He has commitment problems & I have trust issues. Be we love each other?

Question

I had his voicemail password throughout our entire 8month relationship. So we argued a lot because I constantly saw that he was involved with no good females. but he never knew how i would find out about them. It was females that he's been involved with sexually in the past. and if we would break up for a few days, he would go have sex with them again. So, we were broke up for about 2 months, and i finally told him my secret and got it off my chest that i've had access to his call records all along. Now we're trying to work things out. he tells me he's no longer involved w/ those girls, but he still is! I know this because I still have ACCESS! Do I tell him I invaded his privacy AGAIN? or just leave him alone? I know I'm wrong here, but I love him and I want things to work out. why is it so hard for him to leave this females alone? I do so much more for him than those girls. and he tells me he loves me, but...He just lied today and said he doesnt talk to them, But he called them 2day

he did not give me his password. I guessed it. and he thinks I no longer have access.

Answer 1

if you cant trust him then end it. give some other guy who you can trust your love. some guy that wont go behind your back and be completely honest with you.

Answer 2

OK you got what you where loOKing for...love I don't think it's what you want to call it. Because love is respect and you both are lacking on it. You have his access code for his phone you listen to all his messages and now you find out his been with some girls, ok. He cheats on you, that alone should tell you to move on and let him go. This is not a healthy relationship at all.

Answer 3

You can't truly love someone that you can't trust. If you love him, let him go. If he comes back to you, it was meant to be. If not, he was never yours to begin with. You may love him, but invading his privacy is not a loving act. It's controlling. He has a right to his privacy like you do. If you can't trust him (and it sounds like he's not being trustworthy) then let him go and find someone you doesn't lie to you left and right. Trust and honesty are the foundation to any kind of relationship. You and he have neither, therefore a relationship will not last.

Answer 4

Sounds to me like both of you would be bad for anyone. True love involves trust and commitment that is basic don't try to change others try to make a change in yourself I think that you will find that you will attract better prospects.

Answer 5

hes a womanizer. if its easy for him to go out & have sex with these chicks after you all just broke up, maybe its not meant to be. i know you say you love him, but is this how you want to be treated? you always having to check his voicemails and maybe even tap into his email to see what kind of girls are emailing him next! if you mean alot to him, he should stop. you need to break up with him and tell him that you still dont trust him and if he hands you a bullsh/t line about how hes faithful, throw the fact that you still know his password and have access to his stuff, tell him you did it because he did you wrong once and you were afraid it would happen again and it did. tell him he needs to make a choice, to either be a one woman man -or- single.

it was wrong of you to tap into his access the first time, but its a good thing you did, i dont know what your intentions where the first time, maybe you felt like he was seeing other women flirting or something so you did it or not, but you need to sit down and explain those things to him. i would give my boyfriend my passwords to everything in a heartbeat if he asked, sure id feel like he didnt trust me, but i have nothing to hide and i want him to trust me so by giving my pw to him id feel like he'd see im faithful and he'd rest easy, something your bf should do for you.

dump him and give him a choice. but ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with this guy, if your willing to take the risk of 'will he ever change' or not, but let me tell you, ive seen many of my friends go through this and only one guy changed b/c she broke up with him (for a year!) she left & started seeing other ppl and then one night at my house she called him (for the first time since they broke up) and he goes "manfa, im going to marry that girl one day" and well guess what, they've been together for 4 years since then & are getting married soon :) hes completely open with her now, hasnt cheated, stays connected at her hip, he says that during that year he got to be with alot of other ppl but none of them where like her and he was to full of himself to call her (maybe its where they were together for three years before they broke up & they were very young, who knows but the break up did them both good now they're forsure they love each other!)

Answer 6

You have bigger pressing issues that don't concern your relationship with him. I would start by trying to figure out why you feel the need to break into his stuff, and then maybe you can try and figure out how you two can work.

Answer 7

THERE IS NO TRUST! ITS OVER! sorry but it is. i went through the same thing. we didnt trust eachother and tried to work it out but it just turned into a mess of hidden secrets and no trust. its a mess and you just need to let it go. theres no good answer for this one and im sorry. good luck.