I'm 19 and almost all my freinds (some even younger) are getting married and having kids, me I'm just going to college and have plans for medical school, oviously I'm def not planning on settling down soon I have my school=career first, I'd like to live the high life with my own money I earn and all the investments I will be making. but anyways I really can't picture myself having a family of my own, but being 30 and coming home to a big fine apt. by myself after a night out. but I already noticed that alot of girls are more of the "soccer-mom" type that was born with that motherly instinct. but me on the other hand. I (including family) noticed I'm more of the carreer-woman type and I really don't seem to have that motherly instict I'm good with kids I know how to talk to them,what to do and I love kids too but I can't be around them all day before they start to irk me. I can't picture me having any of my own.
Is it my age or the type of woman I am attributes?
2007-09-18 13:23:02 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I never seemed to be "motherly" when I was a young either,my family noticed and a friend pointed that out to my mom, saying that my friend is very motherly but I don't seem to have a motherly instict at all, and I like that, but the girls that settle down try to make me out to be some selfish cruella deville. lol
2007-09-18 13:44:34 · update #1
It could be a little of both, your age as well as your attributes however i think it is admirable that you have goals for yourself and that you are trying to achieve those goals.. Just because people around you are making different choices does not mean you have to change yours.. Go to college.... Have your career after that you may then decide you are ready for the family and then again you may not.. It is something you have plenty of time to decide to do or not do.. Don't let others make you feel you should follow what they do..
2007-09-18 13:31:10 · answer #1 · answered by ldyjsmyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 19, you really shouldn't be thinking about this stuff just yet. It's perfectly normal to not have any sort of maternal instinct at this age, because you're still barely more than a child yourself. Whether you eventually grow to want kids or not is pretty unpredictable at this point, and that's completely normal. If your friends are already popping out kids, then there's obviously something wrong with them, not you.
2007-09-18 20:58:18 · answer #2 · answered by Caitlin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it shows a level of maturity on your part. There is nothing wrong with wanting a career.
Just don't close yourself to wanting children. You may change your mind in the future but tell yourself, "I don't want kids." when your heart says differently.
I've known several woman who never wanted the typical family life. I certainly don't think it's right for a woman to get pregnant and have a baby just because everyone else thinks she should have one.
Hopefully you'll have nieces and nephews to spoil rotten or friends' kids when you get the urge to go to the theater to see a Disney movie.
Best of luck in your medical career.
2007-09-18 20:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by sassydontpm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a little of both. You may change your mind when you meet the right man and fall head-over-heels. Regardless, you are smart to wait a bit for the family thing anyway. Too many teenagers are jumping into marriage and/or parenthood without a thought as to who is going to pay the bills or take care of the kids. In general, I am finding too many of today's youth totally unprepared for adulthood yet jumping into very adult situations with no thought for the consequences. I congratulate you on making a wise choice to wait.
2007-09-18 20:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by JD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's both your age and your personality, and don't worry -- it's totally cool. i'm five years older than you, and i feel the same way even after finishing college, living abroad, and having lots of other single girl adventures.
maybe some day when we get older we'll feel like settling down, but today is not that day.
today, let's just do what makes us happy.
(by the way, in a few years, that "friends getting married" thing is going to take off like wild fire. find nice boys you can have adventures with and don't let the rings get you down.)
2007-09-18 20:32:44 · answer #5 · answered by G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is totally up to you whether you want kids or not. it does not make you a bad person. kids arent for everyone..probably better not to have them if you really think you couldnt handle them/dont want them. concentrate on your school and career as you want to..you never know what can happen in your future anyway! you are young and have plenty of time to have kids yet if you ever do. i just had my first at 29, and my two older cousins just had their firsts also.
2007-09-18 21:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by kiss my evie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't matter if it's your age or if it will last ... be true to yourself. Certainly at 19 you're wise to be focusing on school and career. If you're still happy being focused on that when you're older, that's perfectly fine. If you one day decide to have kids, you'll be in a great position to provide a role model and provide for them financially.
2007-09-18 20:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by ... 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its just where you are right now. I never saw myself with children and I ahve 3 and love being a mom. Life changes you in great ways. Dont worry you will do whats best for yoiu when its best for you.
2007-09-18 20:40:23 · answer #8 · answered by I love me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 30 and have no kids and dont plan on having any either! It is normal for you and that is all that matters!
2007-09-18 20:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by Knowledgewise J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was like that - now I am 29 with two sons. People change as they grow, or you might never change how you feel about this and that's OK too...
2007-09-18 22:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by TNEmily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋