i think he might still have feelings for his ex. one night we somehow started talking about his ex that cheated on him, how she really hurt him. then he just started tearing up as we were talking about about her cheating on him. i confronted him and asked him if he still had feelings for her at all. he said no, the only kind of feelings he has towards her was hatred and between 1 & 100, he probably cares about her half of one. i call him up later that day. he went on talking about her again! i got silent on the phone and he asked me why i wasn't saying anything. then i started crying on the phone because all the depressing talk about his ex put a toll on me. he kept asking me what was wrong but i wouldn't say anything. i could hear him crying too. he started saying that he felt like he poisoned our relationship with the past. he said that i was the only happy thing in his life and he goes and messes it up and that i mean the world to him. could he still have feelings for his ex thoug
2007-09-19 02:36:36 · 21 answers · asked by ♥ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It may be that he has some feelings for her. It can only be expected if it was a long term relationship. But it sounds like he cares more for you currently. Any residual affection for an Ex sounds like it was seriously tainted by her treatment of it. Any woman will tell you they are sometimes brought to tears thinking about a past man who has done her wrong. why would that be any different for a man. If you opened yourself up to someone and they ripped you apart makes it hard to trust anyone in the future. He seems to have taken that chance for you. I would just let him know that you are there to support him and in time he will be able to let go of that hurt.
You can only give it time. And understand that this is HURT not love that keeps bringing that Ex up. If this was recent is Will take some time to die down in his heart as well as his mind. If you still are not convinced then ask him to try once in a while to sit with you and tell you a little bit at a time about what he is feeling, and what the two of you can do to help him let go.
He does sound like you are more important to him than most things in his life and if this is true then he may be willing to let you in a bit more but do not push as it may bring up the old feelings and cause him to close up on you.
Be patient and good luck!
2007-09-19 06:01:39 · answer #1 · answered by Bella Noir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should take a good look at what you and she do together. If you don't have any free time to just hang out and enjoy yourselves, take this as an opportunity to make that happen. This is a situation that is very touchy ... if you talk to her about it, it could push her further Away. Show her with your actions that you love her and you are who she fell in love with. Don't be too clingy, or suspicious ... those both push females away in these scenarios. Invite her to go out to whatever activities you have enjoyed in the past, or see if there are other fun things you have not done together that she would enjoy. I suppose the point I am trying to make is that if you can remain confident and a great husband, while not stifling her, you may be able to bring this around to a happy and content place for both of you. there was a time in my life that my husband could have kept my heart, but he was so afraid that someone else already had it, so he freaked out and acted like such an a** that I lost complete faith in us. When someone from the past comes up and seems to be all that, it does not mean a woman cannot choose to stay in her current life ... happily. The thing is, the current life better be more than the "possibility" the past could offer ... I hope that makes sense. Best wishes to you, I really hope things turn out for the two of you :)
2016-05-18 04:31:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you need to give your man some space to recover. The fact that his ex cheated on him suggests that the relationship did not end amicably but you should not assume that your man still loves her. Sure he still cares for her, but what's wrong with that? Don't you care for your ex too? No matter how much we say we have forgotten or hate our ex, we still care for them to a certain degree and i firmly believe that your guy is entitled to having these feelings as much as anyone else. I understand that it may be hard on you to hear him talk about his ex, but let him vent when he has to, that's one of the responsibilities of the other half. You have to lend him your shoulder to lean on, your ear to listen, a tissue for his tears and give him your heart when he gives you his. What he has is more memories that feelings and i personally feel you should not jump to conclusions.
He loves you more than anyone else, his ex is just his past, but you're his now and his future. Don't let the past ruin the future for the both of you.
All the best in your relationship.
2007-09-19 02:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by crofton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, he has feelings for his ex. I'm sure they'll diminish in time. Do yourself a huge favor and do not stress about it. I hope whatever he had to say about her is out of his system and he doesn't upset you anymore. In the meantime, try being happy. This is the kind of thing that if it's taken too seriously it can ruin a relationship.
Also, the opposite of love is indifference, not hatred.
2007-09-19 02:43:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lori E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in a HORRIBLE 12 year relationship that ended BAD... I swear that I hate her for what she did to me and how she treated me and our children. Deep down the feelings are still there and I have moved on... I have found love and have a healthy relationship NOW. As time passes the feelings go away but it's just a loss... kinda like having someone you love die... except this one is still alive and you can't talk to them anymore.
My advice is that he will eventually "get over her" but I am afraid for you that he is only trying to replace her with you.
Move on and find someone that loves you for who you are and NOT because they are trying to replace what they MISS.
Called a rebound relationship
2007-09-19 02:53:55 · answer #5 · answered by itlnstln_75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO he doesn't have feelings for her still, but the pain she caused him left deep emotional scars and he trust you enough to let you in and let you see his vulnerable side. Some guys need to talk about their hurt to get over it and he must love you quite alot to open up like that to you. I know it's hard to hear about exes, but she is a part of his history, wether you like it or not. To be part of his future, support him and help him get over it, or you too will be part of his past hon. Good luck and remember, deep inside every man is just a little boy that needs nurturing ;)
2007-09-19 02:51:42 · answer #6 · answered by brishaalden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly... in my opinion... I think that hes just not over the fact that his ex girlfriend did that to him, and maybe he's expressing himself to you because he wouldn't like the same thing to happen again with your relationship now.... I truly believe that if he's telling you that he loves you and saying you're the best thing for him that he means it. If it bothers you, i recommend that you ask him to please stop talking about her. Let him know the past is the past, and assure him that everyone is not the same and you will not do what she did to him. Good luck!
2007-09-19 02:58:29 · answer #7 · answered by N3N@ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably want to hear that you will never cheat on him. Try to have some fun go together to museum, or movie that you can talk about something else. Go to swim together hug him kiss him, men was hurt, show him some love and appreciation.
2007-09-19 02:45:35 · answer #8 · answered by lbelfer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have love feelings for her. He's just re-visiting his hurting period when she hurt him. It's part of him getting over that relationship. He wants you to know that he has been hurt badly before, and is expressing that he might be afraid of it happening again. Even if you've given him no reason, he's just a little insecure. Don't worry!
2007-09-19 02:41:46 · answer #9 · answered by Andrew K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like yes he does still have feelings and unresolved issues with the ex. You show emotions when you care if he was over it he wouldn't still be crying and venting.
2007-09-19 02:51:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋