What's a good joke you heard recently?

Question

Need a good laugh.

Answer 1

Woman takes off her jeans?
throws it at her boyfren n said
' make me feel like a woman'




boyfren removes his jeans, throw it at her & said
'WASH BOTH!!'

Answer 2

How about this One:

The train was quite crowded, so the U. S Marine walked its entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

"Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now sir, you've thrown the wrong ***** out the window."

Answer 3

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST> ANYMORE.>> George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed>when> his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden>shed,> which she could see from the bedroom window.>> ;George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw>that> there were people in the shed stealing things.>> He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house?' and>he> said 'no'. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that>he> should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when> available. George said, 'Okay,' hung up, counted to 30, and>phoned> the police again.>> 'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were> people> stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry>about> them now because I've just shot them.' Then he hung up.>> Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit,>and> an> ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the> burglars red-handed.>> One of the Policemen said to George: 'I thought you said that> you'd> shot them!'>> George said, 'I thought you said there was nobody available!'>> (True Story) I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people!!>>

Answer 4

That some consider Bush to among the top 5 Best Presidents of the USA.

Answer 5

A panda walked into a restaurant and he eat some sushi just before he left he pulls out a gun a kills everyone, the manager aid what did you that for the panda said read this, so the manager read this book and it said 'panda: eats, shoots and leaves.

Answer 6

A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching
you!" "who's
there?" The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and
he heard it two
more times when he spotted a parrot. "What's your name," the robber
asked. "Cocodora"
said the parrot. "Now, what kind of idiot would name a bird Cocodora"
said the robber.
"The same idiot who named the rotweiler Jesus", said the parrot.

Answer 7

In a Jar

There are 3 flies in a jar 2 females and 1 male, the first female goes to the male fly and says "How do I get out of this jar?"

The male fly says, "Give me a piece of *** and I will tell you." so she does and he says, "Go to the bottom of the jar and fly to the top as hard as you can and the lid will pop off!" She did and splat she died.

The other fly not seeing what happened says, "How do I get out of this jar?" The male fly says, "Give me a piece of *** and I will tell you."
so she does and he says, "Go to the bottom of the jar and fly to the top as hard as you can and the lid will pop off!" She did and splat, she dies.

Then the male fly flies out of the jar. How did he get out??

If you haven't guessed by now, check the answer below.





"Give me a piece of *** and I will tell you."

Answer 8

there are 4 people on a plane a mexican, an asian, an american and the pilot.the plane strats to go down and the pilot said, for each of them to throw one thing out of the plane so it wont be so heavy.so the mexican said "i have a lot of beans in my country so ill throw some out" and so he did.the asian said "i a lot of rice in my country so ill throw some out.and he did. then the american said "i have lots of these in my country" he grab the mexican and throw him out.

Answer 9

What goes ooo ooo ooo?
A cow with no lips!! LOL Great minds vixen

Answer 10

What goes "oooooooooo?"








A cow with no lips.