Can it ever work with an ex???

Question

I went out with someone for 3 years, from when I was 17 till when i was 20. Now im 22, and i saw him again for the first time in 1 and a half years. he wants to give things aother go but im not sure.

See, it was him who dumped me, and I was a total mess for a year, and i never really got over him. But maybe thats because it really was true love.

I never really understood the reasons he dumped me, we had been arguing a lot, and we were both going through our own problems, I was mildly depressed for reasons unrelated to him, and he was messed up, stressed and had money problems. We dont have those problems anymore, but my friends keep saying that really we should have been able to lean on each other during our hard times.

Answer 1

ex's are ex's for a reason

Answer 2

I agree with your friends 1,000% percent. I been with my husband for the past 3 years, and let me tell you he is not letting me go....EVEN WHEN I SCREW UP! maybe part of that was inmaturity....or a better fling(at the time) I can't tell you dont go back with him because you may end up missing your one true love, but be cautious..if you were messed up for a whole year after he dumped you before, you really need to watch out and dont fal in the same pitfall again.
Sometimes it works out, and some just dont' that's all am saying and so keep it in mind. If you don't risk you don't win, just be carefull in the amount of time and emotions you are risking...take it slow and analyze the situation.

Answer 3

i have a tendency to keep going back to ex's..... and it never works, you could give it a go but be careful because you could end up more hurt. I always used to go back to my ex's but the same problems occur and the same fights etc etc... i was seein a guy 2 years ago and it wasnt for long but we had a great time together... he took me out and made me happy but he's got a kid and his ex wanted him back, he wanted to do the best for his kid so we split and i didnt see or hear from him for 2 years.... last year i moved to turkey for a year and came back cus ov an accident but on the day i was flying back he sent me an e-mail after 2 years... since i've been back he's been over a few times and i was out with hm last night .. i still love being with him and i get wound up if he doesnt text but i dont think i can trust him.... to him its nothing serious and we arent in a relationship, unfortunately i got attached to him again so its hard but if you still love this guy its probably not worth the heartbreak again. I know i should never have started seeing him again but too late now. hopefully you wont make the same mistake but its up to you and only you..... best of luck to ya. x

Answer 4

Can it ever work? I think there is a possibility. The real question I think is different. Should I pursue relationship with my ex vs. trying to meet someone new. That question is more difficult to answer because we do not know the details of your breakup and the pattern of your relationship with your ex.
I think the most important thing for you to ask your ex now is why he wants to give the relationship another try. What is he going to do different this time? Did he realize that he lots something precious when he broke up with you or was it that he needs a booty call?
Just remember, he can easily break your heart one more time!

Answer 5

I was in the same situation, with him for 3 years, broke up, tried again after 3 years and it didn't last more than a year. But you never know. That was the only time I went out with an ex. For me, when its over its over.

Answer 6

I would be the one to set the stage this time...you have to find out first why he dumped you...secondly..if he has the pattern of doing this he is sure to so it again,..find out who he has been involved with and see if he dumped them..I wouldnt do it especially since you say you were broken harted for so long..He didnt care last time and probably wont this time...good luck but keep the brakes on for sure

Answer 7

If you don't mind getting all lovey with him for a few years again, and then get dumped (or divorced) again, then go for it. There will always be problems, money, kids, friends, etc. If you two couldn't handle them the first time, there is no guarantee you can be better this time around. The odds are, he is interested now for only one reason. Once he gets that, he may dump you again.

I'd avoid it, if I were you.

Answer 8

Maybe your friends would be right IF you weren't 17(ish) at the time.....I'm sure you can admit that you were both more immature at that age. The younger people are, they tend to take things all inside without sharing with their significant other so much for "support" puposes. It can't hurt to try. Just tell him that you'll go out with him but it's NOT just with him....that you may see other people....that you want to take it slow. People don't always change so much BUT they do GROW UP.

Answer 9

Honey I recently broke up with my ex three months ago and we also dated for three years. I broke up with him for the same reasons you all broke up and I have absolutely no feelings for him. So why the hell not if you still have feelings for him!!! give it a shot, and don't worry about what anyone says. If it doesn't work out well now you'll have some closure. Go girl!!!!!!!! Good Luck

Answer 10

Don't go through it again. What if in 3 years and 2 kids later he wants to split again?

Answer 11

if u went back with him, and he broke it off again with u after u fell back in love would u be able to let go easily or would it totally emotionally destroy u? yes u should have been able to deal with those kinds of problems, because they are everyday kind of things. just remember the things that broke it up and learn from it.