do I have to give a gift for a destination wedding to Aruba that cost over 1000 to get to and stay at?

Answer 1

Sounds like a great trip. I would go to the wedding with a card and some money. Gift cards are great! Money is better ($50-$100)!!

Answer 2

You never HAVE to give a gift, but you should give the couple whatever you would have given if they had the wedding at home or at least a pretty darn good portion of it.

Attending was your personal choice and you had every right to bow out and just send them the gift. If the wedding was in the next town over would you be deducting your gas money from their gifts? I doubt it. Besides, you act like you are going to a convention for work or something where you will be stuck in your hotel room. You will be having a good time and a mini-vacation so it's not like the benefit is all on the couple's side.

Answer 3

On one hand, you elected to attend, and a gift is proper to be given at a wedding. If going is a hardship for you, you shouldn't be spending $1000 on a trip it seems you feel somewhat resentful about. Anyone who has a destination wedding knows many people will not make it there, and they should be understanding of that fact.

If someone comes to my destination wedding without a gift, I won't bat an eye, but I would think at least a congrats card is in order.

Answer 4

Catty women on here today....Don't parents teach their kids anymore that gifts are gifts and not to expect them?? No one should ever expect a gift, period. If you have a wedding that people are going to spend alot of money attending, then I would especially not expect gifts.

Now, that being said.. if it was me, I would go to the wedding, and probably get them a smaller present which I would leave at home for them to get when they get back. For one, you don't want to pay tarrif on anything you bring with you, and two they will appreciate having a gift to arrive home to. I know I did. Or if you can afford it, buy them something in Aruba that they can remember their wedding by -some heart felt trinket from a local shop or something.

Answer 5

Just as much as its your choice to go to the wedding, its your choice whether or not to give a gift. People who have destination weddings realize that people are shelling out a lot of time and money to make it to their event and are generally very grateful for just your presence alone. Also, take into account your position in life... if you're young and working paycheck to paycheck, it is completely understandable that you cant afford a gift on top of your travel expenses but a nice card or even a tiny token should surely be appreciated. If you're older and more settled in life then giving some sort of a gift would be the appropriate thing to do (doesn't have to mean spending big bucks). You have a year to give them something so take your time and you may come across something months later that would be perfect and not as detrimental price-wise after enough time has passed to heal your bank account.

Answer 6

Ok, the current bride first. Even though the columnist "Miss Manners" said the we should send a gift for every wedding invitation we get, it is still not an obligation. It is supposed to be freely given, and the amount not a burden on the giver. But when the bride makes it impossible for people to attend the wedding, on purpose, [if you know why she moved the wedding, then others can figure it out too] then there will be lots fewer gifts. I have said it before, and I will say it again, brides who think that it is OK to treat guests poorly, and use the current "its all about the bride" theory will find out the hard way that is is all about the guests, as it used to be. I don't think this bride is all that close to you. If you are begrudging the costs of seeing her married, and being mean to her over a stupid comment she made. People know when they are being used, excluded, or treated poorly. Wait until she tries to have her first baby shower, and see how many attend. One of my friend's daughter found out what not sending thank you notes for the presents given to her at the wedding did. Her mother, who gave the baby shower, commented how poorly attended the shower was. Now you. If you lived in a bricked up house with no phone or windows or communication with the outside world, we would understand that you had no clue that a trip to the destination would cost you $1500, including the clothes and items you would have bought if the wedding were at home. And even if the bride is being a stuck on herself bridezilla, that does not relieve you of the need to give a gift. Yes, she was rude to ask for the money back. Yes, she is stupid for having the wedding in heck and gone. Sure, her wedding is costing more, but that is on her, and should factor not a lot in your decision on what to give her. Rivers would, if she was presented with a gourmet dinner and nice entertainment, might be tempted to increase the amount of her gift. But that is the choice of the bride to have an expensive wedding. And that is on Rivers, if I decided to give more for a fancier wedding. . My question is, what did you say back to her when she asked for the money back? If you said nothing, or agreed to it, or laughed, or any other reaction save"no", you agreed to it. Fork it over. You have one year, by etiquette rules, to give a gift. Surely you will be working before then, and able to afford a gift. We hope so. For now, go to a name brand discount house like Tuesday Morning and get something that cost a lot for cheap. Rivers once got a Waterford crystal ornament, usual price $65, for $5. Find something with a significant mark down, and a world famous name.

Answer 7

Well, you don't have to go to the wedding if you can't afford it but it does sound like it will be fun and you'll have a great mini vacation.

Give them a smaller gift. Have it sent to their home so they have something to suprise them. I suggest a souvneir from Aurba or maybe a gift certificate. How about a gift certificate to the local movie theater? They would probably appreciate the gift of a couple's night out more than something material that they may not need or like. Besdies, movie theater gift certificates are cheap. You can usually get one for under 25 dollars that will pay for their tickets and snacks for two people.

Hope this helps and have fun on your trip! I'm jealous. It sounds exciting

Answer 8

Technically, receiving a wedding invitation means you should send a gift regardless of whether you attend the wedding or not. If you attend, you should give at least a small gift and a nice card. The gift could actually be something you make for the couple (a photo-album, etc.) and does not have to be expensive.

Answer 9

You don't "have" to give a gift, but I think the polite thing to do is to give a gift whenever one attends a wedding, local or destination. IMO, if the costs of attending a wedding are so prohibitive, one can't afford the extra $100 or so they would spend on a gift, then they shouldn't go. IMO, it's important that a wedding guest have enough of a generosity of spirit that they're not doing mental accounting for quid pro quos: giving/pricing or not giving a gift based on whether the couple is spending more on them or whether they are spending more on the couple.

Send the gift or check to the couple's home, as opposed to bringing if with you on your trip.

Answer 10

Yes - The amount of the gift is not important - It should be the thought that counts - If you want the proper ediquette regarding this - You should know that it is perfectly fine to give a gift up to one year from the wedding day - If this is the case you can make a note to the couple - They should understand... Or else they are not worthy of you.. Not many people would go so far for people they don"t care about...
Hope that it is a wonderful day for all!