i have been dating this guy on and off for 25 months..yesterday we talked and figured out that we are not on the same page..he told me that he is scared to be in a serious relationship since all his relationships were not that long lived or turned serious. i asked him what he wanted and he told me that he wants out. i told him okay, he thought that i would be mad at him yet the truth is that i was not. when he broke up with me i did not cry nor show any emotion as though nothing happened. my friends which includes my ex' sister as one of my best girlfriends said that maybe i do not know how to react to it. i was thinking about how when we would break up i would burst into tears in my own room yet this time i did not. i have moved on with my life already and am focusing more on grades than a break up and i know it sounds mean but how come i cannot show any emotion about the break up? i have not cried since, moved on, and am pretending that he does not exist.he wants to be friends though
2007-09-18 15:45:53 · 7 answers · asked by icycrissy27blue 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
also i have been seeing a councelor on campus-i attend a university-not because of any problemes but rather about stress and life in general. ever since i last saw my councelor i took the words to heart of how i should focus more on me,not dwell on the past, how everything will be okay..for the first time in a long time i am strong yet show no emotion.everyone thinks that i am okay which i am yet i am also hurting and do not know how to show it.that is why i bury myself in school,focus on upcoming tests,quizzes,essays, study groups, anything to keep my mind off this..i work out and have my friends' support yet they worry that what i am doing is unhealthy. why am i acting the way i am?i show no emotion and moved on with my life immediately and make A's vs. at least grieving and going through a rough time?
2007-09-18 15:50:03 · update #1
it is not that i am releived but rather i cannot find a way to show emotion..i have been in relationships when we broke up it seemed like a weight lifted off my shoulders yet this is not the case..i am afraid that if i actually cry i might get depressed and mess up my potential future so i just pretend that iam okay..i am also in love with this guy and he is still in love with me yet the thing is that it did not work out and i have come to accept that and also what surprised him was how independent i am again and how i am my own person and how fast i can pick up my life which i had to do since school is my number one priority-i mess up this semester and i can be on probation..
2007-09-18 15:58:52 · update #2
Wow all I can say is keep going with school.. yes make yourself priority i think you had said in the past your boyfriend is graduating or did graduate so he is done..now you have to be smart and finish :)) What I can't understand why now are you not on the same page??? after 25 months of being together do you feel this way too or is this what your boyfriend said when you guys decided to break up???I am sure you both love each other because you have broken up in the past and you both seem to go back...You probably are numb to to the whole thing right now and that is why you can't cry right now but in time you will feel the pain and face it because I know that if you care about him still it will creep in but do not let it affect your studies this you must continue for you no matter what happens :)))I have many smart friends that went to college and even got MBA's and had awesome jobs and moved to other states to be with the guy and get married and in the end the guy was so selfish and friend divorced him she left a great job in New York City to be with him all I can say is now she is doing a great and back in NY great job family and friends that love her and she is dating a great man to... its all that you believe and put out there I do not know your situation with your boyfriend but I wish you the best always be smart and never let anyone take advantage, or make you feel stressed or bad...you do whats good for you and what makes you happy remember always be safe and do well this semester it has just begun and then you have another so take one day at a time and thats good your involved with many activitues in your college keep busy ok and take care :)))
2007-09-18 16:25:00 · answer #1 · answered by Rita 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're doing great. One of the hardest things in life is to break up with someone - especially after you've invested so much time, and persued it with the thought that he might be "the one." It's never easy to just walk away from that. But, the fact that you are not letting this ultimately stop everything else good in your life from happening shows, in my opinion a great deal of maturity.
You do need to let yourself greive. You need to "release the deamon" b/c eventually it'll catch up with you if you don't. But, do not let the grieving interfere with your world. Your ex made it abundantly clear that he's not on the same page - he's not willing to commit to a lifetime, not willing to commit to a devotion including you. This is why it was so commendable that you moved on. Even though it was his choice to begin with to end it, it is ultimately the best thing for you. Something that is so important to make a relationship work is the same goals - he doesn't have the same as you, and he's willing to foresake you to persue his own life without you in it - then you move on, which it sounds like is exactly what you're doing. I commend you for that.
You've found something else to devote your time to which is very important to you. This is why you've not shown any emotion in this situation. Believe me, it's not the end of the world. It may feel like that at times b/c something that was such a huge part of your life is not any longer, and that can take some getting used to (once you stop what you're doing long enough to realize that) ... but things come and go in your life, and you'll learn that no matter what happens, the sun will rise the next morning. And you know what's really cool about that? You NEVER know what could be waiting for you - you just gotta go out there and get it. Eventually, everything else just falls into place.
Don't give yourself such a hard time about this. And above everything else, DO NOT allow him to be something you have to survive. That's not true love. You have to ask yourself why it was so easy for him and you to move on - him especially. Do you want to be that disposable in his life? The minute he finds something new and exciting, he'll leave you without much thought after? Hell no!
So continue on your path - you'll find your way... you've got so much going for you.
Good luck!! I commend you.
2007-09-18 16:34:56 · answer #2 · answered by Impavidsoul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obama has proven himself mostly to be an elitist snob. If he is not wise adequate to become aware of that the commander-in-leader will have to consult with his wounded troops, then he hasn't the feel to be President of the USA.
2016-09-05 19:24:14 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe deep down, you knew it wasn't right for you either. You have been very mature about the situation, and moved on accordingly. Good job!
2007-09-18 17:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you're relieved to have broken up with this guy. i have had relationships end where i was happier the moment it ended than i had been in months. everyone deals with things differently, and if you're not upset about it, then its ok not to show emotion.
2007-09-18 15:54:38 · answer #5 · answered by Sara W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already figured it out. You're determined not to mess up your future, so you're not letting yourself feel things too strongly that might interfere with your progress.
2007-09-18 17:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are focused on something else
and not on him. its not mean it is a way to avoid feelings
2007-09-18 15:56:51 · answer #7 · answered by hila_lila16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋