This is something I've been thinking about. I'm 24, single and most of my friends are either married, engaged, or seriously dating someone.
I don't feel ready to get married - not sure if I ever will be. But how do you deal with the sexual frustration of remaining single?
God wants us to remain pure, which seems easier to do if you just have to wait 'x' years. But how do you deal with it while believing you might be single your whole life?
(Serious answers only please.)
2007-09-18 11:24:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I went through this, I ended up making new single friends and not spending much time with my married ones. It got annoying after awhile.
It wasn't much fun dealing with the fact that I may be be single/virgin all of my life (and I went way longer than you have by the way), but it was reality and I had to cope with that fact as best I could. Finally, my single years came to an end, and I'm betting yours will too eventually.
Hang in there.
2007-09-18 11:38:49 · answer #1 · answered by Rossonero NorCal SFECU 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to marry whomever you like, and whenever you like. If that "whenever" is never, that's fine, too. It bugs me that people feel the need to rush others into decisions such as marriage and having children. There's no law stating that you have to do either of those things.
If someone starts pressuring you regarding marriage, give them a polite "No, thank you" sort of response. Be courteous, but explain that you're wanting to make a careful decision in such an important matter, and also that it's your own business when (and if) you decide to marry. If you don't feel ready for marriage, then by all means, don't get married just because of peer and family pressure.
2007-09-18 18:40:35 · answer #2 · answered by solarius 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are 24 and worried?? I am 31 and have never been married. I am looking, but have never found that "one". Life with the wrong person is worse than life never finding the right one! God put you here for a purpose, and there is so much more for you to contribute than just to be married; that will only be a small part of who you are/become. You deal with it because it is good and right. There is only one time you can give yourself as a gift, save it for the one that deserves it, not for the one that pants the loudest!
2007-09-18 23:53:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Most people want to marry and have children. That's a good thing but remaining single is just as good. Don't be pressured by anyone to do anything differently. You're fine just the way you are.
2007-09-18 18:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by tbolt63 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Paul wrote that "all men should be like him and not know a women" he went on to say that this is not for everyone though. The temptation will always be there to sin, but if you can overcome it you will have a closer walk with god. To be a good christian man, if you take a wife there are biblical laws that you have to abide by to full fill her needs. By not taking a wife you can use that time to get closer to god. But if you ever feel you will not make it it is better to marry then give in to lust.
2007-09-18 18:38:11 · answer #5 · answered by TIMOTHY R 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
living it right now..... i understand fully what you're going through and it is NOT easy!! while i've faultered, i just pick myself back up and with God's help - so far so good. there are times when the "urge" is strong and things are really challenging -- i start praying or remembering that God see's all or humming that tune - God is watching us, God is watching us.... Gd is watching us from a distance - it helps. cold showers also work wonders. don't worry about the marriage - people are going to push. i just tell them -- God's working in the perfect person and since i'm so totally wonderful - it's taking HIm longer to complete him LOL i have a friend at work - she was going into her second marriage as was her (now) husband. they both had children from their other marriages - one each. they are both stunning - i mean STUNNING!! for 2 years they dated, were engaged AND did not sleep together - they waited for their wedding night! i asked her and she too said - it was hard - VERY hard and it meant times of walking away from each other, taking cold showers and even leaving and walking around the block. one thing though - they both agree it was totally worth the wait. they have a strong relationship and there are no fears of "what happens if there can't be anymore sex". seriously - there can be injuries, age or whatever. i see it witih my folks - due to physical challenges - there is no sex. i've actually taalked with my dad about it and you know - he said he gets more pleasure just walking along holding hands or cuddling and caring for my mom - becuase he knows that is what can please her now. sex is a bi-product of a strong, committed, loving relationship.
i won't lie - you will be lonely and feel rather despondant -- don't let it get you too down -- God is with you and He will show you before it gets too bad.
stay strong!!!
2007-09-18 18:34:14 · answer #6 · answered by Marysia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you ever figure that out, please let me know!
(I'm 30 and I don't feel ready either)
I am thinking I want to be a nun. Right now I am not a nun, but when and if God makes a way for me to accept holy orders, then that is what i want. (for one thing, i'm not catholic... as yet, but I will accept His guidance). The thrill of getting to serve Jesus is much stronger for me than "sexual desire" Being preoccupied with Him and His service, gives me the greatest fulfillment and joy.
Sometimes I think it is selfish, wanting to do my own will like this and persuing my own joy and fulfillment, but I am letting God guide me and I know He is sending me into the right path. You might want to think about this also... if you do accept holy orders, then others will see that you have accepted the vows and it will send a silent message: " I do not plan on marrying" or "I have given myself to Christ" and so, because of this no one will try to push marriage on you.
If you have trouble with your "sexual tension" however, then talk to God about it, maybe He has a solution for you... maybe He is drawing you to deeper desires than those, OR it could mean that He has a spouse for you soon...
+ May the peace of Christ be with you...
2007-09-18 18:53:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... Good question. In my opinion Allah has made soulmates for every human being. You might get meet your soulmate when you least expect it. Just ignore those who are pushing you, and be content with your life while your single. Hopefully you'd be ready to get married only after you've found your soulmate.
2007-09-18 18:34:36 · answer #8 · answered by Green Phantom 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what you mean by "pure" but if there is a god, it certainly wants you to have a sex life. If you are male, the best prophylactic against prostate cancer is a regular sex life. It matters not whether it is by yourself or with a partner. If sexual intercourse outside marriage is not allowed by your religion, the hands-on approach to beat prostate cancer is for you. No god is going to give you an easy and fun way to avoid a nasty disease and then make it a sin. It would be a spiteful and capricious god that did.
2007-09-18 18:34:56 · answer #9 · answered by tentofield 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Well, first and foremost, the people "pushing marriage" are NOT being biblical.
Paul goes so far to say that a person SHOULD remain single, but that people who do marry "do not sin"!
If I were you, I would read, re-read, study, and meditate on 1 Corinthians, chapter 7. If other Christians are "pressuring you" or exalting marriage so much, I would confront them with the words in 1 Corinthians 7!
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I was an atheist and sat down to read the Bible to prove it wrong in college...had always planned on and desired to get married...and became a Christian. I still planned on and desired to get married for many years until I started going on mission trips and God "really got a hold of me", so to speak. I was FILLED with a desire and hunger to read and study and teach and preach His Word...so much so, that this desire overwhelmed ANY desire for marriage and sex!
Yet, before this, during this, after this...and even until this day...I have struggled, fought, and warred with sexual lust.
I find myself battling sexual lust the way Paul describes his struggles in Romans 7 (and you REALLY need to read, re-read, study, and meditate on Romans 7 and 8)!!!
Even so, I was committed to stay single, based on 1 Corinthians, chapter 7...and NO Christian could prove this a "wrong decision", but rather learned to respect it. Of course, "younger" or "immature" or "falsely-professing" Christians could not wrap their minds around my passion for God excelling my desire to get married...and they could not conceive of a person choosing not to get married...or even being "fulfilled" or "satisfied" or "happy" without marriage! Such is the idol sex and marriage has become!!!
YET...as I continued in my walk with Christ, even feeling "blessed with the gift of celebacy" for years, as some said...I found deep within me...a non-sinful desire, and burning passion for the intimacy of marriage, including (but of course, not at ALL limited to) the act sex. Although the lusting and coveting I had at times was evil and sinful, there was within me, a God given desire to marry.
After MUCH prayer and consideration, I came the conclusion that either I was not blessed with the gift of celibacy...or it was only a temporary grace from God.
Much later, God brought a woman who feared God into my life, as if to say, "what about her?". After much more prayer and consideration, I made a choice to pursue her. We "courted" or "dated" with the initial assumption that this would lead to getting married and committed stop immediately if we felt God was no longer leading us both individually and together to such a committment before Him. And later, we got married...and our first kiss was on the altar.
I testify that marital sex is absolutely amazing - a union of bodies and souls in a very emotional and spiritual manner of becoming one. There is no greater physical gift that represents the union we have with God through Jesus Christ...and glory of heaven, in which we will be one with God!
I will also testify that my desire for marriage WAS fulfilled in marriage, but will also testify that the battle of sexual lust is not yet over (as many "warned" me about...not to assume or to hope that marriage was a "solution" to sin, as only grace through faith in Jesus Christ is the "solution").
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If you battle with the "sexual frustration of remaining single"...there are 2 choices for you:
1) Pray that God take away such a desire (especially if it is an evil and sinful desire). And fight this battle until won, Jesus comes again, or you die and go to heaven finally free of ALL sin.
2) Pray that God provide a means to satisfy such a desire, i.e. through marriage (especially if He is the author of that desire). And then trust in God to provide in His perfect timing. Be patient, and in the meantime pursue God will ALL of your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Being single, you can do this...for you have NO cooncerns about the affairs of the world and how you can please your wife. Perhaps your relationship with Him needs to mature before He feels ready to bless you with a wife...and the more mature you are in Christ, the better the wife and marriage!
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But let NO ONE condemn you for remaining single!
While it is GOOD to remain single, yet getting married is NOT a sin. And it is BETTER to marry than to burn with passion. (See 1 Corithians 7:1-9 )
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"Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."
-1 Corinthians 7:27-28
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Grace and peace in Christ!
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2007-09-18 18:49:10 · answer #10 · answered by yachadhoo 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋