is there anyone else who asks to be excused before leaving the diner table.?

Question

and do you think its rude to have your elbows on the table when eating.

Answer 1

Asking to be excused before you leave the table for me, and my children, is normal.
Must admit, that I still put my elbows on the table, in spite of many years of hearing my grandmother announce, 'All joints on the table will be carved.'

Answer 2

I dont' ask to be excused, because I eat slow and am almost always the only one left at the table after everyone else has been excused. I do make my kids ask, though.

Elbows on the table is iffy with me. When we're sitting there eating dinner, yes, I enforce a no-elbows-on-the-table rule. When my kids are at the table having toast for breakfast while I'm getting dressed for work, or if they are having a lunch of pbj sandwiches and cheetos, I'm more relaxed about that rule.

I'm guilty of teaching situational etiquette. When we're out, eating a decent dinner, around other people, they know how to behave better than they do at home.

I have bigger dinnertime etiquette issues... my two boys' bathroom is directly across from the dining room. My six-year-old is better about this now, but the four-year-old has a habit of asking to be excused to go to the bathroom, we'll remind him to shut the door, turn and talk to each other or look at our plate for a second, and look up to see him sitting on the toilet.

Suddenly, elbows on the table just does not seem like a big problem.

Answer 3

When I was younger and would spend the summers with my grandparents, I'd have to ask to be excused from the table. I always thought it was a quaint little custom, albeit a little old-fashioned. They always excused me, so it wasn't a problem.

I know it's considered rude to have elbows on the table while eating, but I never understood why. To me, it always seemed a little silly. If people were paying attention to their own food and not to the placement of another person's elbows, it really wouldn't be much of an issue.

Answer 4

Growing up, we had to ask to be excused from the table at home. If we were out, we just had to say that we were getting up. I don't ask at home anymore, b/c I usually sit until everyone's done and we're all getting up to clear the table.

I know that elbows on the table are considered rude, but I still do it sometimes. I'm not talking about lounging, though, sometimes I just rest my elbow up there...especially if I've been talking or telling a story...I'm very expressive with my hands and arms when I talk, so it's hard not to....

Answer 5

Being excused before leaving the table is the law,
controlling ones elbow positioning can be difficult
and may lend to having them on the table from time
to time

Answer 6

We try not to leave the table during meals as we view this as a time for spending together. If, however, one of us does have to leave then "excuse me" is offered. We think it common courtesy. We do not put elbows on the table either, when we speak to each other we like to look at each others faces.

It is surprising though when we have visitors how many do not follow the rule. Not that it matters what others do but we follow the traditions set before us by our parents and their parents before them.

Answer 7

i dont ask for permission to leave, and i try not to make a big announcement, but ill at least make some mention that im going for a moment and that ill be back.

i wont put my elbows on my table if im wearing a nice shirt that can wear out. otherwise, i think its very silly to worry about elbows on the table. some people use it as just another way to judge against somebody, but i think most people dont really care.

Answer 8

We had to ask when we were children and we would get a wack if we had elbows on the table.
I hate to admit it but my husband has terrible table manners, he was raised in Eastern Europe but I still tell him everyday to pull up his chair and sometimes even to use his fork!He doesn't eat like an anmimal when we have company but i wish he would eat better when it is just the two of us.
I always ask him why his mom didn't teach him better, it is a sore subject with him.I have witnessed her throwing food to her animanls while we were still at the table eating.They would always ask me why I didn't want seconds, I could hardly eat what was on my plate.It was gross.Otherwise my husband is sweet,just wasn't taught right.

Answer 9

yes i do asked to be excused, and yes elbows on the table WHILE you're eating is rude, but when everyone has finished eating, you may put your elbows on the edge of the table, but it is preffered that you don't.

m

Answer 10

Elbows - definate no no, even just for practical and space issues.

And i'll say 'excuse me' if i have to leave the table at a bar/meeting, anyplace not just if people are eating.