He is moving in with me and she is trying to make him feel guilty by telling him if he chooses me he is ruining his family, accusing him of lying, telling him he can come back home but he has to never see or speak to me again, telling him she hates him and I will never be welcome in her home. I want to get along with her but she is making it next to impossible. He told her he loves me and she will just have to get over it.
2007-09-19 02:46:16 · 7 answers · asked by foxgurl77 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i was watching dr phil about this.....just ignore that *****.you guys are happy thats all that matters.theres no way u can make her happy lol focus on making you and him happy.
2007-09-19 02:59:25 · answer #1 · answered by Lilshorty69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have some compassion, there may come a time when you are in the same boat with your son. As difficult as this is for her, your b/f is a grown up and can do what he wants. Its really hard for mom's to deal with that if they are not ready. What did he lie about? About moving in? He needs to be mature enough to apologize for any misunderstanding he might have cause and tell her that he loves her.
If you are a smart girl, you will never compete with her. He's already done the right thing for you by moving in, and choosing you. After the flurry has died down alittle, make a nice dinner and invite his mother (or parents), so that she can see that her son is being taken care of.
If you are kind and patient with her, then you will gain the knowledge of how to handle her if this relationship leads to marriage. This could be your MIL for the rest of her life, and you don't want to do fighting all the way.
Don't let her bully you into reacting, keep a firm grip on your emotions and if she becomes abusive or nasty simply turn the other cheek and walk away. She doesn't hate you, or her son, she hates the fact that her little boy is now a man and she feels useless. Its normal, she'll get over it if you and your b/f are kind. Remember love is unconditional, and that goes her way too. Good luck and congrats on your new life. Have lots of fun!
2007-09-19 10:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does she have a specific quarrel with you or is she just upset that her little boy is growing up? If anything happened between you and her, try to fix it. Apologize for whatever might have happened and tell her you want her son to be happy just like she does. If nothing specific happened and she feels you're "that woman" who is ruining her son, she'll just have to get over it.
Depending on the nature of their relationship, it's often hard for mothers to let go of their kids. If she's a single parent and/or he's her oldest or only child, she's going to have some issues and she'll need to adjust. Think about what might be causing her attitude toward you. If it's fixable do what you can to soften things; if it's only her need to adjust, leave it alone. She'll have to come around eventually.
Depending on how severe her attitude really is, you may want to consider inviting her over for dinner sometime so she can see that you're both happy together and that her son is not being ruined or abused by you in any way. It will also help her to still feel included in her son's life. He's old enough to move out of his parents house so he's old enough to make his own decisions. This is her issue and if your boyfriend is happy about the move, he needs to follow his heart.
Having said all that, living together comes with its own issues. You'll be with each other practically 24/7 and you'll get to know things about each other that you don't already know. There will be an adjustment period. You'll have arguments and disagreements and you'll each need to talk to a neutral party to get some clarity on your own feelings. I suggest you and your boyfriend make a pact up front that when these times occur, he choose someone other than his mother to talk to. That will only give her fuel to continue working on his emotions and she'll take delight in telling him "I told you so". Best of luck to you both. Hopefully she'll come around when she sees how happy he is.
2007-09-19 10:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you said anything to the mother to make her dislike you. if not maybe she feel like her and her son isn't close anymore since he is with you, you have to give it some time don't keep him from his mother.
2007-09-19 10:00:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well there nothing you can do
if he choice you, there no need to worry
you shouldn't get involve in this, this is between the two of them
2007-09-19 10:07:04 · answer #5 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is jealous, it seems.
i'd gather my dignity, act like a lady and IGNORE her.
maybe she will come around sometime, but i doubt it.
she seems like a whack job.
2007-09-19 09:57:54 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
it seems as if she doesn't want to give him up.. but just stay strong!
2007-09-19 10:00:00 · answer #7 · answered by Danni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋