I met this girl and we exchanged e-mails. We sent messages for about two weeks and then exchanged phone numbers. We seem to click very well and we are planning to meet up in a couple of weeks. The problem I have is that I am an amputee (leg) and I haven't told her. I know, I know.... but should I tell her as soon as possible and how do I bring up the topic. I am not shy nor insecure about my disability, I just didn't want her to have any preconcieved notions about who I am without getting to know me first.
2007-09-18 16:27:39 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Actually, you ease her into it. Whatever you say will be a jolt to her and you should be prepared for her freaking out. But I would tell her that she needs to see the complete you
2007-09-18 16:34:23 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just let her know that you feel you should tell her something before you all meet so she won't be surprised or anything . There is nothing wrong with your disability , i worked in a rehab. once and seen that alot with young people even! things can happen in life and if she's a good person she won't think anything about it and will still want to see you ! If not then you wouldn't need someone like that anyway and what have you lost? I'd say nothing!!
2007-09-18 23:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You do not know how she would react, so it is hard
Here's what I would do. Casuallly bring up the notion of disability without making it personal.
You could say something like many disabled people on the net find love. You don't really know who you are talking to on here
See if she says anything and how she feels.
If she says anything negative about disabilities then get the hell out of there and find someone who has respect for you.
2007-09-18 23:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not shy, why haven't you told her before?
Tell her now....She likes you, you like her...
Yes, I can understand where you are coming from.....
You must tell her before you met her.
It really will not make a difference, IF you tell her first.
Put the shoe on The other foot.
Well, than who am I to say....My twin brother is almost totally disabled, must feed him. clean him, dress him.
Not to worry, His wife knew, married 10 years ago and still going..
I am so sorry, that you lost your leg, It is easy for me to say..
I know it was ...well no words can describe it.....
You went through it, Your heart and life is here.....
You made it..God Bless you.....
Go get her .....You are a wonderful man!!!
2007-09-19 00:02:19 · answer #4 · answered by Eve 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your next few emails to each other before you meet you can start off telling the story of what happened to your leg.
and in the future be upfront with her. Better you find out if she's still interested in talking to you after that than investing all this time only to find out that she may not be interested after words. I think it would be better for you to put that right out and up front first.
Saves you time too why invest in all this time if your only going to come out later and she turns you down . your wasting both your time.
2007-09-18 23:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A delay may be taken or mistaken as deception. I think it would be best if you emailed her to say that you look forward to meeting with her, but there is something that she needs to know about you. Explain the "what" and the "how" and that you didn't want her to be surprised upon meeting. Have fun.
2007-09-18 23:57:56 · answer #6 · answered by trebor68 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you should just be yourself and be proud of you and you shouldn't HAVE to say anything. Do you wear a prosthetic? If so, wear jeans and she probably won't even tell. Maybe she'll say, "Hey, how did you get your limp?' and you can say with humour "Well, you kind of DO Limp when you wear a prosthetic limb". Does she have a good SOH? If it were me it honestly wouldn't bother me the least.
2007-09-18 23:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by Renesme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To say "I am an amputee" is to forthrightly challenge her to examine her sense of goodness, integrity, sincerity and compassion. It requires her to make a decision about her ability to accept you before she has gotten to know you.
Beware of putting her on the spot.
2007-09-22 11:36:49 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just spit it out.. I'm so so tall, whatever color hair and am an amputee... she'll take it or leave it. It's part of who you are, and as long as you're comfortable w/ yourself, so should anyone you have a relationship with.
2007-09-18 23:34:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if it was me I'd like to hear something like "I have something I didn't tell you before because I was afraid it would turn you off from me, but I want you to know because I don't think it's right to hold it back from you and I trust you" and then let her know. Thinking about it, it's not something that would definitely turn me off from a guy. If I liked him, I wouldn't close my mind to dating someone with a disability.
2007-09-18 23:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by Temari 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋