Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now and we also have a son together. Latley he has been acting like he does not want to be with me anymore. I always has a attitude with me, he is starting to drink alot, and is jus turning into this person that i dont even know anymore. I ask him if he wants to be with me still and he tells me yes but his actions are tellin me something different and i guess he dont act like that all the time but most of the time. Should i give up and move on or should i try and work it out a lil longer because i do love him with all of my heart and i do have a son by this man! Im confussed
2007-09-18 04:53:35 · 9 answers · asked by dgaodg 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The two of you have a child together and that is only important thing at this point. You must protect the child at all cost! Even from each other!
Whether you all are together or not does not really matter. If he is drinking a lot, should he be around your son? If he is angry all the time, what is your son learning?
You need to get to the bottom of why this is happening. Their may be something you all can do and their may not be anything you all can do. The two of you need to get your act together individually. Once you have yourselves together individually then you have something to bring to a relationship.
Love is a great beginning. You all can build on that! You all will be in each others lives forever because of your Son!
Good Luck to all three of you!
2007-09-18 05:13:08 · answer #1 · answered by Bill C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably both in a relationship rut right now. Having a child takes its toll on a relationship, pretty much sucking the romance right out of it. What you two need to do is reconnect. Do either of you have parents or relatives that you would trust to watch your little one for a weekend so you can go away on a romantic trip together? If there's not money for a trip, you can still put the spark back into your relationship by staying home alone together, taking bubble baths, giving each other sensual massages, etc. Just sleeping in without having to go check on a crying baby is a good way to recharge and feel more like a couple again. Don't worry- guys tend to freak out sometimes after a baby enters the picture, because he knows that it will never really be the same between you again. But if you can show him that the end of the romance period of your relationship is far from over, he will start to be the guy you fell in love with again. Try to plan a weekend like this at least once a month or so, or if you can't do a whole weekend that often, designate a certain night of each week as "date night" and let someone watch the baby for a few hours that night. That's all you need to re-ignite the spark. Good luck!
2007-09-18 05:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a tough question to answer. People just get tired of the ho-hum-boredom sometimes in their relationships. It happens all the time, and since you're smart enough to notice it, perhaps you are smart enough to make an attempt to do something about it.
If you really love him, and you do after-all, have a child together, you may wish to "spice" things up a bit. Maybe a lot.
You can try the sexy lingerie thingy, find out if he wants to do some "fun-stuff" in the bedroom, and do some role-playing.
Usually men will become bored with their lack of sexual fun first. After that, men just don't really care about much else. Food and sports maybe.
Try preparing some new and exotic foods. Make him get off his butt and take him out to a fun club.
Put on your makeup, dress sexily for him. Make yourself more desirable. There are many ways to do it.
After you've tried all you can, and he's still lethargic, it is going to be time for you to seek some counselling for the child's sake. If he doesn't agree, it will then be time to begin your healing process, and prepare for the "Big Dump".
It will work out for you in some way. Sometimes bad stuff happens so that new and brighter opportunities may come into your life.
Just always keep in mind. That child is the most important life involved, and what is best for the child is what you must focus upon.
You will forever have to have that man in your life, whether or not you're together, so be prepared to go through some very very difficult times.
Best of luck to you and your's.
Nad
2007-09-18 05:10:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yal need to sit down together when he's not drinking & both of you are in a good, calm mood, with no distractions. Tell him how you feel & why you feel that way. Ask him how he truly feels about you & why he's all of a sudden changing? What is he unhappy about? If yal are both completely honest, yal should be able to determine what yal want to try & do.
Maybe he's having problems at work or something. Or if yal are having problems financially, maybe it's really bothering him. Reasurre him by letting him know that whatever problem he's having, your there to help him in anyway you can. Remind him that yal are in it together, & that whatever is bothering him, bothers you.
Maybe it's the whole father thing, & having to adjust to it. Yal should try & get away for a weekend, just the 2 of you. Ask one of yals parents if they can watch the baby for the weekend. Go somewhere fun & romantic!!
2007-09-18 05:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by whitetiger2137 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm, well you should look at this from all angles. Because it just might be not be you as a person, but something from an outside source that's triggering this behavior (i.e. work, co-workers, something with his family, etc.) and that may cause his moods swings and attitudes and the drinking. My suggestion is to not ask if he still wants to be with you, but ask if everything's alright. ( if his work was OK, if there's something wrong with his family, etc.) If you truly love him "with all your heart", you would take lengths to keep him around and make him happy. By having him eventually opening up to you and telling you what's on his mind, you'll have a better chance of helping him through his trials and keeping him around.
2007-09-18 05:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by fobabe032 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick it out a little while longer. If you truly love this man, stay with him. But listen, I am sure that you are a beautiful woman, a wonderful mother and a awesome girlfriend if he doesn't appreciate that someone else will. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Good luck!
2007-09-18 04:59:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are normal lows in a relationship. Why don't you do some family activities without any drinking. If he drinks once in awhile and he dosen't get nasty I don't see anything wrong unless you hate that.
Treat yourself to a fitness club or join a group. Hell if you left him you need friends anyways.
2007-09-18 05:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by whoopswhosfault 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you should do...
Sit down, and talk about it! Make sure he is listening. Be clear and serious.
Good luck for you and your relationship!
2007-09-18 04:58:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a heart to heart with him. something is bothering him. if he doesn't want to talk just yet, respect his space.
2007-09-18 05:00:45 · answer #9 · answered by Dreamy™ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋