Asking For Money Instead Of Gifts?

Question

Im getting married but my fiance and i dont have a house.
We will be staying with my parents after we marry.
We dont have anywhere to put gifts so we were thinking of recommending money as a gift. We dont know how long we will be at my parents house, and we dont want to have to put things in storage.
Are there nice ways to suggest this

Answer 1

There are no nice ways to suggest that, you should be happy that people who care about you are buying you gifts. If you two want a place of your own, you should get it yourself instead of hoping family and friends fund your new place.

If you are going to live with your parents after getting married, you should probably wait to get married until you can afford a place of your own.

Answer 2

If you want to be totally proper about this - don't ask for gifts or money at all. Gifts should never be mentioned in the invitation. Wait for your guests to contact you and ask where you're registered, then say that you didn't register anywhere because you'll still be living with your parents following the wedding until you save up enough money to move out. Let your guests figure it out on their own; don't go so far as to actually explicitly ask for money (or any other gift).

Asking for money makes guests feel like they're only being invited so that they'll give you a gift. You want the focus of your wedding day to be you and your marital happiness, not you and a perceived need/greed.

Answer 3

I think that you should take all of the money that you would be spending on a dress, venue, food, invites, showers, etc.. and use that for a down payment on a house. Elope, or get married, just the 2 of you at the church or justice of the peace.

Then, later, you can have a reception or party to celebrate your nuptials. Register somewhere and let your family and friends give gifts that you will have sentimental meaning around your house.

It sounds kind of lame (above). We are spending all this money to put on a show, but can you all buy me a house? Or at least foot the down payment? Really, that's what you sound like. And why are you staying with your parents after you marry anyway, don't you both have a job? You should be renting a place on your own, and if you need to save money then don't have cell phones, no cable, no eating out, no credit card debt, maybe even no furniture for a while. That's what people do in order to save money to buy a house. They don't ask their friends and family to do it for them.

Really, good luck with getting married. I just really hope you don't focus too much on the material aspect of it all.

Answer 4

The answer remains the same...tacky to ask for money. The best u can do is have a friend or family member pass the suggestion along to those that ask, that money is preferred rather than a gift. Most people give money as a wedding gift anyhow, especially knowing that the couple has everything they need, which I`m sure ur family and friends r aware of.

Answer 5

It is tacky. Do a search for this question. This question is asked about once a week in the Weddings section.

You do not mention gifts at all in an invitation. If you want to spread the word that money is preferred to housewares, you can let your parents and bridal party know. Money dances, wishing wells, and any other contrivances whereby a couple puts their guests on the spot at the wedding and hits them up for an additional cash contribution in addition to the gifts the guests have already purchased -- also tacky. They are guests at a wedding, not patrons attending a gala fundraiser.

Answer 6

It's just not proper to ask for money ever. You will have to find some way to store wedding gifts and be grateful for what people buy for you. Getting married does not allow for rudeness and demands. Anything you receive as a gift is just that and not a request. No one has to give you anything especially if you are being demanding.

Answer 7

theres no polite or tasteful way to ask for cash...at the past few weddings i have gone to most people gave cash gifts,there were just a coule of actual boxes..now a days most people do give cash gifts since its easier then shopping and stuff..and there is no written rule saying people have to give a gift,and you will find that out quickly if you tell people you want cash only

sounds like you have no business getting married if you can not afford a place to live in...cancel the big froo froo wedding,elope and think of all the money you will save

Answer 8

My sister in law put a card with this poem on it in with the invitations:
WISHING WELL
More than just kisses so far we've shared,
Our home has been made with love and care,
Most things we need we've already got,
Like a toaster and kettle, pans and pots,
A wishing Well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
Once we've replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you.

Answer 9

No. If you get gifts, put them to use at your parents' house. Afterall, it's your home now, so why put off using them.? That way you benefit your parents too.

Answer 10

I got an invite to a wedding recently & the couple were in the same situation as you, they had kind of like a gift registry card inside that had a message & bank details for guests to put money in, I cant find the invite now to let you know what it said exactly, but it was sweet message, they asked for it in a polite way & it was great because we wanted to give them something that they wanted!