Wedding Registries- Would You Buy This Stuff?

Question

If you looked at someone's wedding registry and saw stuff listed like sports equipment, kids furniture, toys, plasma TV and HD-DVD, things that were not what a starting out couple needs for a home, would you be somewhat offended? Or just buy it because that is what they want?

Is "all's fair" in registries, or are there guidelines?

Answer 1

If it's not crystal, silverware, china, linnens or kitchen/home appliances, I don't bother looking. Anything else is just pretentious and rude.

I don't think it's all fair on those obnioux reistries set up for obnoxius couples. Videogames? Poker Chip sets? Gimme a break.

Good luck

Answer 2

A couple things come into play here. One is the circumstances of the couple getting married. Does one or both of them already have a furnished apartment or home? In this case, they already have the majority of items that a couple of yesteryear would have needed just starting out. On the other hand, if both have been living at home, they will need the start up stuff, unless they had a long engagement and have been buying and putting aside for the future. Having said that, I STILL think it is beyond rude and greedy to put sports equipment, plasma TV, HD-DVD stuff simply because they are quite expensive and it is presumptuous at the very least to expect guests to purchase such expensive gifts. My solution in situations like this is simple: if I know the couple, or one of them, well, I give a gift of my choosing that I feel certain they will like in their home. If I don't know them well, I am cheap anyways and will either just send a card or if I feel I need to give a gift it would be along the lines of a $30 gift card to the store they have registered at. After all - I work just as hard for my money as they do theirs and a gift is supposed to be a thought from the heart, not a required thing. And remember... a registry is a wish list ... not a "have to buy from" list!

Answer 3

Sounds as though the groom might have been active in selecting some of the items for this registry! Guys don't generally care about the chaffing dishes and cute oven mitts, and rare indeed is the bride who requests a plasma TV.

But if most of the items this couple has registered for are in the "big spender" category, this is in poor taste. There should be a range of prices available.

It is also possible that the bride and groom are registering for some larger, non-traditional items with the hope that family or a group of friends could go in on them together. This is one way to get the bride and groom something they really want without breaking the bank.

Cheers.

Answer 4

i probably wouldn't buy any of that and i'd either give them cash to help off-set the cost of the wedding or i'd figure something else out that wasn't on the registry...

a wedding registry isn't a giant all-encompassing wish-list. it's so that the couple can receive what they really need to put together a first house/apartment (like dinnerware, glassware, flatware, cookware, odd decorative items, etc). asking for DVD players and TVs and toys and those items just seems like they are asking for too much. if they truly don't need anything, then don't register and accept the cash and gift cards.

i haven't made a wedding registry yet, but i had to make a baby registry not that long ago, and i too had to struggle with what i really wanted and what i really needed. i knew that putting frivolous items on the registry would do me no good, as no one would buy them. i guess you could put stuff like that on there, but there's always guidelines to what people will actually purchase.

Answer 5

Lots of marrying couples don't need the basics as it's very common for each of them to have already set up a household (not so many people marry directly from their parents' homes any more). My faince and I have lived on our own for some time, so we're trying to consolidate households rather than add basic items. I wouldn't be offended by registered items that may not be so much for starting out (if you have a toaster, you have a toaster--we have two!), as I might be if the items were all very expensive things. Any considerate registry has items in a variety of price ranges, with many things in a more affordable range than what you've listed from this couple. It's not the kinds of items, but the price of them, that I would find offensive.

Answer 6

Not offended, more likely just bemused by their effrontery.
Pretty much, with younger couples, they tend to see a registry like Santa's Wish List. However, those choosing a gift for a wedding make their own choice whether to purchase something from the registry or not.
It is a good peek into the attitude and personality of the bride and the groom, though!

Answer 7

Their registry is a hint at what type of stuff they want. If you don't want to buy them something off of it, then give them cash or a gift card. My fiance and I had some less than traditional things (Granted, no plasma tv) on ours, but we'd both been living together for awhile, and had most of the stuff we needed. However, a lot of people seemed to think they knew what we needed more than we did, so we ended up with 6 new sets of towels! Go with the registry or cash/gift cards, but don't assume you know what they need.

Answer 8

With co-inhabitation before gettin married being so popular now, people dont always need things for starting a home... because its already been started. The point of the registry is to give people an idea of what you need. If you have fabulous towels you love already, why ask for more?

And bridal magazines and websites tell you to put larger items on your registry (plasma TVs, HD-DVD players) so that people who want to go in and get one large gift, have options to chose from.

Answer 9

If they aren't just starting out then I would be find with it. There's no need to buy a bunch of pots and pans if they've been living together and have children.

Buy what you can afford and what you feel comfortable buying them, a wedding registry is more like a suggestion and a way to prevent receiving multiples of the same thing.

My fiance are just starting out but plan on living with his parents for a while, when we have a toaster oven in our registry it isn't meant as a we want that specific brand and if you don't get that toaster oven you don't love us it's meant as a we would like a toaster oven and it would rock if it was red (or whatever color selected) kind of thing.

Answer 10

The fact is that there are very few "starting out" newlyweds these days. A traditional registry includes things like towels, small appliances and china.

However, I'm getting married next year and I have all those things - so what do I register for? I have two sets of china (from grandparents on both sides), a full set of nice cookware, knives, linens, etc.

I think that registering for toys is in poor taste, but a couple that already has a household is left to try to register for things they actually need. Some couples register at non-traditional places like camping stores, some register for contributions towards honeymoons (really poor taste in my opinion). I would just assume that this couple tried to find things they actually needed and forgive the tackiness of registering for gifts that are actually for their children. Buy something from their registry that least offends your sense of what a wedding present is "supposed" to be.

Answer 11

I would, or I would just give them the cash if I was that uncomfortable.

I've always found it pretty arrogant and a little selfish for me to think I know better than the couple what they want/need. Besides, if I am going to spend my hard earned money and time getting a gift I would much rather it be appreciated than "appropriate".

Guidelines for registry is don't register for a whole book of items and make sure you hit all the price ranges. They seem to have done that even if it's not what you personally would want for your wedding. I seroiusly doubt the couple expects a single person to go out and buy them the plasma. However, it's really common for people to give amounts towards the big gift or to band together with other friends and family to get it jointly. Most stores also offer a discount on any registry items not purchased so if the couple DID want to go buy the TV they would save hundreds.