Should we help those who shunned us?

Question

We were shunned by our entire families. Now they want our help. Should we help those who didn't help us?

Answer 1

They shunned you but expect your help afterward, I'd say they are users and need to be shunned right back.


Family does not have to be blood related. Just because you were born under the same last name does not mean that you have to even acknowledge the fact that they breath.

A true family is all the people around you that you hold dear to you, blood related or not.

Answer 2

That's a tough one. Some people will use your being the bigger person to be better people themselves. If this happens everyone wins. Others will just use you and continue to shun you. Knowing the specifics would help, but I would say, if you can be the bigger person and help them anyway, you are certainly a better person than I because I know I'd have a hard time with that and would probably be happy to see them in a jam.

Answer 3

I know how you feel. The fact is only you can answer this question to your satisfaction .

Personally I have a female sibling that I wouldn't urinate on if she was on fire. My distaste for the woman is thorough. She has been told she will not be welcome at my funeral.

Some people seem to think that an "I'm sorry" is all it takes. Well IMO actions speak louder than words. If they aren't DOING something to correct things, nothing they say would matter to me. The thing is you and I are different, if you are satisfied then the issue is over. If you aren't let them sink. If they survive they will be the smarter for the experience, and if they don't, you aren't out a thing.

Good luck. I doubt you will need a lot. You are thinking about the subject so you and you alone will reach a decision that will serve you well.

Answer 4

Yes, if you can. Just because other people make wrong decisions doesn't mean that they should pay their whole life. I am learning this one myself. I have a problem with forgiveness but I am getting better at it. People have not always been good to me either but I am learning to forgive. I want to be the bigger person, I want to be the one that can rise above the bullshit and make it work.
Plus, you get the added bonus of them having to think to themself that they were wrong about you and your situation.
Burry the hatchet, don't hate, life is too short for that. Move on and start fresh, turn the other cheek and if you are able to help someone out, then do it.

Answer 5

If you are a better person than they are, then yes. But you are not very specific here. What kind of help? Would helping them hinder you or your own family? Would helping them in the way they want help even really be a help? Things are not that simple. What you need to do is do what is RIGHT. Think about that for awhile, and you'll know what to do. Good luck!

Answer 6

honestly i think you should depending on what it is you are still family no matter what happened and you know if they start shunning you all again you can just say so you shun the people that help you and put you back on your feet you should be ashamed of yourselves i would help if you can good luck if you need to talk just email or i.m

Answer 7

I know it is very tempting to pay them like the old saying "an eye for an eye" but sometimes it is better when you show the ones who treated you wrong that you are not like them, that you have a better soul and you are a better human being, if you help them you'll show them that, some people get it and some other don't, but at least at the end you'll feel better that you helped someone no matter who they are and what they did to you. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I don't know the story. I guess if they really needed it I would help them but I would certainly bring up the shunning beforehand - at length. I would think at the very least you should be able to express your feelings.

Answer 9

Yes, you should help them.

I realize they shunned you and did not help but they will have to answer to that.

For your own sake, forgive them. It will give you peace about the situation. Yes, by all means help them if you can. Be the bigger, better person in this situation.

God will be proud of you for putting aside your pasts and helping your family. God Bless you!

Answer 10

I think that you should help them. Its not always the easiest thing (forgiving), but its certainly the right thing to do. By forgiving them, you are taking the moral high-ground and showing your family maturity. This could bring them around and allow them the opportunity to pause for a moment of self-reflection. Ignoring them will just turn it into a mud-slinging contest, which will do nobody any good.