My boyfriend was murdered 13 days ago. I think I'm going crazy because I stay up for hours every night talking to him and crying. I have a shrine I made that I light 2 candles all night between his obituary. I sleep with his dirty shirts (they smell just like him). I tell him good morning when I wake up. When I come home from school, I ask him how was his day and what did he do. I tell him how my day was, what I ate and did also. I do this at bedtime too. Is this normal?
2007-09-18 14:40:47 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG! You poor thing. That's just horrible, I'm sorry for your loss. Honey, you're missing him, you're not going crazy! It's difficult to get over a tragedy like that. I feel so bad about what you're going through. Email me if you need to talk. I may not be there in person for you but we can talk about the pain you are feeling and going through.
caribricanqueen@yahoo......
2007-09-18 14:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by Cricket 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm being serious. GET COUNCELING!!!!!! Seriously your behavior at this moment is extreme. I would like to know how old you are seeing as how your in school. Mabe seeing a school councelor should be first on your list. I'm not saying not to cry and mourn. thats normal I mean people grieve in different ways. But your not a character in a book how you deal with this now may affect your future emotional and mental state of mind. Please, please talk to someone about what your going through immediately. Oh and one more peace pf advice medication is not a first or fourth solution, but if after some serious verbal cleansing your not better think about it as temperary help to take the edge off
2007-09-18 14:58:14 · answer #2 · answered by mishue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. I have never experienced what you have before, so this is just my opinion...
It's okay to have things to remind you of him,rather than trying to forget he ever existed. It's okay to sleep with a shirt of his, if you really want to. But I don't know if it's normal to talk to him about what you ate and all. It's alright to think about him and stuff, but for me personally, I would open my journal and write in there instead of just talking aloud. That is just me though. I think you should also talk to a counselor who can help you stay focused and not go too crazy. You are going through a lot right now and it's okay to ask for help on how to get through it.
Good luck!
2007-09-18 14:49:40 · answer #3 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No set remedy to get over such a tragedy. Do what you feel is best to get you through the day. About the shrine, you don't need that, only God is worthy of such adoration. Try praying instead of the shrine. Take his obit and put it in a photo or scrap book. Add some pictures of you and him and memoribilia from dates and events you attended together.
It's ok to talk to him, but you need to talk to God about it more. Ask God to help you get over your hurt and go seek professional counseling to help you deal with his death. If you are not careful you will end up severly depressed and unable to function normally without talking to your ex-boyfriend.
It's definitely not an easy thing to deal with or get over.
God Bless!!!!
2007-09-18 14:58:40 · answer #4 · answered by boj 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it IS normal. It is called denial and eventually, it will pass into acceptance. Then there will be more crying and that is normal too. We are allowed to grieve in our own ways and need no one's permission to do so. It hurts to lose someone suddenly, no matter what the circumstances, and we each have our own way of working out that pain. Take time to grieve.
I have a friend whose husband died relatively young and for years she went to his grave to talk to him when her life was going badly. And she came back with an answer, until she met the man who would become her husband now. I guess he figured she had someone else to look over her now.
2007-09-18 14:56:37 · answer #5 · answered by Tom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to talk to him. I did the same thing with my dad, and we knew his death was coming months in advance. Give it some time. I know it doesn't seem like to now, but one day you'll get ready to go to bed and realize that you made it a whole day without crying. After that you'll realize that you can think about him without being sad - and focus on the memories instead of the loss.
If it's really bad for you, it could help to see a therapist. But even if you choose not to, it will get easier with time.
2007-09-18 14:47:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, You're normal. Everyone grieves in there own particular way. There is no right or wrong way. What you're doing if just fine. In time, you will be able to let go a little bit at a time, but it WILL take time. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! Take care of yourself. Time will heal, if only a bit at a time~.
2007-09-18 14:50:39 · answer #7 · answered by sonyvet2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear about your bf but you really got to get over it. you should see a doctor or a priest. If you have a bible start reading before you sleep and after you wake up in the morning. But i really advise you to get some help before the situation get out of control. a lot of courage, good luck
2007-09-18 14:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by banks 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to go see a therapist. You will be surprised how well they will help you cope. Grief is a natural part of life but it can take over your life. Just talking to someone will help tremendously. When 4 of my friends (including a girl who I was romantically interested in) was killed in an auto accident when I was in school, they brought in grief counselors and it helped a lot. Look one up in the yellow pages.
2007-09-18 14:50:04 · answer #9 · answered by crazytrain_23_78 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
not really your pain is real and own it cry if you must but dont let it consume you to much. no more shrines. Dont talk to the dead becasue they cannot here you they are in a different place if you want to talk to someone talk to yourself and tell yourself to be strong and to conticue living i dont doubt that he would want you to live to your full potential. Sorry for your loss but its time to live the dead are gone and you must live strong and bright for yourself and those that love you. Good luck and find peace and clarity
2007-09-18 14:49:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋