How do I avoid a handshake without seemed rude?

Question

I am a Muslim male. Being a Muslim I am not allowed to shake hand with a female by a certain degree. My current job requires me to deal a lot with Westerners, and Westerners shake hands.

How do I avoid a handshake without seemed rude by female Westerners? What should I say to them? What professional gesture should I replace my handshake with?

Imagine you (a female Westerner who loves to shake hand) try to shake hand with me and I avoiding it. What should I say to you?

Answer 1

Politely tell them that you are not aloud to shake hands with a lady.

That out of respect you are not aloud to shake hands with a lady.

Remember to use the word 'lady'.

An ADULT should understand and it might open up a discussion into each other religion and thus make things better is this world..

Answer 2

Unfortunately, you are going to meet a lot of people in your business dealings who may misinterpret your actions rather than understand them as a requirement of your religion and culture. People can be very ignorant regarding these issues.

I wish I had a true answer for you, but my best suggestion is to think about what professional gesture you might use in your own culture when greeting women in a professional setting (perhaps how you would greet the wife of a business colleague if you were all to dinner, etc.). Try to draw from those experiences to create a greeting that takes the place of a handshake, and be prepared, when meeting women in a business context, to greet them in this manner before their hand is extended to you.

If a woman does extend her hand first for a handshake, the only thing to do is to explain the situation as politely as possible. Tell her that your religion views a handshake between man and woman as a more intimate gesture, but that you are very pleased to meet her acquaintance.

Answer 3

I suppose you will have to greet western women, like you greet women in your on country? In the west we try to treat women as equals in business, so technically it would be polite to shake hands. It is polite, when going to another country to greet them in their custom not your own. It's as a respect to each others culture.Some of the comments suggest getting over your religious beliefs and to just shake a lady's hand. BUT it's only a silly greeting gesture that westerners do. If you explain that your religion doesn't permit you to shake female hands, they should understand and respect that. It may be viewed as sexist by some women but that's just something that will happen. Just be honest and explain why and don't come up with some half baked answer about your hands being dirty or you've pulled a muscle. Take care

Answer 4

I'm not sure what your own custom is, but it might be an idea to clasp your hands together and bow slightly or incline your head with a polite smile. That would make the person withdraw their hand. If you can manage that before they stick their hand out, it would be an even better signal.

As a woman I always find it interesting that people don't expect me to hold out my hand! In that case, I tend to craw back my hand, clasp my hands together and incline my head-- so it might work on both sides!

People who find it rude would be small minded... and I know it would still bother you, but people need to understand that there are different cultures and different customs. Perhaps in some cases it might be practically to briefly explain-- for instance, if someone sticks their hand out, you might start with a brief smile and "Oh-- we..." and then do the hands clasping and brief nodding. It will show them you mean no offense, just your culture is different.

I think you're lovely for being sensitive to how others might feel if they don't understand your own culture. Good luck!

Answer 5

Whether or not it is allowed is open to personal interpretation.
But if you believe it's not allowed, I can imagine you run into troubles in Western society.

What you can try is to shake hands with no-one (including men), but use a short bow instead (hand on your heart if you like, or both hands folded). Then you probably won't have to explain yourself because the bow is obviously from another culture. Westeners respect that.
You will have to initiate it - you have to be the first. If the other party is already offering their hand, it's a bit late.

To avoid having to explain yourself you can give the same treatment to both men and women.

Also important:
Get your superior's opinion. Pose the problem to him (her?) without immediately suggesting solutions. See what he comes up with. It's important to have his support.

Answer 6

You are in a very difficult position.

I mean, ideally I would say that if it is the case that you cannot interact socially with Westerners in a way that is mutually respectful, then you should find another job.

Since I know that isn't reasonable, however, I would say that you do not shake hands with anyone and instead, clasp your hands together and hold them to your body and issue a small bow or nod, before people extend their hand to you.

An alternative, of course, is to have your hands full at all times.

Answer 7

Tell them the truth. Let them know that there are certain aspects of your religion that require you to not touch a woman. If you and I were in this situation (since I'm a Western female), I would completely understand and give you my upmost respect for being so dedicated to your religion. It'll be rare that you come across a woman (or anyone for that matter) who wouldn't respect you and your religion in the business world.

I hope I helped, and good luck!

Answer 8

There is no gesture I can think of that would replace the standard handshake in western culture. Your business will suffer, but if you must explain, I suppose a simple and to the point, "Muslim men do not shake hands with women". will just have to do, right? Perhaps deal with this issue beforehand and don't deal with western women at all. In our culture, as well, it is the woman who is supposed to instigate the handshake, NOT the man, so you are in double trouble if you just plain ignore her gesture. It all really depends on whether you want them and need them; or whether they need your business.

Answer 9

Keep your hands folded to your body, smile and bow. Also say "I am so pleased to meet you", or "It is so nice to see you again".

If you want to be entirely correct about this, if you are in mixed company you should also greet the men the same way, otherwise it becomes a brush-off of the woman with whom you may want to do business. There is no reason why you should jump on adopting Western customs for men and not women.

You could also try wearing a cast on your right arm for all business meetings (joke).

But seriously, if you are going to do business with the infidel, I suggest re-thinking the whole religion thing. Look at your base principles and ask yourself if there isn't really a moral conflict here. You want to make money in the western way and yet you want to cling to religious values that reject some of the very basic underpinnings of Western thought. I'm not sure you can have it both ways.

There comes a point where centuries-old thinking simply doesn't work anymore.
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Answer 10

I love to shake hands. I got this from my father. Makes the other person feel special.Makes a meeting seem official.
Don't let being a muslim make u a rude motherf___r.