't hurt to ask him to lunch or a visit and just request that he sign the papers.
2007-09-19 12:41:31 · answer #4 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him strait up what you want. You obviously want nothing to di with him, but he can't deny he is still your father and if you need the paper signed just ask him. But don't pretend to call for any other reason. You don't want to open up that can of worms. If you really don't want to speak to him, ask your nan to do it for you.
2007-09-19 12:38:32 · answer #5 · answered by puredoller 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Will you have to go advance office they will let u know if you give you Father name that or go to the place you take the passport he may have address there where he leaves if steal life than they off course will tel you where is it.
2007-09-19 12:44:03 · answer #6 · answered by sajmir 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered writing a letter for him and ask your grand-mother to pass it on to him? You could let him know that you need his help for a passport and maybe you could sit with him, talk to him when he contacts you.
Best wishes
2007-09-21 09:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's rough. Same situation with me. But never needed him for anything, thankfully. Best thing might be to go through a solicitor.
2007-09-19 12:37:56 · answer #8 · answered by Hoolahoop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be straight and ask your nan for his contact number and take it from there. You are not at fault here.
2007-09-19 12:38:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you tryed to go to the hospital and get his number from the papers or go to the police and say its not an emegancy but i want to know how to contact my father i need to talk to him or what ever you are going to say i mean what ever works for you but good luck hope you find him
2007-09-19 12:39:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋