We have friends that are totally for it and friend that are totally
against it.
What do you think about Adoption?
2007-09-19 03:49:07 · 17 answers · asked by Fuzzybutt 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
this is a VERY loaded decision. it should NOT be based on what others think. afterall, this is the way some people choose to grow their family. it's NONE of your friends' business if you adopt or not.
Adopting is NOT a selfless decision. i HATE it when others say that. i wanted to be a mom and my husband wanted to be a dad. we did not "save" our daughter. if we hadn't adopted her, another couple waiting would have. WE are the lucky ones. she is my world. and if her birthmother had decided to parent her, i think they would have been just fine. maybe less toys, but not less love.
adopting is A HUGE responsibility. The child comes from another family, and chances are, he or she will always be curious and driven to find them. this is something you NEED TO BE 100% COMFORTABLE WITH before adopting. i remember when i was not comfortable with this notion until i read some adoption books. for your child to feel whole, you need to be in a good place before you adopt. the idea of guilting your kids into not searching for or talking about their famliy of origin is TERRIBLE. NONE of us "own" our children; we are given the wonderful gift and responsibility of raising a human being. they are their own person.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do more research before beginning to adopt. your child will thank you for it. do this for your child, the one you will love for the rest of their lives. chances are, if you are looking to adopt, you want a child to love. wouldn't you want to be prepared for your child's struggles ahead of time? of course you would.
2007-09-19 04:28:02 · answer #1 · answered by x xxxxxxx 1 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I was adopted at birth.
I just don't understand how people could be against adoption. I honestly don't. What is so wrong about taking a child into your home to love and care for, especially when there is no one else (in the cases of orphange adoption)?
I'm 18 now. I was raised as well as my parents knew how. I'm (for the most part) happy and healthy. If you really want to take a child into your home and hearts, then do it! It's no one decision but your own! Don't let your friends be the naysayers who put you off the idea. They aren't the ones who'll be changing a zillion diapers and warming up midnight bottles- you will!!!
I think you're wonderful people for even considering adoption. I hope that you can come to a decision that you feel, in your hearts, is right. It's not an easy choice, and I wish you the best of luck!
2007-09-20 11:25:24 · answer #2 · answered by iluvnurd 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think it's wonderful!
My husband and I have one child, and we are planning on having one more child biologically, then we want to add to our family through adoption. We want to adopt a set of 2 or 3 siblings. We're open to special needs, to an extent. I have some experience with special needs, but not a lot, but I'm willing to learn.
I've always wanted a big family, but didn't want to bring so many kids into a world that has so many kids who already need good, loving parents. So adoption is the perfect way to blend our family. We'll have biological kids and 2 or 3 adopted kids. I can't wait!
Don't let your friends that are against it deter you. I suggest contacting your state and requesting information on home studies and the adoption process, and also contacting the Dave Thomas Foundation and getting their adoption information. It's very helpful.
You can also search for "kids for adoptiong in...." and insert your state instead of the .... and you should come up to your Department of Human Services office and it will give you some information on adoption.
Good luck, and I think you're doing a great thing by giving a child who needs a loving home, exactly what they need.
2007-09-20 00:09:40 · answer #3 · answered by E's Mommy 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
From personal knowledge adoption is one of the best things people can do. My sister and brother-in-law adopted my nephew and he's been a total joy to have around. My nephew now 3 has blended into my family so well that if not told you'd never know he's adopted. My sister and brother-in-law got my nephew as a foster child with the option to adopt when he was 5 months old, they already knew they wanted to adopt him but had to deal with the legal part of it so they fostered him first. Before he turned 1 he was legally adopted. As a matter of fact today is the exact date that he first came to live with them.
I now have started the process of becoming a foster with the option to adopt. I don know that I'm going to adopt but when you go through the Dept of Children and Family these are the steps you have to take.
Your friends that are against it will come around if you decide to do so. They have some reservations about it now but once that child is in your care they will come to love him or her just as much as you do.
2007-09-19 11:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
If you want to adopt a child then go for it. This is YOUR family you are talking about. Why on earth would you let friends dictate how you make your family?
I am an adopted child. If not for my adoptive parents who knows where I'd be.
Adoption is a great way to build your family. There are many children out there who need families. If you and your spouse are willing to love and care for a child, and want to do so thru adoption, that is awesome.
Mindi
2007-09-19 11:05:39 · answer #5 · answered by Willow 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Adoption is great. I have a 23 year old girl that was adopted and a 21 year old girl that is the product of our union of marriage. They are both great kids and we have never regretted adopting. There are many parentless kids that need loving, caring families, as well as many unwed mothers that want their children to grow up in this type of family. If you have the opportunity to give life or preserve life then you may be doing the world a great deed. If a child is aborted who knows if that child would grow up to be New Hitler, or an Albert Einstein. This is a decision that is to be made by you and your spouse not your friends. If they are your friends they will support you and your decision either way.
2007-09-19 20:06:37 · answer #6 · answered by Donald C 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Adoption is a very selfless and caring thing to do, and I think it is a wonderful choice. There are so many children in need of loving homes and who so need the guidance only a parent can provide. I hope you don't allow friends with negative attitudes to stop you from giving a child love and a chance at a happy, healthy life. It is a decision only you can make, and you will have to live with that choice. I think that if they are your friends they will support you regardless if they think it is the right thing for you to do. Good luck!
2007-09-19 10:57:12 · answer #7 · answered by Sugarcookie 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I do daycare for a 5 week old little girl that was adopted by my friends at birth, and they have a biological child and couldnt have any more children, they love this little girl and treat her so well. Its amazing, i personally think it would be tough to bond with her, BUT i have 5 little boys so its not like i couldnt have children. IF i wasnt able to have children i would have adopted, these children need love just as much as any child in this world, why not provide that to them if you are capable of doing so. Theres nothing wrong with that, adoption is a wonderful thing!
Mom of 5 boys
2007-09-19 10:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Really it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your family choices. You wouldn't ask them about whether or not you should have children if you didn't have to adopt. Adoption is a wonderful blessing for those who can't have children or for whatever reason feel it is a better choice for them. My husband's brother and his wife have 5 children and 3 of them have been adopted. Those children are all well loved and cared for and they are with the mom and dad they were meant to be with.
2007-09-19 11:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by wait and see 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I think it's a great idea and a personal choice.
No matter where the child comes from, you're accepting him or her into your home and your family.
It's a much more socially-concious decision than IVF or the like, in any case. Why spend thousands of dollars for the possibility of having a child with your genes, when there's already children that exist and have no homes?
No matter what your friends think, you have to make the decision that's right for you and your family. If you have any nieces/nephews, friends' kids, etc., think about the lesson you're teaching them about opening your arms to a stranger and giving them a loving home.
2007-09-19 13:19:30 · answer #10 · answered by renny 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋