My best friend is getting married on Sat. He loves his girl, but he loves his man too...?

Question

Should I tell her about us?

Its breaking my heart, but he feels it is the best move for his future.

I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

oh bugger, buts thats the problem isnt it

Answer 2

OMG....4 the girls sake i'd GO N TELL HER NOW A.S.A.P its spost 2 be the best day oh ur life n only really want 2 do it once...IN this case it wud be FAIR 2 let her no whats hes doing hes not honest n cheats with a man or not Hes a PIG WHO CANT HAVE HIS CAke N eat it!
UL be reaking the girls heart dropping this bomb shell bt she needs 2 know...BE a man n be honest n save the girl from a life of lies
The guy is so selfish 2 use the girl like that n no offence bt ur not xacttly innocent in this ur actually being selfish leaving it so close 2 the wedding when u wuda had plentyy o oppurtunity 2 tell her...TUT TUT

Answer 3

you must tell her even if she is funny with you for a while, its her life and happiness at stake. you must think if it were you would you want to know? If she is angry with you at first it will not be true anger, it will be hurt on her part and she will just be taking her initial feelings out on you. She will come round. This is the worst case scenario..She may take it better than you think. If the man she is to marry feels this way it wont be long before things go wrong, he wont be able to hide his feeling and he will betray his wife. You must tell her as its the right thing to do. Good Luck. I had a friend in a similar position and thought that sticking with the nornal relationship was best. This was only in denial of his true feelings. Not too long after things turned sour and they were planning to marry.
In all of this, your friend comes first and she deserves no more than the truth no matter how hard it will be to tell her.

Answer 4

Tell her - I know someone personally who was gay and got married, she found out years later after having 3 children and it broke her heart... She quite literally is a broken woman now while he is living it up as a free man (he's a --------) So for everyones sake involved its your duty to tell her... while it not seem like it now think of the heartache it'll save in the future. Good luck

Answer 5

Oh yuck. That he has two relationships is the real issue. That one of the relationships is straight and one is gay is neither here nor there.

When a person is in love with two people, it really isn't fair to any of the parties. Choosing to marry one of them doesn't make anything any better.

The question isn't whether you win him and she wins him. He really needs to decide what to do with his life. If all three of you knowingly agree to the situation, that's one thing. But one party here is in the dark.

Please talk to your man and have him reconsider the wedding at this point.

Best of luck to all of you. A love triangle is so difficult.

Answer 6

She needs to be told and probably not by you. It will be so unfair for the poor girl to marry a man without knowing that he is bi or gay. It could all back fire on you if you are the one to tell her, as it will be seen as your jealousy, and you could loose him too. Is there anyone that also knows that could either tell her parents or another close relative. it may be easier to hear it from them. What ever she decides to do at least it will then be her decision.

Answer 7

Hmm, this sounds like a recent plot in Hollyoaks...and we all know how badly that ended.

Do you know the girl he is marrying? Does she know you well?

I don't think it would be a good idea to intervene. It sounds as though he's made his decision, and as much as he loves you, he's decided to marry her. It's best to find someone who can appreciate you without being ashamed of the relationship.

Good luck.

Answer 8

My god what a situation to be in not only you as a friend but him aswell.... i would advise him of what you feel and say what you feel but dont be pushy, if he feels that way then unfortunatly that is what he will do regardless, its also very harsh on the bride as she is settling down with a man she thinks she will have forever (she might do yet) but she may also have her heart broken and its her i feel so sorry for,
you really need to be a friend at the moment and apart from giving your advice there is nothing you can do apart from watch and be there!

goodluck hunni i really hope this has a happy ending all round! xxx

Answer 9

Definitely.. without a shadow of doubt, she should be told. It is not right to allow someone to make that kind of comittment under false pretense.

Put yourself in her shoes, you would want to know. If she decides she is okay with that, then that is her choice.

Everything done in dark,finds it way to the light. And when this does, she will not be a happy camper. So please tell her now, before she make a comittment on false pretense.

Answer 10

OK, if you are serious and not just making this up, she should be told. It is not fair to her to be in the dark about this. Once she knows all the facts she can make her own decision about whether to go through with the wedding. If you don't tell her, then you and your man are making decisions about her future that you have absolutely NO right to make.

Answer 11

ugh, I had a best friend in the same situation. He wanted to give his mother a grandchild so he married this girl, knocked her up, she had the baby then he told her he was gay, needless to say they didnt last after that....

I'll just say its wrong to marry a women if your gay/bisexual and NOT tell her! What you need to do, for his sake, is talk to him and see if you cant get him to understand he's wrong and needs to talk to this women first, because if she finds out after its going to be a divorce! BUT its NOT your place to talk to this women.

Now, in all honesty, If I were you I'd find someone who wasnt going to "hide" me. Gay or not your significant other shouldnt be trying to hide your relationship from friends/family, find someone better.