Is it my imagination or is it true that the more successful a woman becomes the less attractive she is to men?

Question

This has been my most recent exper. One of my guy friends, who is kinda sweet on me, recently asked me why I would even need a man. Wow. I told him I need a soft place to land at the end of my day. And trust me it would be reciprocated. I want a partner. Of course even a strong woman needs love. My female friends even tell me most men will be afraid of me. Why? Do most men only want women they can control or bend? I am sad about this today. Maybe I just need to accept that it's just not my time or season. Maybe God has other plans for me. Today, this sucks. Feedback?

Answer 1

Most men are intimidated by strong women. Some men feel a certain satisfaction in dating someone with needs. He can feel like the big man helping out. People who ask why you need a man now that you are successful have a lot to learn about life. There is more to a woman and her needs than merely success. I own my own business. I am 5-3, blue eyes, slim build with blonde hair to my knees. I dress in Abercrombie, Hollister, etc. I look young for my age. I used to get depressed because I would see these dumpy looking women with these hot guys! I would ask myself what was wrong with me. I couldn't imagine it was because I was very independent. This went on for years. Finally, I told myself I had to change.....be more needy to make a man feel needed. It worked, but I attracted the men I didn't want.....the ones that felt I needed a father! Being independent I hated being with men like that. I felt I was doomed. I got on Match.com and met a hottie just my type! He loves independent women, has a Harley, a great job, his own home and is a total sweetheart who lets me be who I am. I never thought I would meet the perfect man for me, but I have. Try going on yahoo or Match. Good way to weed out the yuckies! Good Luck

Answer 2

I think that some men will assume that you can do better than them (meaning that you will reject them sooner or later) and will not try since they assume that you are out of their league. Men really loathe rejection. I mean men really fear and hate the idea of rejection with a passion. They might even be afraid that if you are more successful, or more wealthy than them, if you don't reject them outright, then you will hold it over them instead and make them feel like a failure, or otherwise disrespect them.

And many feminist articles in the popular culture have given men the idea that successful women do not want or need a man in her life, since "a woman needs a man like a fish need a bicycle" (saw that on a bumper sticker -- I think that it was a quote from Gloria Steinem).

If you are in a profession where you are very busy, many people will assume that you will not really have enough time for a family or a relationship, and will find someone with a more balanced work/life balance.

Also, many men believe that their only real role that is left for them in the family anymore is that of the provider -- since men feel that they have been marginalized and maligned by society -- so if you can provide more for yourself than he can, he assumes that he is useless to you.

There are ways to reassure someone who is feeling insecure about his value to you. What you really need to do, I suppose is to figure out what kind of relationship that you want to have, and find some way of communicating that to the guy that you are dating (not all at once, and not right away, least you sound desperate). Some guys will still leave, but in this case, rejection is your friend if people refuse to date you because they legitimately recognize that you two have different goals, rather than avoid you based on false assumptions about what they think that you want.

Answer 3

Nope, it's not your imagination, it happens. Unfortunately there's a lot of weak, shy and unconfident men on Earth.

We strong women need a very confident man, or else it's disaster. Weak men seem to thing that it's not very 'macho' to have a strong woman, because it makes them look bad. Only a strong intelligent man can realize this is not true. Behind a strong woman, there someone who needs love as much as the 'normal' women do.

Don't be sad about it. Feel proud, because we successful women only get the best.

Answer 4

I don't know if that is true, a lot of men look for strong independent women, I think you are OK, men aren't afraid of you, they may be a little insecure, if your career is better off then theirs, but that is their problem not yours, and you don't need an insecure man, you will meet the man of your dreams who respects you and loves you no matter what, and yes I think most men do want to control and bend weaker women, so you just stick to who you are, strong a secure.

Answer 5

I've heard that.

I don't know how true it is though.

I remember reading something about it too. There were a couple of Harvard Business School grads and they said that when they went out everything was cool until they told the guys they went to Harvard, then all of a sudden the guys lost interest.

However, for myself, an educated girl would be preferred to an uneducated one.

Answer 6

I’m sure there's somebody out there for you....you could always be some guy's sugar mama.....but only time will tell what the future holds for you...in the mean time be proud of being a very successful and independent woman (I would if I were you) and btw, you're someone rare to come across...it's not a bad thing, it's great!

Answer 7

Men are intimidated by anyone that they consider a threat to their dominancy. It's in their nature. Guys are always competing with each other. Your friend probably likes you, but he sees that you are successful. Guys want someone they can protect and look after, it's the whole male dominance thing. So, show him your weaker side every once in awhile, if he still can't except that, their are lots of other guys you there who will.

Answer 8

It is shown statistically that women who are educated and successful cannot have long lasting relationships OR have as much orgasms as dumb women. Why? I have no clue.

It is ashame that this is sorta true but I say live your life as to what you like. There will be someone out there for you. Don't think of yourself as a statistic; think of yourself as a great woman who has a lot to offer in the world :)

Answer 9

Here is the reason

See men is there not to control women but to mold them into the relationship

Its the same thing as women molds men to be a lover,husband,father and stuff like that

Women who are sucessfull are less likely to listen to their partners opinion because they are strong in the real world and wishes to have control

See in nature, everyone shapes us, our parents,friends,partners, so its best to let go a little of our control so that they can shape us to be in a relationship.

But i know what you mean, its not being affraid or scared of a sucessfull women but to know that she is willing to change herself as mush as the guys is willing to change for her

But in the modern world with all those feminist movement, a lot of guys tend to change partners because he is called as controlling when in actual fact he is shaping the women the way she will do to him,

Its easier today simply to call it quits with women instead of fighting with her over simple issue`s and be called a jerk

Not to worry, i know a lot of successfull women are a good wife and mother too,, so there is a lot of guys out there like that, dont worry , and you dont have to suck up, just be urself and he will come, just open yourself a little

Answer 10

SOME men. And do you want that kind of a man?

Actually, your guy friend might just have wanted reassurance that you might want somebody like him, and was hinting about it in a roundabout way. If you told him the truth about how you feel, you did exactly the right thing.