i left my children with my partner for 30 mins in that time he was so rude to them he told my eldest to hang his F***ing towell up and my youngest rudely to wash himself, he told me i can keep my f***ing kids and that my eldest annoys the **** out of him and my youngest 7 yo doesnt wash properly. what do I do wrong ?
2007-09-18 17:14:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The same thing happened to me, while my daughter was in the custody of her mother and her husband, ....except....
...the abuse got worse, someone called Children's Aid, and they said
"If I didn't seek to remove
a) the abuser from the household or
b) remove the child to a safe place,
they WOULD find a safe place for her."
As of last Monday,one year later after taking my daughter into my home, I now have FULL legal custody of my daughter. Mom has access. Husband will be formally charged if he as much says "Hi" to my daughter. Ever.
Mom stayed with abusive husband, and now, one year later, FINALLY decided to separate from him, because he was still abusing. ABUSING HER. As said in other comments above, she made a bad choice in the beginning, by marrying a known violent person.
She thought things would change if "the problem child" was removed from the equation.Right.
It's not your fault, or your kid's fault, it's the abuser.
He should be dealt with, and I don't mean later.
You will not want to know later.
2007-09-19 10:18:58 · answer #1 · answered by PAUL A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You chose the wrong person to bring into your children's lives. Do not let him talk to your children like that. That is not only rude, but abusive. If you stay with this man, you will live to regret it. They will always believe that you chose this man over them, and that you love him more. His behavior is unacceptable, and will eventually give them a complex about themselves.
It was not necessary for him to use vulgar language when talking to children. Also, it is very common for 7 year olds not to bathe properly. I once had to send my son back 3 times, because he did not want to bathe. He even tried wetting his hair, so that it appeared he did. That is frustrating I will grant you, but it is no reason to disrespect a child. They are children and will do those type things sometimes.
This man has no business being left with your children. Tell him that they are not F------g children, but he is an F-----g As#hole!!! He is supposed to be the adult. He should act like one.
2007-09-18 17:31:10 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why would u stay with a man who treats ur own children like that?
If he can treat them so disrespectfully then obviously he doesnt respect u that much either!
Put ur children 1st ... I wouldnt let any man treat my children that way!
Give him 1 more chance and if he behaves like an immature jerk then get out for the sake of ur kidz!
This happened to a family member of mine, she stayed in the relationship even though she knew darn well that her partner was rude and disrespectful to her children... The kids have grown up now and hate her for letting him get away with it for so long...
Do u want to grow up having to live with the fact that ur children dont want to be a part of ur life because u let ur partner get away with this behaviour for so long??
2007-09-18 18:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might not want to hear it but you need to think of your kids first. Get the man some counseling and if he wont go, leave and take your children with you. You children should always come first. There are plenty of other men that would love to hang out with your kids.
2007-09-18 17:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by TLS (Caitlin is coming! 5/15/08) 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You chose him as a partner. You can try talking to him and let him know his behavior was extremely unacceptable to your kids. I wouldn't leave the kids with him again if that is how he acts toward them when you are not around. Is he like this when you are present?? And is this how you want your kids to turn out?
Time to think about what is best for the kids.
2007-09-18 17:20:22 · answer #5 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's your "partner" not your husband? Kick him out. He's no good for you or the kids.
If he's your husband, kick him out anyway, your kids shouldn't have to go through this.
And don't have any more boyfriends until the youngest is 18; your kids need your attention.
Get your tubes tied, and in 11 years you can do what you like.
2007-09-18 17:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What you do wrong is get into a relationship with a guy who does not like or respect your kids. Sadly as a single parent, you can't just randomly date or marry some guy who doesn't like your kids.
Your partner needs to learn to love your kids, or you need to dump him so that they don't end up traumatized. Your first responsibility is always to the kids. Not you, not your relationships or fun. You brought humans into this world, and you need to take care of them until they are old enough to take care of themselves.
2007-09-18 17:19:34 · answer #7 · answered by ZCT 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone talk to your kids like that. He doesn't have any respect for you and your kids, and you didn't do anything wrong. You need to dump him. If I had kids, no man I'm dating would disrespect them AT ALL. Don't put that man above your kids, think of them first. You should have dumped him the same day he disrespected your kids.
2007-09-18 19:08:58 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Shania♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was in a relationship like this once and let me give you the best advice. RUN. this won't stop. it will only get worse. and you need to think about your babies. it is not a way you want them growing up. in my relationship it actually started becoming physical. and i am sure in yours it will too. the only thing you did wrong was unknowingly picked a stupid man. now do the right thing and show him where the door is. there is no excuse for mistreating a child no matter its age.
2007-09-18 17:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by MotherTeresa 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
what you did wrong was pick a selfish a-hole to be with. If you have any feeling at all for your children you will kick him to the curb. Otherwise expect to be rejected by your children by the time they are grown because you chose him over them.
2007-09-18 17:24:33 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋