I dont know if i dont believe in love or if im afraid of it! But either way i dont want to be in it but the guy im wit is making it very difficult for me! He is the sweetest guy ever and when ever im wit him he makes me feel absolutly amazing! but evertime i see one of my friends in love they end up getting hurt really bad and im not tryin to experience that pain! What should i do??? i really wanna tell him how i feel but i dont wanna break his heart by saying i dont love you or i cant be in love with you? i need help!!!
2007-09-18 05:09:09 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let me tell you a little story. I had a friend who was riding his bike with a few guys. They were on their way down a steep hill coming up to an intsection. My friend wasn't able to stop in time and was hit by an oncoming car. Luckily, those he was with, were heads-up and called 911 right away. He escaped major injury, thank God, but he, of course was skeptical about riding his bike again.
Now, your saying that you're afraid of love because you're afraid of getting hurt. You also don't want to hurt him. I would say take it slow, but don't fight it. Just because it's scary doesn't mean it'll end up hurting you. You can't be afraid of something just because it MIGHT end up hurting you. OR, you'll never end up loving again....or riding that bike, because it's just too dangerous...
2007-09-18 05:17:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love can work - and if you find it is very worth the pain of finding it. The people who suffer the most are the ones who looked for love in the wrong places or in the wrong people.
You can never make a person love you - but you can't keep them from loving you, and if you manage to love them as well, then it's great.
You sound as if you believe that love is free of pain, but if you were to say that to any couple married more than a few years it would be hard for them not to laugh in your face. We do hurt the ones we love - more than we would ever consider hurting a stranger. The beauty is in the forgiveness we give one another and in the true sorrow we feel when we are the one who has transgressed. I'm talking about regular daily types of hurt here, not abuse.
Do you have close friends? Don't they sometimes hurt you? But I bet you wouldn't give them up for a million bucks.
All you are doing by cutting yourself off from love is not allowing yourself to live fully.
2007-09-18 12:20:41 · answer #2 · answered by BettyBoop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you can't measure your feelings against what happened to your friends. Each relationship is different and unique, your friends may have told you their story, and the emphasis is on their, but each story has 3 sides, his, hers and the truth is somewhere between the two. If you like this guy, then be honest and tell him that you are afraid and explain why, if he really wants a relationship with you, then he will help you to feel more secure with him. He should be understanding and not push, and you need to really listen to the words that he is saying, rather than what he's not saying. Don't look for hidden meanings where there may not be any.
2007-09-18 12:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by judyrobins14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Don't believe in love"? WTF? It's not Santa Claus, honey, love is real and you can see proof of it every day, all around you. And yes, it causes pain, really intense pain, a lot of the time... but it also causes the greatest happiness you'll ever know, and you can't experience that happiness until you've taken the risk and felt the pain... and that will, in turn, give you a greater appreciation of the happiness when you do get it.
Don't hide from love forever, honey. In the end, you'll regret more the chances you didn't take than the chances you did.
Go ahead and let the guy know that you like him, but warn him that you've afraid of getting burned and that may make you cautious and reluctant at times.
2007-09-18 12:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AWE! First let me start by congratulating you! Being in love is a wonderful feeling. And you are right you does hurt tremendously if you are ever hurt by the one you love. That doesnt mean you should go into a relationship with apprehensions about love. That would be unfair to your bf. Also when you do that you hinder yourself from being able to experience all that love has to offer. Sit down and discuss your fears about getting hurt with your guy, he should be more than understanding, no one WANTS to be hurt. Your feelings are very human and expressing them with him may even bring you guys closer. He may be experiencing the same joys and fears as you. Good luck!! And remember this feeling you have now, you may need to refer back to it if things get tough. Never forget the most important thing and that is love!!
2007-09-18 12:19:19 · answer #5 · answered by Airyka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are afraid of love. You said it yourself, "everytime I see one of my friends in love they end up getting hurt really bad and I'm not trying to experience that pain." That quote is the epitome of being afraid. You are afraid to trust someone with the most vulnerable part of you. Everyone has to let go sometime. I'll always believe in the saying, "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I've been hurt too and it felt horrible, but I got over and yes, it did take many months to get over it, but I had friends around me. Love is real and it will still find you wherever you hide.
2007-09-18 12:20:08 · answer #6 · answered by *~*BUNNY*~* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do as the heart pronounces. You'll see that you are not an exception of love. Once you let the Idea, of not believieving in love go, then you'll not only realize the fruits your heart can bring upon you, but also be at peace with your self for vanquishing such a heavy burden from your heart.
Try it today; tell me about it tomorrow. It is gonna be fine; Just believe in love
2007-09-18 12:22:59 · answer #7 · answered by mr. wisdom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love can be wonderful & it can also hurt a lot. I'd say to just be cautious--you can love someone & still keep your wits around you enough to know when they are causing you too much pain & you need to leave. Be honest with him & let him know what your worries are. But if something he says doesn't ring true, know when to cut your losses & leave. It would be a sad thing if everyone were afraid to fall in love.
2007-09-18 12:18:13 · answer #8 · answered by Kelbid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not your friends, first of all. And just because they've had bad experiences doesn't mean that you should give up on love. You never know, you could be missing out on your husband by closing yourself off from loving someone else. But if you feel that deeply about it you do need to tell him, because it's almost like leading him on isn't it? Being in love is wonderful, I would advise you to open yourself up to him and to his love. It's okay to hurt sometimes, it's how we get stronger. I promise you'll be fine.
2007-09-18 12:16:40 · answer #9 · answered by luvsthepink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a keeper to me....Don't be afraid of love...it might be a mistake, but it's definately worth making....and just because your friends ended up hurt dont mean you will...but if you do then it's not the end of the world...Guys come and Go, but don't let go of the one who actually wants to be there. Good Luck!
2007-09-18 12:14:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋