I approve of her relationship, she dated her boyfriend for 1-1/2 years and moved in with him about 6 months ago and they are very happy together. They live about 100 miles from us. My husband on the other hand is ashamed (hasn't told that to her but has told me) and thinks it is an act of desperation -thats how he feels about couples in general who live together without being married. When we were going to visit her for her birthday last week, we had to go to a restaurant instead of having a barbeque at their house, as he was 'uncomfortable' being in her home. I told him to accept it and love her unconditionally but he behaves like a spoiled child about it. I think he is embarrassed that 'someone' may find out... How do I deal with him?
2007-09-18 11:41:37 · 7 answers · asked by Sophiesmama 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like he is more disappointed in her decision. Contrary to what he thought he taught her. He will probably with time become accustom to the situation.It isn't fair to ask him to accept something that is against what he believes in. And the conversation needs to happen between he and his daughter...They need to clear the air to allow the relationship to get back on an even keel.
2007-09-18 11:52:12 · answer #1 · answered by Itsok 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's right about this and has every right to be ashamed. His daughter is "playing house" with some man. She is showing the world that she is unable to wait for someone to commit to her before living with them. She is devalueing herself by living with this guy before marriage.
Respect how he feels and support him... HE is your husband, he should come BEFORE your daughter.... not be second to her.
He can love her unconditionally while still showing her how much he disapproves of what she is doing. You both should avoid her home and doing things there... you do not need to show them that is okay whether you approve of their relationship or not. It's not okay. Your child is selling herself short... I would be talking to her and trying to figure out why she doesn't feel she deserves a man committed to her instead of one who "wants the milk for free".
2007-09-18 12:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask him what he would rather have a daughter who is married and is unhappy or a daughter who lives with her b/f and is happy . I dont think he should have been uncomfortable being in their home and that is just childish and he need to swallow his pride . so what someone should find out? does he think he is the only father that has a daughter that does this ? I bet if he looked around he would find there are alot of men who have daughters who live with their b/f . You need to have him sit down and talk with you about why it bothers him so much . good luck .
2007-09-18 11:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its 2007... what was right when he was younger has changed completely. Who cares?!
I live with my boyfriend of over 4 years... and I wouldnt have it any other way. Things could be so much worse... he should be happy that she's not using drugs rather than worried that she's living with a guy.
Its his daughter... and you're right, he should love her unconditionally.
2007-09-18 11:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by :: Coast.al 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Apparently they were having sex before moving in together so what is the difference. If they don't make it as a couple living together that will only save the time and money from getting a divorce.
2007-09-18 12:02:49 · answer #5 · answered by kakoo35 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him that it is better that they live together before marriage because that way they will learn all their habbits and find out if they are right for each other. Now a days people move in together before marriage. There is NOTHING wrong with it. He needs to grow up. Tell him he either grows up or you are leaving.
2007-09-18 11:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think he's right.
It's your daughter's job to please her father, not the other way around. Let him have his feelings, as you have yours.
2007-09-18 11:49:50 · answer #7 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋