My mother in law is coming to stay with us for week and?

Question

I need word of support and encouragement from all of you.
Dont get me wrong, I have pretty good relationship with her...its just that I am 5.5 month pregnant and tired with two toddlers to take care of....she is coming in 5 hours but i havent put together my house yet and my fride is totally empty.

fride = fridge

For the past few hours I was able to summon some energy, thanks to your encouragement, and ran around the house like a crazy woman and cleaned it...it doesnt look perfect but way better...
now i still have some time to haul the kids to grocersy store.

Thanks everyone.

Answer 1

Start cleaning up now. And then perhaps see if she can watch the kids while you do your food shopping. I am sure she can understand that things are a bit overwhelming right now, with the pregnancy and the 2 toddlers. Where's your husband in all these? I would get his butt going and help out.

Answer 2

Your husband was wrong not to discuss this with you first. Someone with this condition may require more care than you or your husband anticipate. I can understand about not wanting her to move in. Your whole life will have to revolve around this individual. Has your husband thought of getting her a sitter or a nurse to stay with her, so you won't have to be the primary caregiver 24 hours a day? There are nursing homes that have a daycare type situation for days that you might need a break. How progressive is her illness? There will come a time when you will be unable to keep her safe from herself. What are your husband's plans then? You probably feel like the bad guy because this is your husband's mother. Ya'll need to sit down TOGETHER and make long range plans that will be best for you, your husband, and your mother in law. You have to show some compassion because this is his mother, but you shouldn't have to give up your life either. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

She's a mother, as you know, and has to have had some frazzled moments when her house wasn't perfect and there was shopping to be done.

I'd suggest getting the majority of the clutter hidden, and do a quick dust and vac.

Then pack up the kids and hit the grocery store. Have them deliver your groceries home, so it's a little less physically taxing.

For supper, order in a pizza or something. After the day you're about to have you don't need to cook.

GL and if you get any criticism from either her or your husband, remind them how it feels to be so pregnant and handling 2 toddlers. Remind them in MINUTE DETAIL and go on about every ache and pain, real or imagined ;P for as long as they can stand to hear it.

That's sure to either shut them up or better still, get them pitching in and giving you tomorrow with your feet up.

Take care of yourself before any chores. If it feels like it's all too much, say **** the mess and take a load off. Your pregnancy is more important than anything planned for the day.

Answer 4

I am totally with you, my mil is here from cross country. It is week 5 of a 6 week visit. I have 2 kids too. Don't worry about the house, I know that is a hard thing not to do, but save your energy for chasing the kids. You never know she might go grocery shopping for you, especially when she realizes that you need some help. (We all can use some from time to time). Just be straight up, tell her your sorry the house isn't as tidy as you usually have it, but chasing after kids when your pregnant can wear you thin. She'll understand even if she doesn't admit it to you.

Answer 5

well I feel for you. Is she the helpful type or is she the " lets see if you are taking care of my son type"? My mother-in-law is the second. She would criticize everything. Anyway, If you could start picking up a little. You don't have to deep clean, you don't have time anyway. The others had a good idea ask her to sit with the kids while you go shopping. It will get the job done and you will have a little alone time even though it's work. You can only do what you can do. No mater if your house was spotless and it was full of food that she liked if she is "that" kind of person nothing you do will please her. Don't let it get to you. You have your hands full. Good luck with everything

Answer 6

Since you are pregnant and have two toddlers, unless your M-i-l is the 'white glove inspection' type, I doubt she will care that you aren't 'ready' for her arrival with freshly baked cookies and tea. In fact, she may tell you to have a rest and take the two kids to the grocery store to shop. I've had 'horrible' M-i-ls, and the most wonderful M-i-l in the world (may she rest in peace) ... and even the worst of them knew that when they were in MY territory they had to do things my way ... and I am the same with my own daughter-in-laws. As long as you say you have a 'pretty good relationship' with your mother-in-law, everything should be FINE. Now, let the kids play, and you get an hour's rest, THEN straighten things up, and wait til she gets there to go shopping. Tell her you wanted her to go with you, because you want to get things she likes to eat, too. Just remember one thing ... a 'mess' doesn't look nearly as messy if you vacuum the floor. And give your m-i-l a hug for me ... my husband and I are going to her memorial service on Friday ... and yours is ALIVE. If you can appreciate that, and appreciate her, everything will be just fine.

Answer 7

First of all, remember that family comes first - YOUR family meaning your husband and children (in that order). Your young children need love, discipline and a regular schedule as much when Grandma comes as at any other time.

So, relax, be real, be yourself. You are not entertaining dignitaries; she is family, too. So, if the house is a little messy, don't worry about it. After she has arrived and you have some greeting time, ask her to help you pick up a bit and come with you and the kids to the grocery store. Grandparents want to be involved in their children's and grand-children's lives without being an intrusion.

:)

Answer 8

Is she coming to be a burden or to help out? Either way, good luck... And try not to worry about the house and the fridge. If she doesn't understand you're beat, inlaws truly are satan spawn.

Also, congratulations on being one of the very few people I've found on Y! Answers that seem to be honest, straightforward, and don't have an extra chromosome to spare.

And if you can make me not hate you, you can handle your mother in law.

Answer 9

Ask a neighbor, friend or family member to come by and lend you a hand with the cleaning, watching the kids or grocery shopping.

Other than that, if you have a good relationship with her, she should understand that you are pregnant with two small children already and can't be expected to be Martha Stuart right now.

Just do what you can and she will probably be too distracted by seeing her grandkids to worry about a bit of dust.

Oh, and one word -Fabreeze!
Quick fix!!! :)

Answer 10

Just do a little tidying up. Maybe u can get your kids to help. My lil girl (3 yrs) helps me by dusting and she washes the table for me....put on music and make it fun. As for groceries u could wait till she gets there then go to the grocery store..u could invite her to come along or if she dosnt want to ask if she can watch the kids for u while u go.....ask her if there is anything she would like u to pick up....if she goes with u u still get help with the kids and maybe she could help on picking out some item as well. Oh and have hubby help out a bit too in whatever.