I put my mom in a nursing home due to her Alzheimers and feel guilty about it every day. She cried and cried and still does. Support groups help, was wondering how other people cope with this situation.
2007-09-18 12:09:47 · 6 answers · asked by Don Drapers woman 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am the caregiver of my mom, 87. who has early alzheimers. She started Aricept and it seems to slow down her loss of abilities, BUT she was still depressed though she was taking some Celexa (anti depressant)- cried and was very touchy/ emotional..... Dr. doubled her dose of anti-depressant and her functioning and mood both improved. I wonder if your mom needs her meds updated......
though i would cry too if i was put in a home- not saying that it was the wrong thing to do- my mom is VERY resistant to taking orders from her daughter- so having an attendant do daily needs in a home might actually be easier for her to accept. I feel for you.
Yes, support group might help. I see one in our local paper here, though have not gone yet. Dont feel guilty- she is probably getting better care than you could give her at home if you could do so. I have to fight with my mom to bathe and take her meds all the time. she calls me her "steamroller." I may have to do the same thing at some point; right now, taking it one day at a time. (and, this is my job as they pay me, or shall i say i pay myself, as i run the whole house now)
I do notice that though mom cannot remember details, she remembers the EMOTION of what happened. visit her often, encourage others in family, church group, friends, etc to visit and be positive and loving. it might make her feel better, to feel someone cares and brighten her day, even if she doesnt know who they are, she might remember the feeling.
Do they allow your mom to have any of her familiar items that might make her feel more at home? pictures of family with names labeled etc, any favorite book, doll, something that she can just hold and not feel so alone? I am going to get my mom a nice baby doll when the time comes. A friend who is a caregiver for her mom too told me her mom recently asked her what her first name was. we are going to both visit both our moms when/ if they have to go in a nursing home. maybe you could find someone else that could visit with your mom if you visited with theirs in the same home. it would be one more visit/love/stimulation. Just an idea. i will look back to see what others have to say, im headed the same direction.GL
2007-09-18 13:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alzheihers requires round the clock care, how many times have you heard about the elderly alzheimers patient who just wandered away from home because they didn't KNOW what they were doing? You are taking care of your mother the best way you can, and sometimes it's just not doABLE to watch them 24/7 all by yourself, especially if you have a life and kids and family to take care of already. Just be sure to visit her often and let her know you haven't abandoned her.
It's OK to feel guilt, just deal and cope with it so that it doesn't drag you down as much as trying to care for your Mom would 24/7, then you are defeating the whole purpose of putting her in a home. Sorry for your Mom and family, this must be very difficult.
2007-09-18 13:16:49 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish that my Aunt could be in a good home. You have to think positively. Placing her in a home was the best decision for her. It is so hard to care for someone with
Alzheimers. They NEED routine. They need a CONSTANT environment. Don't kid yourself into thinking that it was not the best decision. And of course she cried, it is very confusing for her I'm sure. Give her time to settle in and you may find that she likes it VERY well. With routine and constant environment they tend to thrive. I'd be willing to bet she will look forward to certain activities no matter how confused she is. Hang in there.
2007-09-18 12:33:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes i completely agree that it is a hard decision. I work at a couple nursing homes, and my suggestion is just to visit as much a possible, and check up, either calling or visiting. also get to know her care givers on a personal level. dont feel guilty, you did it, so she wont hurt herself with no one around. as long as you visit and keep contact, it will be ok.
2007-09-18 12:47:54 · answer #4 · answered by tml_650 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might think extra responsible if I pretended that I used to be dealing with them at dwelling and that I used to be capable to deal with them. I might decide on to have my mum or dad cross right into a nursing dwelling wherein they are going to be with men and women of a equivalent age and there are gurus who can aid them if they want it. Many of the men and women who cross into nursing properties are quite impartial nonetheless, however lamentably for some thing motive (whether or not or not it's having to deal with their possess babies, or paintings commitments) normally we simply cannot preserve our older family locally in a trustworthy method.
2016-09-05 18:40:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when they are at a lost and can't take care of themselves you hae to do this. they get unruly and mean and that is when you cant' nolonger take care of them she probably doesn't know you any more its God that will take care of her mostly and its sad but that is what happens just pray for her soul and take care she will be released and gone someday soon. i know its hard i had couple of relatives witht hat and its very hard to deal with and helping with one person is very hard but then they are ugly its time to let the professional help with them take care and peace be with you.
2007-09-21 14:44:59 · answer #6 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋