Should i trust my girlfriend again?

Question

Me and my gf went to Hong Kong together to work and stay.

Recently we are facing a lot of pressure adapting new environment and we argue alot. She was really sad these days. Suddenly, from a friend of her, I know that there is a guy keep calling my gf and say very sweet thing and ask her to go out. My gf told her friend that she did think about going out with that guy but she is feeling sad and guilty on doing that. Although she didn't really go out with the other guy, she did think about it. I was kinda sad and I know i did really wrong on having such bad temper and always forced her to do this and that.

I decided to talk to her about this. She said she already made the choice of not thinking about that guy again. She apologized for not telling me the truth.

Should I trust her again and try to solve our problems? I guess i have to get rid of my bad temper and treasure her more. I guess i kinda take it for granted after dating my gf for 4 years.

I do love her so much. I guess we need to solve our problem first. however, right now when we chat on the phone, it is kinda weird. I guess it takes a bit more time to rebuild our trust. Again, I love her so much so I will try to get rid of all the bad things i have :(

Thanks guys

Answer 1

although she was wrong not to tell you about the guy that about ends it there. i don't see why you can't trust her and like you said you have a really bad temper and things haven't been well. you should treasure her more and be thankful she didn't cheat on you with the other guy. pay her more attention and don't let the anger get in the way of your relationship.

Answer 2

Sounds like you're starting to see the light. Sure you should forgive her. At least she was not getting layed by another dude. That would really hurt. However, she should not even be entertaining the guy that's calling her. To some, that IS cheating. But at the same time, if you were handling your business and taking better care of her--like taking her out and saying sweet things to her--she wouldn't need another guy whispering sweet nothings in her ear b/c she's got all that at home. But the truth is you were not taking care of home. You left her feeling empty and yearning for something that you don't give her. If you really lover her then ACT like it dangit. Even if it's 10 or 20 years, you have to care enough to make an effort to keep the love alive and thriving. If you don't lover her then let her go so that she can be with someone else that actually wants to make her HAPPY. When people are unsatisfied in relationships, they do one of two things: 1. leave OR 2. cheat. You know when she's happy and when she's not so do what you have to do to make her happy and I guarantee she will make you a happy man. I know it's probably hard to find someone close to talk to confidentially so if you need to, seek counselling.

Answer 3

I would definitely give her another chance. It seems like she is really mixed up and depressed right now because of how her life is going. A lot of people cannot think clearly under these circumstances. Also, if she admitted the fact to you and apologized (instead of become very defensive and angry) it probably means that she really did feel bad, and that she is probably telling the truth about this guy. If she became suddenly defensive and mad, it would seem like she is guilty and hiding something.

I have been dating my boyfriend for half as long (2 yrs) and we have been through some rough times. With perseverance and trust, we have made it through everything and we are more in love than ever before.

Give her another chance. 4 years is a long time to throw away just because of a little confusion on her part! Everyone is entitled to it and some point in their lives.

Answer 4

I just went through the same thing with my girl. She's been talking to some guy. Although she never met him, or cheated on me, she "thought" about doing it. I'm taking a week away from her to really decide if I can see myself trusting her, and if she is "the one", or has the potential to be. Some people here will say no don't trust her, some will. But the point is, if you think she could be "the one" and you see yourself possibly spending the rest of your life with her, since she's been with you for 4 years, it may be a good idea to trust her. Maybe you could do what I do and take a little time away from her so BOTH of you can sit back and see what you guys really want, and if continuing the relationship is the best thing to do. All in all, I wish you both the best of luck and that whatever happens everything works out for ya! Good luck!

Answer 5

she's lieing, you can't just say 'i won't think about him again', it never works that way, you can still trust her but keep an eye out because there's a lot of ways people can easily cheat on others like texting, im'ing, ect. right behind your back then plan a day to do something with them. But if she doesn't mean that much to you then let her go cuz she's most likely not worth the pain. Or if she seriously loves you then she'll try and stop because she doesn't want anything to happen to your realtionship, but the other person she was associating with might not think the same and still try and talk to her. So be careful not to mistake him talking to her with her talking to him.

hope that made some sort of sense.

Answer 6

U should trust her again because it is hard to adapt to a new environment and also u mentioned that u guys argue alot. so from that she might become depressed or lonely and feel she needs someone there for her. but then this guy shows up and gives her that. but she didn't go out with the other guy because she doesn't want to go againest you and that shows that she still cares and loves you.
if you guys try to work things out together, stop fighting a bit more im sure you guys will be back into square one.

Answer 7

Yes, you should get rid of your bad temper and treasure her more. I think, she was considering to go out with that guy because of how you treat her. She also doesn't feel like you value her enough and that you love her. Should you trust her again? It's up to you. But she did not go out with that guy. That guy said sweet things to her and maybe that's what tempted her to go out with him. The other guy made her feel like she is loved and wanted and valued. If you really love her I really suggest you to treat her a lot better.

Answer 8

she has done nothing wrong. you have to learn to understand female, after all you open the window of opportunity for that guy to step in (well not really yet) by not treating her well. if i were you i would let my girlfriend go out for lunch or dinner with him as long as it is just casual. keeping her in prison will not gonna solve your problem (so does spying on her). she's being with you is purely her decision, not bound by any contract whatsoever, free will. don't want her to say that she could never be free when you were around, don't you? next, dating her for 4 years? are you serious? then proof it.... i think she began to wonder where this relationship heading.... you know what i mean? don't you love her? treating her good is one and taking this relationship to the next level is another. decide ! don't waste her time.

Answer 9

Its been a long time you stay with her. I don't think you should just let go the relationship.
May be the best way, go to the counseling session to help to resolve the problem. After finish the session, that is the best time for you to trust her back or to solve the problem.
And just remember everyone deserve a second chance.

Answer 10

Yes you should forgive her, but don't forget about it.
Just keep it in mind.

Me and my ex gf went through alot.
and this is one of the any situations we've been through.

She had liked my best friend.
while we was going out.

and I found out from her best friend
my ex had also wished that my bestfrend would like her back.

That had really hurted me.

Even to this day, she stills try to tell me that she doesn't have feelings for him anymore.

But to tell you the truth.
I know she still does.

I don't like how they talk to each other.
He's the type that plays around alot.
He leaves her comments saying that he's going to have sex with her, and do all these sorts of stuff.

He knows I still have feelings for her yet he still does it.
and when I tell her how I feel, she gets mad and say that it's my fault I get jealous.
She also promises to not talk to him, but yet they still talk..

It hurts alot, but we can't control what they do or chooses to do..