he is always staying home we dont live together saying he is sick and stuff sometimes not working for weeks and when it comes to looking for a job he just does not find one ever !!!
he is always broke and never really has any money and i hate this because we cant do fun things he is always driveing his car with out gas or asking me if i have twenty bucks when we go out and he never pays me back i love him i am making an effort to getting used to his ugly car and the fact that he cant take me out but this sucks am suffering!!!!!!
we been together for 1 1/2 years
2007-09-18 09:22:45 · 53 answers · asked by *********** 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he is 19 now and does not go to collage i try to encurage him to but does not want to
2007-09-18 09:30:32 · update #1
i just love him so much but he is always depressed after his accident he just gained weight and hates life and he says that he loves me
2007-09-18 09:39:02 · update #2
Well, if he is a full time college student then he is focusing on his career that may be excusable. If he is not, and he just doesn't want to work......look out!! How old is he and does he still live at home??
2007-09-18 09:26:58 · answer #1 · answered by rachel_ksr 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want to waste your life with a lazy boy....he is not a man if he will not work and pay for his own bills.
Find a young man who is gainfully employed and takes you on a date where you do not have to pay for the gas for the vehicle. How does he take you on a date, if he is not paying for anything....?
Stand up and have some self-respect for yourself, do you really want to be tied to this loser the rest of your life? You will be the one who holds the job or jobs and pays the bills while he is home sick....sick of being lazy, maybe.
He is either suffering from depression, or he is just a lazy bum. You are not together, he is using you as a bank account and a girlfriend. What does he give you in return...
I bet your parents think a lot of him....not....this will not change.
Respect, love, appreciation....I think not.
Move on, girl before you ruin your life.
Edit: Do not let him use the excuse that he is depressed since having an accident, even though that may be somewhat true....it is an excuse.
I know several people who have been wheelchair bound all of their lives or have lost limbs fighting in war and they hold down jobs with no problem.
I wish you the best.
2007-09-18 09:45:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a sensitive and tough situation. He sounds depressed and it sounds like he could use a little bit of encouragement and inspiration. I think he does love you in his own way but with him not being happy with his life, he can't possible make you happy. You will only be miserable. It's normal for you to want him to take you out and have a good job. Although money isn't everything, you can't live without it. I know this would be hard for you but I think you need to tell him (in a very nice way of course) that he needs to get his life together or you will be forced to leave. Maybe you should give him some time to sort things through his life. Or if you feel like you can help him, then offer to take him to apply for jobs. Get a membership at the gym and ask him to join you. Stop giving him money because you are only encouraging the unhealthy behavior and it's enabling him. You know him best so I know you will do what's best. Good luck.
2007-09-19 07:08:23 · answer #3 · answered by Shelley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You love him? What do you love about him? What does he do that is special? (plays music, works out, arranges flowers - ANYTHING)? And - is there any chance that he could make a career for himself doing what he loves (and what you might love about him)? If not - it is time to RUN - because he is not using any of his talents. We ALL have talents. If he thinks his talent is staying home from work pretending to be sick - well - is THAT who you want as a boyfriend?
It's fine if he has an old car and little money because he's trying to make it as an artist - or doesn't find materialistic things important and would rather spend his time and energy building houses for humanity or something. But if he's just lazy - well - why are you hanging around?
If he's lazy now - the chances that he'll be that way for the rest of his life a quite good. AND - if he has somebody like you who "loves him" and allows him to sit on his butt and then gives him $20.00 for gas - well - then the chances that he'll be like that for the rest of his life are VERY HIGH!
2007-09-18 09:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by liddabet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time for a new man. Most likely he will be like this forever. It would help to know his age. People usually have their work ethic by the time they are adults.Unless you would like the rest of your life to be like this get out now. You have already wasted enough time on a man that does not even have the decency to pay you back. It is a good thing that you don't live together or you would always be stressed about getting the bills paid. You don't need a dependent you need a man. Run girl.
2007-09-18 09:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what you love him, you can love a guy that does work and has money to take you out! I don't understand what is wrong with you girls, that you are willing to put up with these jerk guys only because YOU love them. What about THEM loving you? You make your choices in life. So far you have chosen to support this guy and suffer, if you don't like it then only YOU can change it. You can't change HIM, you can change the situation by kicking the bum to the curb and finding someone that respects himself and you!!! You've already wasted 1 1/2 years on this guy, how much more of your life are you willing to waste?
2007-09-18 09:31:10 · answer #6 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the only reason he's with you is because he knows you'll pay for everything and put up with his crap. Dump him and find someone better.
After reading your additional details...
2 days ago
he is 19 now and does not go to collage i try to encurage him to but does not want to
2 days ago
i just love him so much but he is always depressed after his accident he just gained weight and hates life and he says that he loves me
If he doesn't want to better himself, that's his own fault. Being happy is a choice. If he doesn't want to do things that make him happy, there's nothing you can do. You say you love him, but I can promise you eventually you'll get tired of this crap, and I can see you are starting to, and thankfully you haven't married him yet, and you'll eventually not be in love with him anymore. But no more letting him take advantage of you. He doesn't want to go to college, so no more bringing it up. As far as finding a job, he needs to get off his hind end and find one and KEEP one. He's not marriage material. You do deserve better. Tell him he has one week to straighten up or you are gone. He can find a job at McDonald's or someplace in that time. And no more contacting him, no replying to him except to tell him not to contact you again.
2007-09-18 09:26:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Looks like he is one lazy bum... Push him to get a job, You seriously don't need this in your life, if he ain't goin to work now, then he ain't ever goin to work if you ever plan on marrying this fool.. dump him! There are tons of jobs out there that could be for him... Find out what he likes to do and have him find a job that does that.. If he doesn't do it, then seriously dump him.. 1 1/2 years is enough for that kinda ****! you deserve someone soo much better!
2007-09-18 09:28:34 · answer #8 · answered by Sublime Chick™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to take sides, but, Been there, Done that. Just because he hates to work (I hate my job, but that's because of who I work with and not what I do), it's just takes time to find something he likes doing. Of course, I'm also assuming that you are either pre-twenties or early twenties.
Anyways, encourage him to find a profession that he likes and to pursue that. If after some time of "pursuading" on your part, nothing materializes and he continues on this path - LEAVE HIM as he is a bum and will amount to nothing.
2007-09-18 09:30:48 · answer #9 · answered by Timeflo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave now, while you are still able. You don't have any financial ties to him or kids. it will only get worse! I have a brother like that..he sits around, complains, then spends up all his constantly changing girlfriends money. He is 38 and been doing that since he was out of high school...I know it hard but you have to think about your future.
2007-09-18 09:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by solomonfever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes dear I am sorry but break free now ! I am 47 and that is how people are. What we are when we are young usually is carried with us through life ! Some can change but only if they see the need too ! Usually they do not !
2007-09-18 09:56:27 · answer #11 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋