My parents and I are having a quite large argument about my husband whom I married last year. He and my parents had the normal relationship until last month when Adam (my husband) had like 5 beers in this bar where my best friend had her 23 birthday party. Now they are saying he's an alcoholic and that I need to leave him for my own safety and also that I don't know what I'm talking about when I say he's fine and nothings wrong cause I'm only 22. He almost always only has like a beer or maybe two but this one time he had a few more and my parents flipped out. Now on top of that I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago and if I tell them they're going to say the baby's in danger and all that stuff. Adam even went over there and apoligized if he made them uncomfertable and my parents went crazy and started screaming at him and my dad actually punched him. This has happened once with a boyfriend, but not like this, I'm totally loosing my mind, what should I do, please help? Thanks.
2007-09-18 07:26:22 · 7 answers · asked by Brooke 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow! Your parents sound like they have gone off the deep end here. Did they have a bad experience with somebody who was an alcoholic? It sounds like they are taking it out on your husband. It sounds like you still want your parents to be in your life, so the only choice you have is probably to get them to go to counseling with you and Adam (though the counseling will probably be for them). You need an objective mediator to communicate - they are obviously not telling you the whole story - nobody blows up like that because a person has a few drinks one night! You will eventually have to tell them that you are pregnant - if you hid it from them and they find out, it's really going to drive a wedge between you guys, and they will blame Adam even more. You will need to tell them (calmly) that they are being unreasonable - you have never been in danger with Adam, he's never abused you physically or emotionally, and he just got drunk once. That you want them to be a big part of your child's life, but if they can't respect your husband, then they need to step back, because you can't have the grandparents of your child disrespecting his/her dad.
2007-09-18 07:37:48 · answer #1 · answered by lordmisrule2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hun the only thing you can really do is give the whole thing time i mean only 5 beers unless hes drinking that much every night or hour it shouldn't be a big deal id say just sit with one of your parents take them out and talk about why they feel this way and try and come to an understanding i mean they would have to have more of a problem with him then 5 beers if they're overreacting this bad
2007-09-18 07:34:25 · answer #2 · answered by lizardklutzz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My humble opinion is that you should calmly tell your parents to stay out of your relationship. If you have no problem with your spouse having a beer or two, as long as there is no violence, etc, then it's none of their busness. Your 22, not 12. Time to cut the apron string and handle your own life. If mom and dad can't accept that, then move on. Either they will come around, or your better off without them. It was the right thing for your spouse to try to talk to them, but if "dad" hit him, I'd file charges. But that's just me. Again, I want to add, that alchohol does lead to domestic violence. If this occurs, get out. Don't fall for the "I'm sorry" it won't happen again nonsense. But, if it is just a beer or two on occassion, it's no one elses business.
Good luck
2007-09-18 07:37:18 · answer #3 · answered by randy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First give your parents time to calm down and maybe it will work it's self out. If not try family thearopy, or go to a doctor and get them to evaluate your husband and when they prove he's not an alcoholic, then your parents might listen but I honsestly think that it's not only him drinking 5 beers, my guess is there's something more. You also really do need to tell your parents about the fact that you're pregnant or else they will feel as though you're trying to hide something from them.
Good luck and congratulations on your baby. :)
2007-09-18 07:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by Elizabeth 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow, I think you should explain to your parents that this is who you're going to be with for (hopefully) the rest of your life and if they want to be a part of your life they might want to get used to it. 5 beers isn't a lot, was your husband acting like an *** after 5 beers? Was he yelling or arguing? I don't really see how they even have an issue with this unless something bad happened.
2007-09-18 07:37:43 · answer #5 · answered by martin f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your parents some time to cool down. Sounds like they are a bit overprotective of their little girl. And remember that your parents are not married to your hubby, you are. Furthermore, you are a legal adult, soon to be a mom yourself. You will probably understand your parents a little better once you have a baby.
2007-09-18 07:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by petra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk your parents
2007-09-18 08:23:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋