problem with my husband?

Question

My husband knows that his family loves him only because he is earning well and giving them money always. He had done a lot before marriage. But after marriage due to my pressure he is spending less on them. But he has really a bad impression on me. He says that they expect from him and they are right in their situation. so i should do for them. My brother in law is not doing anything and always asking money form my mother. As my MIL and FIL are staying with them so they always takes my BIL side and force my hubby to send money. My hubby does for ourself as well. They always tries to keep my husband in their hand. And my husband treats them as they all are his life although he knows that they only want money from him. He always takes his family side if anything happens and blames me. He says that i will do everything for them what they are asking. If you don't agree with me then i will do keeping you hide. i was thinking that as time passes he will be distracted form them but i am wrong

He is thinking more and more about them and hurting me.

Answer 1

let him do how much he wants to do for them when slowly slowly he will understand that he is hurting u than he will automatically come to u and say sorry for what he has done so let him do whatever he wants to do if u will try to stop him and show him that ur really bthered and u dont like what he is doing than he will continue that so btter not tell him and let him do whatever he wants to do soon he will understand his mistake so from today onwards just dont pay attention to what he is doing show as if ur not bothered about anything than he will realize his mistake ALL THE BEST

Answer 2

This could easily be a "cultural" thing here --- Many people in the world are literally RAISED with the center of focus on the family unit being an --- "us against the world" thing -- and engrained into the thinkiing that it is each of the children's RESPONSIBILITY to contribute anything and everything asked OF them by parents and even, in some cases, their siblings !!
If this is the case here -- you are fighting an unwinable situation !! For, THEY will ALWAYS win --- there has been simply -- too many years of "training" and too many views on life "chipped in granite" --- for you to have much luck in breaking "the pattern" !!
This is something that you should have been aware of BEFORE you got into this marriage and locked yourself TO the situation !!
And, as far as I can see in this matter -- your choices are fairly grim --- you either--- put up with and suffer under this circumstance -- or you find a way OUT !!!

Answer 3

You are his first priorty and he must be doing every thing for you as well but just think that they are his parents and they must have did so much for him if he is doing well then its not because of you its because of his parents so they are his responsibility but as far as his brother is concern then you have to explain your husband that if he will always fulfill the demands of his brother then he will not do any thing in his life so like this you can try to convince your hubby, I know I am facing the same problems but I have explain my wife about my priorties

Answer 4

How old is your marriege?I think you judged a little early.How do you know your husband thinks that his family wants him just for money?If he takes their side in arguments so I don't think if he thinks like it.
You know anyway,there're some people in everyone's life that if you talk bad about them to him,you can not make him agree with you but you just appear bad in his mind.Imagine if someone talks bad about sb u love!!will you ever agree him?Or it just make you think obsessive about the matter.
Anyway try to know how he thinks about this thing in another way.and if u got that he thinks like you,you should change his way not in straight way but with some deplomacy.Think more and imagine yourself in their situation when you want to get their feeling.

Answer 5

what hes doing is taking from his family and giving to them he is wrong when you marry you are to be one and together not his family. i suggest he needs to grow up and take a look at what hes doing and change. he needs to get a grip and do for himself and his family not his mom and their family that has long past show him this hes wrong.

Answer 6

I'd have my divorce attorney "force" money from him too....from his back pocket into mine.