what should i do about my mom/living situations?

Question

ok so my mom works in arizona mon-thurs and we live in california she comes home on the weekends and is in the worst mood ever and takes it out on me i understand that she is stressed out but she has been like this for months and i hate being around her she always yelling and im getting grounded over the smallest things
in may she kicked me out then called the cops and reported me missing and she gave the cops this sob story so i had to come back home well yesterday we got in a fight and she told me she effin hates me and doesnt want me in her house i wanna leave but whenever i do she calls the cops on me i dont kno what to do
whenever im around her im depressed and spend most the day crying we have never gotten along in all my high school years im a senior this year but i wanna enjoy it i have been grounded this whole month just for telling her how i feel but she took that as me talking back
i live with my step dad when she is at work and he enforces her rules while she is gone

im not allowed to do basic things like go online ( im at school rite now), i get my car taken away alot even tho i pay for everything for it, i cant go out with my friends untill my mom meets everyone of them and interogates them, and i had a job a couple months ago but she didnt like the ppl who worked with me so she called them and quit for me and now im broke and she is buggin me to get a job cuz she wont pay for anything i want other than food honestly im so tired if her rules and not being able to have a normal life and i dont kno what to do anymore

my dad lives in NY and has his own life i asked to live with him b4 and he totally avoids the question so not really an option

Answer 1

Sounds like your mom can use a vacation. Well its good that you understand that she has a busy schedule. I think you should write her a letter and letter know how you feel. I mean she's telling you she doesn't want to see you but when you leave she calls to look for you, so that tells you she doesn't want you to leave. Look when people are mad they say things sometimes they regret saying. You should tell her that your doing the best to understand her situation and see what she says tell her you Love her and you thank her for working hard to keep you up. Remember she gave birth to you therefore she will always be your mom and you her daughter no matter what. Family sticks together! Best wishes to you and God Bless.

Answer 2

How old is your Mom? It sounds like she is having a major crisis, and that would have nothing to do with you. Maybe it's menopause. People do crazy things during that time, because they think whatever the lack is in their life, fixing it is now or never. Maybe she's having an emotional situation where she works, because of this, or for some other reason. She is obviously an unhappy person.

So don't blame it on yourself. Maybe a time of quietude between you would be a good time to ask if everything is okay, and why does she react so emotionally. Or even to ask what's wrong. Let her know you'd like to be there for her, and if there's anything you can do to help, you will, but you can see that she's just not been herself lately.

A time of peace between you might be managed by you doing everything you can think of to let her know you are trying to be a good daughter. In today's world that shouldn't be too much to do. Clean your room, tidy the house, make dinner? You would know best what makes her happy.Then go from there.

I know this may not work right off, but hang in there. It's sad that your mother can't manage more maturity, but you can help by lending some of your own.

Let us know how things turn out. Okay?

Answer 3

You have to think very seriously about college and a job after you graduate. Your mother is concerned about what you are doing with your friends because she's not around to get a sense of who they are. It sounds to me like you scare her - and that's why you keep getting grounded. She wants to protect you and you want to cut loose and 'enjoy' your senior year.
Senior year is really the last year you HAVE to go to school. Maybe your mother knows already that you have no interest in higher education (college) and little interest in school now. That's a guarantee that you're going to be a low-wage earner if you plan to do honest work full-time after you graduate. She might be afraid that you would be tempted to do dishonest work and you might be hanging around with people who think that way.
The sob story she gave the police is probably true.She probably was worried about you.
At the same time, having someone in the house who is just 'hanging out' until they graduate is just as worrisome.
If you make plans for college, if you get good grades, if you can be trusted not to drink and party, that should help calm her concerns. I don't know if you want to do that. Some kids just have to learn the hard way and that's what scares and worries and saddens parents.

Answer 4

I think you mother really needs a vacation, Im a mother and I get stressed out, but what I don't understand is why if she only see you on the weekends she gets like this, maybe she is having problems with you step father and she probably has alot of problems and doesn't know what to do. This is what you need to do first: Call her at the time she is already home and relax, ask her if you can talk to her only for a few minutes, let her know how much you love her and miss her too,second tell her how you feel about this situation,explain her that you need love from her not naggin time, if you are doing good at school tell your mom that you do all these things because you want to help her out and that s why you were working before but she took you out of there, ask her how can you help her to make her and your life happy, How old are you? maybe your mother is afraid about your future, look at her working hard to pay her bills and your education, she wants something better for you and she is trying to be strict maybe her parents were too easy and she feels it didn't help her, my kids are 4 and 5 years old and I worry about their future, I don't want my kids to use drugs or quit school later, I want the best for them, I love them so much. Please talk to your mother as soon as possible and to your step father too, please let me know later if anything changes. GOOD LUCK>>>>>>

Answer 5

Is there an adult that can talk to your mom for you? Maybe you could talk with a guidance counselor and have them sit down with you two. They could just be there for support and when your mom starts to enforce her rules or puts you down, that counselor can intercede. Another thing you could do, not sure if your state has a law against this. But you could go to court and be declared an adult and get out of your parents control. You could get a job and move into your own apartment or live with a friend. You should no matter what finish your education first and foremost.

Answer 6

When you turn 18 move out. You can come stay with me all you need is a ticket to Hawaii :) Seriously it sounds like your mom has a huge problem I would talk to a counselor about it. I had a friend when I was in high school kinda had a similar problem anyway she told me about it and I talked to my mom, she moved in with us. When her dad flipped my mom said well you can leave it alone and know that she is somewhere safe or I can call child services. She stayed with us until we went to college she gets along with her dad now. Sometimes you just need space from your parents.

Answer 7

I wish I could fix this for you. Your mom is obviously stressed (and who wouldn't be with her job) and you bear the brunt of her frustrations. This isn't fair, hurts you and probably pisses the hell out of you; totally understandable. Is it a desirable option or even viable for you to live with your dad.

Be sure you don't make a rash, emotional decision out of anger, but a well thought out, mature one that would benefit everyone involved. God Bless and try to enjoy your senior year.

Answer 8

Your situation is pretty typical of absentee parents who are gone all week and then try to right every wrong on weekends. If your Mother has any reasoning ability at all, she should realize this. In my opinion, you need to have an adult whom your Mother trusts, talk to her about the pressure she puts on you when she is home on weekends.

Answer 9

Oregon could be very pricey state. I wouldnt reside there . Learn the best way to force . Keep your youngsters in a steady enviorment. Being round household is a well factor however hold your youngsters in a million position whereever you decide on.

Answer 10

i know its hard to deal with someting like this...have you considered talking to someone at school a friend, favorite teacher or counsler? im not gonna say that i have been through this but i have been in similar one i know its you last year at school and you should enjoy it as much as you can, and your step father isnt helping this at all....i would suggest you to try and have a family talk and if that doesnt work then talk to someone at school and see if they can give you some more information on how to talk to your mother.