I've been with my girlfriend for around a year now, and although she is pretty and has a great personality, i dont feel it will work out in the long term. We just want different things in life and i can see it being a problem in the future.
Recently shes been telling me how she wants to be with me forever... and how she cant imagine being with another man. This has got me thinking... i should really break up with her before she starts getting too serious.
The problem is i know it will mess up her emotions, i dont really want to hurt her. I've been honest with her in the past, telling her how we are just two very different people, but she always says its a good thing because life would be boring if we were all the same.
Its not like i've been seeing any other girls or find other girls more attractive... its just i cant see it working out in the long term.
What should i do or what do you suggest i do?
2007-09-18 22:43:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to set a date with her in a place where there you two would be alone, or at least, there would not too many people. Try to be as casual as possible and politely break the news to her. Point out the real reason and tell her that the decision would benefit both of you. Moreover, explain to her that it would be worse if you get more serious or go into marriage, only to find out that you have irreconcilable differences. Tell her that you will always remain very good friends and help each other move on to a better future with future partners.
I know that this is never easy for both of you, rakesh but if it's for the better, then break it to her as early as possible so that she wouldn't be left hanging hopelessly.
2007-09-18 22:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best thing you could do. After all, if you have been honest with her in some cases, you can do the same with how you feel at the moment.....
You have to reassure her that your friendship will remain no matter what happens and that you need a time to be on your own . Tell her that you want to be on your own , and that would be giving her the freedom kto do the things she wants .
That way you will both know what you missed when you are not both comitted with each other as sweethearts.
Convince her it would help a lot in knowing what you really want in life....
Then you can move to another place, far from where you now live and avoid any contact with her....
2007-09-18 23:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant think of anything other than telling her the truth. It will hurt her but its definitely better doing it now. She'll get over it with time, being with someone out of pity is not why you should be in a relationship. Tell her as nice as you can and be there for her when she needs you (just keep it clear that you're just friends). Or you know, you could just act like a big jerk and get her to dump you. That doesnt always work though...
2007-09-18 22:57:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you say you've been honest with her from the beginning, you need to keep it like that even if you know the truth will hurt her. But, eventually she will heal and move on. It's no good for you or her to prolong a relationship that you see has no future. You know what needs to be done, so it's just the matter of when you will have guts to tell her how you feel. Good luck buddy!
2007-09-18 22:54:01 · answer #4 · answered by unwritten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is not a crime to realize that you and she will not work out in the long term. You are entitled to your feelings and hers?? Well, she will have to deal with it. She and you are on different plateaus in this relationship. A nice private conversation will be in order here. You cannot put this off because she will be an emotional wreck--that is a form of blackmail and denial on her part--she will resort to threats everytime you have a feeling of your own--that makes her an even worse choice. It is time to have that talk and then move on with your plans--it won't be easy for you either....she has to realize that. What if you weren't right for her?? wouldn't you want to know?? Good luck.
2007-09-18 22:51:30 · answer #5 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling this uncertain you need to tell her - NOW!! It may be just a case of running scared since she's talking long-term committment. But whatever it is, honesty is needed on your part. If you think it's possible to end ANY relationship without causing emotional pain, your wrong. It comes with the territory, and is part of the risk we all take when we make that first decision to date someone!
2007-09-18 22:51:32 · answer #6 · answered by cautious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it off now. To her it is already serious and if you don't feel the same way the longer you let her believe you have a future the more crushed she will be. She deserves more out of life than you can give her so give her the chance to find her Mr. Right.
2007-09-18 22:51:31 · answer #7 · answered by Country Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. To be blunt. Yes.
Break up with her before she gets to serious. Trust me.
When I first got with my boyfriend, I said stuff like that, that I wanted to be with him forever but I never really meant it. I just thought it was what people said. Now I truely love him and everything I say is true, if he broke up with me now and I found out he had been thinking about it for a long time I would be bitter and angry he hadnt told me earlier.
If you want to keep her as a friend, give her time to get over it.
2007-09-18 22:50:36 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah Darling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had been in the relation for a year and it never crossed to your mind that she is not the type of a girl and were moving only because you thought it will hurt her. That is weird expression ever we have in the name of relation. its very easy for a man to walk out but it is very difficult for a woman to walk out from the realm of the relation she cherished. You were not honest with yourself and her thorough out and you should be bold in admitting to her before its really too late. At least she will respect your honesty.
2007-09-18 22:54:48 · answer #9 · answered by khulus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems you have been using her, if you are gf and bf it should only be because you want to be with each other for a life time, you would be doing her a favour by leaving her she would be much better of without you, she might be an emotional wreck, but you have only yourself to blame for that, I hope some female treats you like this one day, with total disrespect for a relationship
2007-09-18 22:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by please ask m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋