Two year old PREEMIE.... a speech question?

Question

How do you get a child to speak in sentences and say "I would like___ Mommy" or "my ___ hurts?" My daughter is intellegent otherwise (she's catching up as she was two months early) and can say many two word phrases, but to get her way or when something hurts she just whines, cries, and SCREAMS at the top of her lungs. She's the same way when I take something from her that she shouldn't have or if she throws her toys and gets them taken away.

I don't push...never have. I know that she'll do things when she's ready (heck, she didn't walk until 21 months old....with help from weekly physical therapy since she was 6 months to help with all of her milestones). It's just frustrating when she doesn't properly communicate. She is very well mannered and says "please", "excuse me", "thank you", etc. She also knows her ABC's (not in order but just by looking at them), all of her colors, all shapes, and can count to ten on her own. She just doesn't know how to properly communicate with me other than saying "eat", "milk", etc. I'd like to hear sentences from her. I talk to her all the time and tell her to please say "I want milk, Mommy", etc. It's just not working and it's frustrating!

Answer 1

My son was a preemie and he is turning 3 on Monday. He has 3 word phrases but can sing the ABC's and counts to 20 whether it is a pile of goldfish crackers or his trains.

I had him evaluated and the doctors told me that although he is slow with his speech what will help is interaction with other children. His speech is slow but normal for his birth age. He spent 2 hours with another boy his age yesterday and talked all night. For the first time he ran up the stairs calling, Daddy, Daddy, come on play Daddy, and then when Daddy went to bed he said Night Night Daddy.

Have your daughter evaluated to see if she has any special challenges but at 2 she really seems normal for some kids.

I know 2 boys and one girl who didn't speak more than phrases until around 3 1/2 and they are all fine. My daughter was speaking in paragraphs at 13 months which has made my sons speech frustrating but he is normal.

Good luck and and don't forget once she starts talking she won't shut up.

Answer 2

A lot of two-year-olds don't express themselves very well. That's part of the reason they get so frustrated and have tantrums.

Also, its absolutely normal for a two-year-old to scream or have a tantrum when something they want is taken away.

My baby was a premie, and he was ahead when it came to speech and any number of things; so being a premie doesn't always mean having "premie-related" issues.

Little ones whine when they get hurt. That's better than having a child who cries. Whining is simply "mild crying".

It sounds like your two-year-old is a typical two-year old.

The thing with two-year-olds is that parents have to be very clever about not surprising them, not getting into too many power struggles, and creating a kind of cheerful mood when it comes to taking things away from them.

If you're going to take something away if you do something like say (in a pleasant tone), "Ooh - we can't have toys being thrown. Let's put this away, so it won't get broken," the toddler loses the toy but may not get her back up as much as if the parent just took the toy. Also, by politely and quickly removing the toy and explaining why, the child does learn what she did to get it taken away.

If she wants her way try to distract her and get her interested in something else. That eliminates the power struggle and still accomplishes what you wanted accomplished.

In another few months she'll probably have better ability to communicate, will feel less frustrated, and will be that much closer to three.

Answer 3

My daughter just started doing it by herself it really depends on the level of communication with the child too. My daughters also 2 and has been saying sentences from just before she was 2 she is very advanced for her age. Which people don't expect from a teen mum. When its through throwing her toys its an attention thing, very normal for this age and also because she can't quite get her sentences out she will also be becoming frustrated with that herself. When she just says drink for example get her to repeat "mummy, I would like a drink please" a few people have done this and it has worked as you are teaching the child how to use the word in a sentence. Just don't expect it to happen straight away it may take her a while to develop this. Good luck

Answer 4

That is pretty typical of a lot of tots. My grandson does the pointing the finger and saying "dat", or Eh. One of my sisters did not speak until she was 4 and had the same way of saying what she wanted. Her first word: "absolutely". She just didn't have anything to say until then.
Being a Preemie has nothing to do with it. She gets what she wants. One day it will be as if a switch was flipped on, and you'll not be able to shut her up!
Level of communication has nothing to do with it either!
I am mom of 3, grandma of 10, 6 siblings, a very large family, I have been around lots of kids. She will talk when she has something to say!

Answer 5

I guess it's hard to say without more info, but for most kids, not being able to find the words they want can be very frustrating. With our second one, he didn't talk as quickly as the first (I think his older brother just did so much talking that he didn't think he needed to), and I was tired of hearing the crying. So we bought some signing videos for him to watch. He really liked doing that, and learning the words to sign that he didn't know how to say yet.

It's normal for a toddler to cry or throw a fit when they don't get their way. For that, you need to determine a constant consequence for throwing a fit to use as a punishment. Then gauge when it's a fit and when it's frustration from not knowing how to say what she wants. Also, don't interperet grunting or other body language if she's using it instead of saying words she knows. Say, do you mean please? Say please...Ok good job. That sort of thing.

Answer 6

How premature was she? At age 2, she will still be functioning at "gestational age" rather than "chronological age". In other words, if she was 2 months premature, she will still be at least 2 months behind the average.
There aren't many 2 year-olds who speak with more than 2 words at a time. It is likely she won't be combining words for at least another 6 months because of her prematurity. Lots of preemies don't catch up completely until they are about 4.

Answer 7

Well you know your kids, and what they are capable of. When my children are learning the language, I use more sign language because they can't voice everything but they can sign. If you know she can say the words you want her to, then just tell her what you want her to say. When my kids scream for something, I stop them and say "say mom (pause) food please" If it is my youngest one, I show her the sign for more and please and down because those are the words she needs when she is having a tantrum. It is an ongoing process because their emotions get the best of them, but the more I do this, the quicker they are to calm down and repeat what I say, and when they aren't all worked up, they say this just fine on their own. Going from 2 words to sentences just happens on their own, one day they will add another word and it goes from there.

Answer 8

not all children do the same things at the same ages. it sounds like she is acting like a very normal 2 year old. do not expect her to do everything YOU think she should be able to do. let her be a normal child and nurture her for what she can do and what she is going to do WHEN she is ready. i have been where you are (20 years ago) and now my child is attending a private university on a full scholarship. i tried to push him to do all the things i thought he should but a teacher friend told me how wrong i was for pushing.

Answer 9

She will be fine. do not baby talk and give her lots of opportunities to engage in conversation.

Answer 10

She is only two. She will do it when she feels like it.