Hello,
today my boyfriend told me that he lied to me. Two nights ago I asked him for like the 100th time if he would get turned on by porn. I know he doesnt watch it but I still wanted to know and he told me no. Today he confessed that he didnt really know and that he is attracted to other women especially some parts of their body. I just cant deal with him lieing to me all over again and I dont know if I can trust him. I want him to get hot only for me and especially I dont want him lieing. I dont know if I should drop him or not. I guess Im scared of being without him... any help or opinions would be appreciated... thanks
2007-09-19 02:01:38 · 9 answers · asked by chinoananas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think u should give him a chance
2007-09-19 02:10:27 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would answer these questions separately and then decide if you should dump him or not.
1) If he does watch porn, does that mean he is not sexually attracted to me? (The answer is probably no)
2) If he lies to you about watching porn, does that mean he is a liar in general and therefore not trustworthy?
3) From a value perspective will you date someone who openly watches porn?
Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that the other person will stop noticing other women. And I suspect that if a cute guy crossed your path today, you would take notice of him.
So it really comes down to trust and how strong your relationship is.
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2007-09-19 09:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anime Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so shallow! Men are visual creatures so we get turned on by sexual images unlike the typical women who are emotional creatures. As my wife says....you can get your appetite anywhere you want as long as you come home to eat. You want him to stop lying yet when he tells you the truth you get upset so what do you think he'll do. A man will say whatever it takes to avoid upsetting their spouse. If you want the truth, which it seems you really don't, then you have to work through whatever the truth is with him. Why not join him during a lovemaking session while watching a porn video and make it a shared experience. Sounds like a maturity issue to me.
2007-09-19 09:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound really insecure. He'll always be attracted to other women, it's only natural, but if he doesn't try to be with anyone else, then it's only a problem in your own mind. You will never find anyone who only gets hot for you. Stop asking him leading questions and saying he is lying to you, he's not, he just doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth because he knows how insecure you are.
2007-09-19 09:13:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of being male is being attracted to members of the opposite sex - so your boyfriend cant be blamed for that. Its only when a person acts on it that it would be wrong. I think you put him in an unreasonable position when you asked him if he got turned on by porn - of course he does, he wouldnt be normal if he didnt - but if he answered yes you would have blamed him - and if he answered no you blame him again.
2007-09-19 09:12:06 · answer #5 · answered by pete the pirate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want alot don't you? Sorry, it just doesn't work that way.
Guys like porn, get over it. It's the same as you going to the mall and buying shoes that "You just love and can't live without because they're perfect for that outfit."
And yes, he does watch it, behind your back, because you will not allow him to be open about what he likes. Keep making him hide who he is and what he likes, and he will find a girl who doesn't.
You sound too immature to be in a serious relationship. Your expectations are unrealistic and the fact that you are upset over something as stupid as him trying to please you by telling you what you want to hear.
2007-09-19 09:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, i don't watch porn out of principle, but still does that really qualify? You would need to have brainwashed him to make him not like something, guys are guys we can get turned on by the littlest things. I feel like you need to take a step back, i mean its not like he was watching it and i think he was probably just ashamed or nervous to admit it. He told you in the end...
2007-09-19 09:08:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey,
To be honest, everyone would like their partner only to get 'hot' for them....but reality is thats not the case :( if only it were! It would depend on how much you felt for your bf. You could offer to share the thoughts he has with your thoughts - revealing those thoughts is something very intimate - he is probably protecting himself by telling you lies.
Think it over and see how you feel in a while......
2007-09-19 09:08:48 · answer #8 · answered by extremely_confused 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
for me, honesty is one of the basic foundations of a relationship. if he really loves you, he needs to be honest with you. it doesnt mean that if your bf watches porn, he doesnt want you anymore... but if that makes you uncomfortable, you can tell him how you feel and try to ask him to quit... but most likely, he wont... so try to compromise... maybe he can watch porn when youre not there... but when its time for you to get intimate, he must give you his all and satisfy you... :) good luck
2007-09-19 09:19:53 · answer #9 · answered by brazenlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋