I have a "friend" whos has a few "children" with a "guy".....welll anyways he has a gf but keeps going back to my friend whne he visits the children...if he even thinks she has a bf he sulks and gets all upset.....what should i tell her? it's good for him to bearound for his sons but still not really a good image for them to learn which they will eventually....
2007-09-18 19:15:27 · 14 answers · asked by Princess Consuela B. Hammock 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
turtle..where did i imply my advice wasn't solicited??
2007-09-18 19:26:18 · update #1
see the prob is theres way more than i can type here...so it's rather difficult...
2007-09-18 19:30:01 · update #2
I BAIL
2007-09-18 20:14:18 · answer #1 · answered by kay kay 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The whole situation isn't healthy for the friend or the kids. Since the guy is committed to the gf, then so be it - he doesn't deserve to get the "friends with privleges" treatment. Instead, keep it casual - a bit distant. Tell friend that she deserves someone full time, who loves her, not someone who just wants a romp every now and again.
There's someone out there - the problem right now is that friend limits her options by allowing this guy to have "sleep overs" - that's not going to be something that most guys are going to find acceptable.
2007-09-19 03:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Larry V 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to your friend to set the boundaries for the ex. Tell your friend to arrange for the children to see him without her around. She could drop of the children at her parents house or just go there for him to pick them up. She could arrange for a friend to be with her when he is scheduled to see the children. She should tell him that seeing th children is not a free invitation to her bed or her heart. She is and should be in full control of what he does when he sees the children. It is up to he to protect the children from being exposed to this. If she does not, the children will end up thinking that it is normal to be controlled by other people, which is exactly what she is allowing to happen.
2007-09-18 19:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This bloke is doing this because he can. Your friend should of course encourage a continuing relationship between father and child. They need a neutral location for access visits. He should not come into her home to see the kids. Could she take them to a grandparent or other relatives home? Tell her to grab back her self esteem and kick this bloke to the kerb NOW
2007-09-18 19:21:58 · answer #4 · answered by genie3wishes 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, i think your friend should be the one to put the limit between her and this guy. She need to think straight, whether she still like the guy or not. Its possible that the guy still like your friend and using the kids as a reason for his visit. in other words, your friend should have the say or the control over everything.They should talk once and for all. And decide for the better.Good luck.
2007-09-18 19:28:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to man up. Dude, if he wants to be with the mother of his children then do it. And if doesn't then he should go find someone else and stop sulking about the mum having bf's
2007-09-18 19:24:47 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend has not asked for your advice, stay out of it. I know observing this and thinking of the kids is hard, but you really shouldn't butt in unless your opinion has been asked for. Support your friend and continue to be there for her and the kids. The kids probably don't think anything of their mom and dad being together. The mother is a fool and the father is a pig, but what can you do about that?
2007-09-18 19:22:10 · answer #7 · answered by gma 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Keep the focus on the kids and keep it well established that they are done and can't happen again. Short of that tell him to grow up and stay out of her personal life. He can't very well maintain a good relationship in his life if he focuses on hers. Their relationship should be civil, but if he is only their to check up on her then she needs to call him on it and make arrangements to solve said problem.
2007-09-18 19:28:17 · answer #8 · answered by Gray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her "man up." sounds to me like she hasn't moved on completely though, nor has he. honestly, they might end up with eachother at some point in the future. it's hard to say from the details, but he may aslo be playing mind games with her. was he mentally abusive to her when they were together? ok, so the advice should be to tell her that she needs to be strong for her kids and move on. she needs to find someone who will be good to her.
2007-09-18 19:23:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe u should tell ur friend to be more mature..
at least think about their children..
it's both of their children rite..
for the sake of their children, please be more mature..
they sounded like they didn't care more about their children..
they sounded more like only care 4 themself..
remind them that they are "parents" to their children..
he's ok to be around with the kids, but, well, she as a mother, have 2 look out..
i think u know what i mean..
2007-09-18 19:24:55 · answer #10 · answered by Honey Gee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is she a swinger too or just allows him to be.She does know doesn't she? Tell her what's in your heart and on your mind for sure.
2007-09-18 19:22:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋