After deep soul searching and intense commune with Christ, in addition to therapy and spiritual counselling to address my sexuality and my parents spending a lot of money on therapy, I still am not attracted to girls and I still get crushes on boys without even meaning to. I am still a virgin but I do want to fall in love and have someone to spend my life with one day. Something tells me, this will never happen with a girl. I have inflicted all kinds of emotional and mental scars upon myself because I was told, "With God all things are possible." and I truly felt I was not becoming heterosexual because I was stubborn or lacked faith or was unworthy. Now I am not so sure. My little cousin has a degenerative nerve disease. She and her parents prayed to God to heal her many times. Just like in my case, it's not that I doubt God CAN heal her, but whether or not it is not just God's plan for her. I wonder what is God's plan for me, why am I the way I am.
Can anyone relate to this?
2007-09-18 08:14:20 · 40 answers · asked by Tyler T 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I can't say I know how you feel exactly - I am not gay. But I was raised as a christian. They told me there was something wrong with me because of the way I felt. There was nothing wrong with me and there is nothing wrong with you.
You were made gay - whether you believe god made you or you don't is irrelevant. There is nothing to "cure". I sincerely hope that you can get past their narrow mindedness and have a very happy life. I hope that you can find the strength to surround yourself with positive, loving people. More than anything, I hope you realise that this is who you are and love yourself for it.
2007-09-18 08:41:17 · answer #1 · answered by Nea 5 · 8⤊ 1⤋
If you have really been subjected to the sick, twisted pyschological attack known as "homosexuality therapy", then I recomend looking into humanistic psychology and trying some of their mental exercises. That "therapy" consists of negative reinforcement that is designed to throw the victim into a downwards spiral of self-hatred, guilt, and depression. It causes lasting psychological damage that should be repaired. If you can find a tolerant, loving minister or priest to help you heal, that would be for the best, but if not, then you should try to book an apointment with a psychiatrist...
I have never personally been subjected to it, but I have studied it during courses in psychology, and the fact that people can be so sick and cruel is mind-boggling to me. Be who you are, love is never a sin...
Edit: I feel the need to respond to Majnuun's tirade.
A. Being gay is not the same as bestiality, pedophilia, and incest. Homosexuality is a consensual relationship between two adults. Animals cannot consent, and children are not emotionally mature enough to do so. Incest is wrong because it can result in birth defects, effecting a third party (The child of the couple). Since homosexual relationships are consensual and do not effect any third parties, it is completely illogical to compare them to any of these. Torturing someone has nothing to do with someones physio-chemical make up, and the fact that you would compare the urge to torture someone to the urge for commsumate love proves how ignorant of biology and psychology you are.
B. This argument is just empty assertion, it does not prove anything. Stating something does not make it a fact, no matter how many times you repeat it. The definition of "Good Person" is completely subjective
C. Limits of nature? Biologists have observed homosexual pair bonding in over 300 animal species. What is "unnatural" about homosexuality? How is homosexuality in any way disrespectful towards life and society?
I don't usually do this, but the fact that you are telling a young boy that something which is hardwired into his endocrine system is wrong prompted me to respond...
2007-09-18 09:08:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am not Christian but I think I could relate to some extent. I was in the same situation as you. I had spent countless nights praying that God change me. My parents sent to get me to a counselor also to get me fixed. But it did not work. I eventually came to realize that maybe God wanted me to be this way, and that there was nothing to "fix" here. I haven't felt better about my self since. Actually I have become much more religious than before. Earlier I felt "dirty" while praying. But I hadn't done any thing to begin with. I hadn't done any thing wrong, but I was still made to feel bad about myself. One day I just decided to not go with it any more. I was going to be my own person and live the life I was given by God.
Remember that you are the one who is going to live the life, no one else. All those people who say it is a choice. and all that, they don't have the slightest clue of what it is like to be gay. As for people who always try to put you down, just don't let them get to ya.
Best of Luck!
2007-09-18 09:11:26 · answer #3 · answered by S I 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know I am not religious but I can respect that you are.
As such, I'm sure you are aware that there are many branches of Christianity. And for every branch that says its wrong to be gay, there's another that say...hey it's ok.
I know you love your parents...but at this point in your life I'm sure you have realized that parents are not always right.
At the end of the day all you have is yourself. Your parents will grow old and die. You deserve to be happy and lead a fulfilling life.
Please start by contacting PFLAG.
I have a 7 year old daughter and I already know I dont care if shes gay straight or bi when she grows up. What matters is shes happy, healthy, and can stand on her own two feet.
2007-09-18 09:10:55 · answer #4 · answered by chickey_soup 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are far, far from alone, little brother.
I firmly believe homosexuality is part of God's (or Nature's) plan. For those who proclaim reproduction to be the be-all, end-all of existence, I point to the ants and the bees, which have survived for millennia with only the queen reproducing while the rest of the colony go about their valuable tasks.
I also point out that the Bible was written by heterosexual men, who may or may not have written in their own biases, but in any event, the injunctions against homosexual acts only appear a few times in entire Bible and had no more significance under Mosaic law than growing different crops in adjacent fields or wearing clothes made of different threads (like a nice cotton-poly blend?). And Christ Himself said nothing about it. No, wait He did: He said, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."
Only God know what is in our hearts. It is not for man to judge.
Matthew 7:16: "By their fruits ye shall know them." Note that it does not say "by whom they love."
2007-09-18 09:08:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Dark and Light can not abide together according to my Bible So try your hardest to repent and turn from it.
Your a virgin for a reason. You know in the depths of your heart and mind its not of God. Have you read Galations 5?
All the things on that list WILL NOT inherit the Kingdom of God.
I know If you trust in God He will Pull you out of it. I had to be delivered from ALOT!! ( I was not raised with a Christian family that prayed for me) I have to be held accountable so for me to pat you on the back and say its okay then I will answer to that. The others are absolutely correct and its Not bashing you,Sin is sin we reject or accept the truth,
God Help us ALL!!
God loves each of us but if we can't put our sin aside then we will not get the fullness of life He created us to have. I hope you will be strong in this and turn to the One that is the only judge,He knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts.
You will Be in Our prayers this is not a light subject for believers and Non.
"May the Lord Bless You and Keep You & May His Face Shine Upon You"
† Every Day Prayer Warrior †
2007-09-18 10:53:47 · answer #6 · answered by Bobbie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I cannot relate to you in the homosexual way but, as a Christian, I can relate to your struggle!
I want you to know that it is a sin to sleep with the same sex! God does not favor this and destroyed two cities because of their sexually perversions.
It more seems to me that this is far more a spiritual battle for you than an actual lustful thing. At least, that is what I got from your question. In as much, through seeking God, in prayer and reading His word, you will be shown much as God desires you to understand His truths...not the ways of this very sinful world!
Seek HIM! You will find Him and He will lead you in all things! I too will be praying for God to intervene on your behalf!
I wish you the best and know you are not alone as God is with you and so are my prayers!
2007-09-18 09:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be who you are.....God loves you no matter your sexuality. This is what really upsets me,I was married to a very mentally ill man and he would not take his meds because he thought God would heal him,he ended up almost killing me.Forget "gods plan" and be who you are and love it,because you are just hurting yourself denying it. If it makes you feel better make a payment plan and give your parents there money back. But they should just be loving you just as you are,not trying to change you!
2007-09-18 08:59:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I am not gay, but have friends and family who are.
In my opinion, you can no more "cure" being gay than you can "decide" not to be straight.
Please accept yourself like you are and know that most people accept you the way you are.
Contact your local GLAD orginization to find support for people who have been through what you are going through now.
Hopefully your parents will learn to accept this, too.
You are not alone. There have been gay people since the beginning of time. God loves and accepts you exactly as you are.
2007-09-18 09:03:59 · answer #9 · answered by maxmom 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I can, been there, know what you mean. It is hell, and it doesn't get better. You must make your choice, your attraction will most likly never change. But you are not an animal. You are human. One thing that sits humans apart is the ability to want to do something, but still refrain from doing so. You can, it is up to you, you will never be happy or forgive yourself if you do.
2007-09-18 08:31:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋