how many of you would be upset...?

Question

...if your children decided to go against your firm belief system? How would you HONESTLY handle it? I know there are alot of tolerant people out there so be specific. Please don't leave it at, "I would just leave them alone and let them believe whatever they want to believe."

If it is a friend it might be a different case but this is flesh and blood so think about your answer.

I am just wondering.

Answer 1

Thanks for the question.... this one hits home for me.

My son, 11 years old, has told us that he hates church and does not believe in God. In fairness, part of that is borne out of his ADHD. He also has a very mechanically inclined brain... he can work with tools, make things, reason how things work. He can't see or hear God. The Bible was written thousands of years ago by dead guys.

And you know what? I see his point. And I've struggled with it. Yes, my 11 year old son started a faith-crisis in my life.

But this is the very nature of the Living God... to challenge.

So what am I going to do? Watch for one thing. Also, make sure he learns to respect those who DO believe, like his mom, dad, and sister.

But my thinking is that faith is going to sneak up on him at some point later and he will grab hold hard.

If he does not develop a faith-life, then, I hope, he will at least respect it.

Not that I won't encourage him to come to church along the way!! We certainly will! I will talk with him lots and lots over the years about the nature of God and the Bible. And I hope,eventually, he will find his own path.

Regards

Answer 2

Personally, I'm not religious at all, so I don't know how much help this will be. I guess if you do believe strongly in your religion then this might be a big deal for you, especially if you raised your children to have similar beliefs. But I think that if your children are old and mature enough to be making this decision on their own, then they should be able to go right ahead. I guess if something similar happened to me, I would be upset too, but I think that I'd be able to just let it go... Afterall, I'm sure there's some things that you believe in strongly and your parents don't.

Answer 3

I wouldn't be upset..... when kids grown up and learn things they're entitled to make their decisions based on the information they've received, just as much as on the education they got from you.

My parents weren't very religious but they were catholic and they started raising me as one too..... to make things worse, I was compelled to remain 9 years in a catholic school. Of course by the time I quit that school (at 15) and after reading about other religions, I decided none of them made it for me and I became an atheist. My parents couldn't care less.... I was old enough to decide what to believe in, even if it wasn't the same they believed in. They never tried to compel me to go back to the beliefs they instilled in me during my first years. And I didn't care that they didn't have the same beliefs I did, either. So maybe the "I would just leave them alone and let them believe whatever they want to believe" isn't a response good enough for you, but it all comes down to that.... they did their job and if you decide not to stick to what they taught you, there's nothing else they can do, and they SHOULDN'T do anything about it either....!!! They must be respectful of your decisions on this matter just as they should be of ALL the decisions you make in your life. I will never marry, and if I did, of course I wouldn't do it at the church... maybe my dad would have liked to see me walking down the aisle dressed in white, but I'm sure that wherever he is he will respect the fact that this isn't what I want for MY life.

Answer 4

I wouldn't be mad or upset at them (maybe disappointed). Its a hard thing to do at your children. Ultimately, the decision is theirs to be made. The only thing I would do is do the best I could to let them see the gravity of their choice. It doesn't mean we can't live in harmony it just means that we are a bit different. They too remember, are subject to the free will that God has given us. As parents, our job is to do the best we can to steer our children in the right direction. Parents make mistakes too-its important to teach our children not to make the same ones.

Answer 5

I wouldn't be upset in the least. The Gods call who they will. It's THIER path not mine. Of course I would love it if they followed my path. They share my blood lines therefore they are also decendants of the Gods. But they don't have ONLY my blood. They may hear a different call.

edit:actually Hope, I'm pagan. But I TD as a mother, not a pagan.

Answer 6

I'm pretty sure the number is in the thousands. I am not one of them. (You said "how many", so the answer is a number).

Now how would I handle it? My beliefs are not relevant to what my child believes. My rules, however, are another matter. As long as I am responsible for a child's upbringing, the child will obey the rules I establish. I would NOT leave the child alone to do what they want.

Answer 7

I wouldn't have a problem with it. Beliefs are a reflection of who you are, and unless my kid was going to be my clone, they would believe at least a little differently than me no matter what. I'm pagan, and I wouldn't even care if they went Christian, so long as I didn't get a bunch of lectures and preaching, becaues I wouldn't lecture them about my beliefs either.

Answer 8

I don't have any children.. but I would be very upset.
When it comes to handling it... I'd ask how and why they came to their decision, then I'd try to reason with them and convince them to change it.
If that doesn't work, in the end their decisions would be their own and I would have to leave it at that. Whatever consequences their decision would produce they would have to face on their own.

Answer 9

This is such a delicate matter and deserves the utmost care. I think it's very important to love our children unconditionally. If we have brought them up to be lovers of God and humanity, tolerant, forgiving, and with our lives showed them the power and efficacy of our beliefs, and they remain unconvinced, we must leave the door open for them and let them know we can be trusted to honor them and respect them. I am a Baha'i and I have very strong beliefs. My children are also Baha'is married to Baha'is.

Answer 10

I am agnostic. That is why I never forced my beliefs on my only child. I brought messages from all religions into my home. He was able to decide at a very early age that his choice is Christianity. He knew it was right for him. Now as an adult, he never tries to convert me, and I never try to convert him. He is happy, I am ecstatic.