Any tips on how to mentally cope with raising a child alone?

Question

Got pregnant. Guy is being a jerk. I'm successful in my own right at work and proud that I'm almost 30 and pregnant. I find myself getting very depressed thinking how I'm going to pull everything together in the next 4 1/2 months.

Answer 1

hey, this is not really an answer but maybe a few suggestions from someone who wishes you the best but obviously cannot really understand what you are going through since I am a single guy with no kids (please don't be offended)

(1) raising a child is never easy ... recognize that it is a big challenge and a lot of work. It would be best to have two parents to help share the load because what is difficult to handle with two people becomes a whole lot harder when there is only one. never forget that and give yourself credit where credit is due. If the babies father is really a problem, probably you are better off without him in your life ... but if he really turns things around (sometimes realizing you are responsible for a baby does make some guys grow up ... you can always hope) then do get him back in the picture. don't get him back in the picture unless he really proves he is willing to commit to both your and your baby. you do not need to take care of another baby in addition to your young one.

(2) trying to do every thing on your own is a definite trap to avoid ... especially if you are the independent driven type. look for support and accept any reasonable help you can. try to find a local support group for single moms (hey, any moms ... because you will have common problems and experiences) so you have someone to talk to who really knows what you are going though. Hopefully you will be able to socialize and maybe share advice or even take care of each others babies/kids for few hours to give the other a break. take care of "mothers morning out" or similar (normally free?) services offered by churches or other community organizations to give you a break. Have someone you can talk to when things get too much and you feel like you cannot take it anymore ... someone you can call anytime and who will care enough to listen. I don't know how supportive your family or friends are ... they can be helpful but you also need to cut ties (well, at least distance yourself) from anyone in your life who serves only as a source of nonconstructive criticism. Take good advice and encouragement from anybody who is willing to give it.

Look for a "mentor" type relationship with an older women ... sometimes churches and pregnancy crisis centers (look in the yellow pages) can help with this. It can useful to have someone who is not a "social friend" but who knows the ropes of motherhood and who can be there to help and guide you if you ever get into a bind and fell like you just do not know what to do. Having kids is a big life experience and so someone who has "been there, done that" as a source of hard won wisdom.

I think having people around who you can and do talk to about what you are going though is probably a big part of beating the depression ... unless it has some medical root (i.e. post partum depression ... or you have a history of depression) ... then you will need to seek medical advice in addition to establishing a support system.

(3) don't stress too much about things going wrong. you have to learn to laugh and let things go ... that can be extremely hard for some people ... but if you do not you will drive yourself insane. period. You are doing the best you can and your baby will turn out fine ... there is no such thing as a perfect mom and you only get better with experience ... mistakes are part of the package (practice makes perfect)

(4) look after yourself ... eat, sleep and exercise the best you can (easier said than done, I realize ... but at least try to make a conscious effort)

Just take every day at a time ... wishing you all the best!!

Answer 2

You will be amazed how Strong you will be once you have that baby in your arms, you will do everything it takes to provide and make sure she/he has the best life you can provide for them. Just make sure you always put them first not any other guy in your life.
I hope you have a lot of support from other family and friends. There are also single mother support groups out there that maybe can help you out on having a night off here and there, and you return the favor to them. Of course once the baby is old enough to leave them with someone you trust.
Good luck!!

Answer 3

WELL SPEAKING FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE IT'S NOT THAT HARD. YOU SAID IT YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL ON YOUR OWN. none OF THAT CHANGES ONCE YOU HAVE HAD THE BABY. YOU JUST GET STRONGER BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER LIFE. AND IN MOST CASES THE GUYS ARE MORE TROUBLE AND STRESS THAN THEY ARE WORTH. FORGET ABOUT HIM!!!! AND KEEP YOUR HEAD UP THE BABY AND YOU WILL BE FINE. FAMILY IS THE BEST FOR MORAL SUPPORT AND TO HELP YOU OUT WITH TIPS TO RAISE YOUR LITTLE ONE, SOMETIMES IT DOES TAKE A VILLAGE. GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

You might check out whether there is a local Parents Without Partners support group. Be aware, there are jerks there just like other places, but lots of people get support.

Answer 5

If I can do it, then you can! It's hard, but well worth it. I look at my friends that are married with kids and laugh because the woman get so pissed at the men for not helping with the littlest things! I did everything by myself and wouldn't have it any other way!

Answer 6

Be strong and dun let things get you down. Hopefully you've got friends and family to count on for moral support.

Answer 7

You are going to do it because you have to. Screw the guy. You can raise a kid better without him and anyway...single parenting is almost becoming the norm lol...