Hi everyone, I'm in a dilemma with one of my friends. He was a love interest at one point but recently, not anymore. We attend the same college and he is 2 years older than me. We are also in the same class. Whenever we have that class, we meet an hour earlier before the class starts at the cafe since we both are free at that time. For the past two times, he's been coming 15-27 minutes late. The first time this happened, I called him up and asked him where he was. He was being vague about his location and told me "I might go to the cafe later." Because I didn't like the uncertainty of the word "might", I went to the library. When he went to the cafe (15 minutes later), he called me up when he didnt see me and we met up. Yesterday, he wasn't at the cafe and I didn't bother to call him. Afterall, if he wanted to show up, he would show up, right? He didn't show up for 27 minutes and I didn't receive a phone call. Later on, he called me "impatient" and bitched about life. Any thoughts?
2007-09-18 08:44:25 · 17 answers · asked by cellie_mania 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The reason why he isnt a love interest anymore is because he brings a significant amount of negativity to my life. I acually cried in front of him when he was going all "I hate living here.I hate the people here." one time. I try to help him and he keeps pushing me away. He tells me it wont work out relationship wise and I respect that. But he compares himself to a male friend I admire alot (that guy got me out of depression) , and I hate knowing he does this.
2007-09-18 08:54:50 · update #1
You certainly love him cuz you count MINUTE he didn't show up. He did show up, so he didn't forget about you. Guys don't like clingy especially at the beginning. You need to give him space first. The more you let go of him, the easier it is for yourself. He may come back to ask where you were instead.
2007-09-18 08:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Carborane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say he is probably trying to hook up with another girl and can only meet her during the time he is to meet you at the cafe. And the fact that he doesn't really know how to approach her or she is making up excuses about not wanting to be with him has him frustrated. Now as for you calling him like that, the chick or whoever he was with probably thought he was coming onto her and has a gf. So she got annoyed at him and isn't talking to him. So in return he is taking it out on you.
I don't really know if he was sharing the mutal love interest feelings for you or not. But either way, it just seems like he does have a interest with someone else and he doesn't like the fact that his female friend is bugging him and messing things up with him. I suggest you let him calm down a bit and then ask him what is going on.
2007-09-18 16:14:28 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't put Mature Individuals as your heading... It only calls out to the immature people...
Secondly...
You should pal up with someone else. If this is the same person you've asked questions about before, it seems like he is mentally unstable. You don't need that hassle or work in your life.
I have a friend who I used to call all the time, but she would never call me. I decided to call other people. Well, 2 weeks went be and she finally called me. I just decided that our friendship is drifting apart. It happens. Sometimes people are in your life for a short time for one reason or another or a lesson to learn. Don't fret about what's on his mind. You just put effort into your mind and your life. You are worth more than what this "friend" is giving you.
Stay strong.
2007-09-18 15:57:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you aren't going to be able to meet anymore that something has come up and if he gets upset, tell him the truth...that you waited for him and now twice he was really late and didn't bother to call you and tell you, so you figured he was busy with something else. Therefore you've made other plans for that hour. Then go to the library or something. If you two meet up once in awhile that would be fine but don't look like you're at his disposal anytime, or he will treat you badly and inconsiderately continuously.
2007-09-18 15:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by shello 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy just doesn't want to be tied down. For whatever reason, he isn't interested in meeting you before class. Your best bet is to stop asking, stop calling, and just go about your business. You might actually meet a guy who does what he says. This one sounds flaky and I hate to see you getting involved with someone like this at your age. Let him go. Don't expect anything out of him anymore and he'll feel free, which I think he wants to feel anyway.
2007-09-18 15:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by Aiden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow u need to just forget about this jerk. you made it obvious enough that you had interest in him by showing up to the cafe on time, yet he stood you up basically. I'll tell you now that if a girl (in this case you) has the common courtesy to show up on time or even early to a meeting between two individuals especially if i knew the girl liked me, i would have the respect for her to show up on time whether i liked her the same way or not. It sounds like he's very self-centered.
2007-09-18 15:57:58 · answer #6 · answered by FutureFederer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is no longer a love interest anymore then the two of you are just friends now it sounds like to me. Maybe he thinks you found a different network of friends, but don't take it personally if he chooses to complain about life..who knows, maybe he just woke up and realized he's in college.
2007-09-18 15:54:11 · answer #7 · answered by rizing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make meeting at the cafe an issue. Just don't waste your time waiting on him anymore. it seems he is on his own time schedule and doesn't want to be pressured. maybe he didn't intend to meet all the time, just once in a while. give him space and go your own way and find a more trustworthy friend you can depend on.
2007-09-18 15:52:29 · answer #8 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away and that applies in many different ways in life. If he is causing you grief then just stop setting up times to hang out with him and maybe you will see how much he needs you. Of course if it's an emergency your there for him, but don't put too much of yourself into one person.
2007-09-18 16:54:08 · answer #9 · answered by Balrog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why is he not a love interest anymore? it sounds to me as if you still like the guy but have "changed your mind" becuase he isn't meeting you at the normal time. as a friend, i would just ask him what is up. he could have stress in his life right now that is more important that you. a family member ill, having trouble in another class. just ask him about it and see if he is willing to open up.
2007-09-18 15:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋