My question is about your significant other and speaking to ex's.
I am a rather jealous girl and I believe that ex's shouldn't speak unless if they have a child together, which in my case, I have a son but I rarely speak to his father versus my current boyfriend who still speaks to most of his ex girlfriend including his two recent. One which he lived with and 2nd his most recent which he broke up with 2 weeks ago.
Now it has been an on off thing with him and I because he broke up with me to be with this other girl but broke up with her to be with me and this is why I can't help but feel uneasy that they talk on the phone still.
Is it just me or does anyone else think that's it's pointless to talk to ex's because the past is the past?
He's a has a very flirtatious personality and has a street rep of being a playa but all I can do is believe him...but I don't know because I don't trust people either way, in fact accusations is what led me and my baby's dad to break up...wat do u think?
2007-09-19 02:06:57 · 14 answers · asked by brat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We've been together 2 months but it has been an on off thing...but now were together for sure.
His most recent ex has a myspace an I wanna ask her where they stand so bad at times because she'll have no reason to lie to me...but idk...he's been introducing me to all his family...so I take it were more serious...but I'm not all up into the situation like you think. Simply because I do have a right mind and am more concerned about my son and our future rather than my dating status...I was just looking for guidence...
2007-09-19 02:32:17 · update #1
The thing about my son's father is...he refuses to speak to me because I have a new boyfriend.
He has been with his new girlfriend for 2 months as well but he decides to be hiprocritical when it comes to me having a new lover...maybe he is not over me, I don't know, but I've just decided to give him his space...he knows I want to be his friend and nothing more, so when he's ready he can come talk to me...but if we need to talk, I can always call him or any of his family...so there's no worry there.
2007-09-19 02:39:13 · update #2
Every situation is different. Based on the information you provided, it sounds like your boyfriend will move from woman to woman and back again at the drop of a dime. I would not see him any more.
2007-09-19 02:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should just cut your ties with him. I believe that it is OK to speak to your exes...I speak to most of mine and there is nothing more than friendship there. BUT only after two weeks? There needs to be a little healing time after a break-up before moving on. There should be some emotional attachment when dating and when you sever your ties the feelings don't go away in a week. I would recommend a little space between the two of you for a while. It sounds like you both already have a lot going on with kids and a full life. Take some time to be by yourself and decide what is important to you in a relationship and then go for it. You don't have to be with anyone to prove you are a great woman and be sucessful at being a single mom. Eventually you will give the aura be being the right catch to the right man!
2007-09-19 09:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you on this one, provididng there are no children involved, I don't think you should stay in contact with an ex because otherwise I don't see how you move on from it, the only time I stayed in contact with an ex is because i really still wanted to be with him!! and all it did was to prolongue the heartache. I am not usually a jealous person but if I was in your current situation I would feel uneasy, also you should make more of an effort and and try to maintain some lines of communication with your sons father for the sake of your son, and also your current boyfriend may then get an idea as to how you are feeling. hope this helps you.
2007-09-19 09:32:57 · answer #3 · answered by clair p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi....
well, you have only been seeing him for two weeks, so it isn't like you two have a committment at all.... and if he was in a long-term relationship which just ended two weeks ago, hon, he has NOTHING to give you emotionally...
people need to take time OUT to grieve and readjust to life after a relationship ends... going from one person to the next to form relationships isn't at all healthy.
i had a boyfriend who used to talk to his ex girlfriennds, and it didn't really bother me. i am not a jealous person and i see no good in being jealous because it's destructive.
some people remain on good terms after a break up and others don't. just because two people can't get along in a relationship, doesn't mean they can't remain civilized toward each other. if they have things on common, well, i suppose it's ok... if it's not an every day thing.
your guy's "point" in talking to the recent ex girlfriend might be that he's still interested in her? i'm not sure.
your relationship is only two weeks old... you really can't expect him to cut off all ties and friendships, since you don't even know each other.
it takes at LEAST a year (sometimes more) to really get to know another person.... so give it time.
and if you can't accept his behaviors, he's probably not the one for you.
if you are considering working on your jealousy issues, you can do a yahoo search on DEALING WITH JEALOUSY or JEALOUSY SELF-HELP. lots of free information on the internet for good advice.... i found a couple of articles and posted them below
take care too!
2007-09-19 09:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to be harsh but his sounds like your issue, not his. I'm a girl and i have wonderful friendships with all three of my serious ex-boyfriends. There's never a question of us getting back together because i know (and they know) that we broke up for a reason. If it really bothers you, and it sounds like it does, talk to him about it but don't get defensive. Just very calmly tell him it bothers you and why. Don't ask for ultimatums or for him to stop talking to them. In the end all you can do is improve the trust between the two of you. Also, if it still bothers you, meet the ex's if you get a chance. They'll seem less threatening if you befriend them!
2007-09-19 09:17:38 · answer #5 · answered by skycat119 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he just broke up with this girl 2 weeks ago, why are you even with him? Plus you have a son. If I was you, I would get away from this man until he grows up. Obviously he moves on very fast, and is unpredictable when it comes to stability, and you dont need that around your son. You shouldnt have people coming in and out of his life. If he has a rep for being a 'playa' obviously there is a reason why, most likely because HE IS....
2007-09-19 09:14:58 · answer #6 · answered by MayMay 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's different for everyone depending on who they are. If you're strong, you won't succumb to temptation & stay true to the one you're with. If you're not strong, it's trouble all the way. Just cos one person can stay friends with their ex & still remain faithful to their current significant other doesn't mean that will be the way the card falls. It all boils down to strength of character.
Most folks will say don't stay in touch with an ex cos that spells trouble. Cos most people will succumb to temptation given the chance. Not everyone has enough of that character strength - look at the divorce rates these days. It's an individualistic world. People nowadays put themselves & what they desire first.
2007-09-19 09:24:12 · answer #7 · answered by Bugsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you don't trust him and that he can't be trusted. Bottom line is, without trust, there can be no relationship. You don't have to be stuck with some guy who is going to treat you like crap. Have self respect. You are a good person who doesn't deserve this. You can do better. If you heard that he is a player, then you already know that he is... If you know and continue to be with him, you only have yourself to blame when you find out that he is cheating. You know he is creeping with his last 2 exes if he is talking to them like everyday. The last thing you want to do is get knocked up by a guy who is going to have kids all over the state before long...
2007-09-19 09:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by bonstermonster20 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question, each situation is different, but remaining friends with Ex's can work in many cases. However, based on your statements above, it sounds like your boyfriend wants his cake and eat it too. While I don't propose you listen to rumors about his "playa" status, he has definitely shown a proven track record of teetering between you and another girl. My advice, go find someone that will want to be with YOU only regardless of his relationship with his ex's.
2007-09-19 09:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by celticdiablo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should draw the line. It's not for him to choose but you to make a decision. You staying in touch with your son's father is more acceptable because of your son. But him staying in touch with his ex's is another question. Staying in touch with his other ex's will only create a problem in your relationship. What are his reasons to stay in touch with them? I don't see any except that they are not over yet.
2007-09-19 09:31:44 · answer #10 · answered by amira 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋