Tips required! How can i learn to say no politely?

Question

I can not say no to people as i don`t wish to hurt anyone.
I agree to go places even if i don`t really want to.
when stopped in town and asked if i will changed to cable or change gas supplier i can`t get away. My husband goes mad with me about it. I sign up then have to cancel. I am sick of myself as i am old enough to know better.

Answer 1

This is a problem that a lot of women have. We are taught that we have to be nice and compliant and that if we are not, then we are bad. Men are taught that it's okay to stand up for themselves, but if women do it, then we're, well, a bad word that I'm not going to repeat here.

The truth of the matter is that, like all people everywhere, you have the right to say NO. It's a skill I had to learn as I got older and was in charge of my own household. If someone invites you and you don't want to go, say, "I'm afraid I just can't make it this time." And don't back down. If someone asks you to change to cable or change your gas supplier, you can say, "I'm sorry, but I'm quite satisfied with what I have now." or "My husband is the one that makes these decisions for our household." And if they keep on badgering you, either hang up the phone or turn and walk away. The conversation is over. Sometimes, there really is no way to remain polite with people who utilize high pressure sales techniques.

I've been where you are before. I once signed up with a long distance provider when I didn't need one. The man would not take no for an answer and there was no way I could back out politely. I cancelled it later on and it was so much aggravation that I told the customer service rep, "I wish I had just hung up on that guy!" And now, that's what I do when they won't take no for an answer. They care nothing about what you want and do not hesitate to take advantage of your good will. Why should there be the need to protect them from feeling bad? I say, save those sentiments for people who deserve them.

Answer 2

1st. I say: "No thank you" politely.
Then if someone keeps on about it-
2nd. I say: "NO THANK YOU" a bit sterner.
3rd. I say: "What part of "NO" did you not understand?"
4th. If all of the above fails, just turn around & walk away.
To get real good at it, practice with your husband. Set up a class, of sorts, with him & have him pretend to be a sales person etc. You might find out that you have to reach down inside you to get a bit of "Mad" going to do this to start with, but after awhile it gets easier.
I do know where you are coming from on this, for I too, was in your shoes for several years.
I just learned that I have to come first. Meaning: If I don't take care of myself first & get it in shape etc. (mentally or physically) how can I help others?
Have a great day & just go for it.
By the way, I am a 62 yr. old female who hikes on the Appalachian trail (alone).

Answer 3

If someone asks you to go somewhere that you don't want to go, just simply say no thankyou, I have other plans. When approached by someone trying to get you to change cable or anything else, just say no, I'm happy with what I have and then walk away very quickly. You won't hurt their feelings, their professionals and they're used to it. Good luck. I have to go put a stop payment on a check because I ordered magazines from a very personable young man yesterday.

Answer 4

Since you are taken off-guard by these people and want to please them, try the following:

- Take a few moments to reflect. Are you really offending anyone by saying 'no'?
Is it not true that these people take advantage of your kindness to sell you things?
Is that not very, very rude of them?

- Practise a role-play with your husband. He will try to sell you something. You will practise 101 ways to say 'no'.

- Last tip: Don't defend your 'no'. Ever. If you give reasons for your 'no', the other party will find arguments around it, don't they? So don't give them the advantage, and don't put yourself at a disadvantage by trying to come up with excuses.
Instead, ignore every single word they say and take joy in saying the word 'no' in various tones whilst ignoring them.
Keep it up untill they give up.

Remember: They only care about your money. It's up to you to decide to give it to them.

Answer 5

Everyone hears no from someone so it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. You need to put ur own needs first. Stop and think for a moment about what u really want before you respond

Answer 6

"No, I already have plans," "No, I already have a cable provider," etc.

Or the easiest one (and the one I use the most): "I'll have to check with my husband and get back to you later." If you say the decision is up to someone else then you don't get the blame for saying no!

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

That's bad. You need to be grow up and behave like a responsible adult by saying no. If you continue doing it, your husband will have no respect left for you. When someone approaches you to commit to something, tell them you need to discuss it with your husband. Then discuss it with him. If he says no, tell them your husband says no. It's okay to push the blame/responsibility to your husband. That way you won't get trapped into committing.

Answer 8

Learn how to say "no" politely. Nobody will kill you for baring your mind out. Good luck.

Answer 9

just tell them that your husband make those decisions or that the two of you have an agreement to never make that kind of decision w/o the other etc...

Answer 10

i bet ur husband looooved how u wouldnt say NO when u were dating him, and now he wants to go mad about it, i guess he didnt see the down side of a girl who cant say no at the time