Fees for pastor?

Question

My fiance's childhood pastor (who is also the mother of a longtime friend) will be marrying us next month. We are meeting with her this evening to go over ceremony details. There has been no mention of her fee. Would it be impolite of me to simply ask her what her fee is for the ceremony, or should I wait until she says something to us? Also, do you generally tip a pastor? Thanks in advance for the advice!

Answer 1

I would ask the pastor at the meeting. It varies widely. When my niece got married last year, the church had a standard contract listing all of the fees for the wedding that she had to sign. Since my husband played the wedding music, the pastor deducted a set amount from the total.
When my daughter got married in May, our Pastor would not take anything since we were members and my husband helps out with the musical ministry. My daughter and her husband bought the Pastor and his wife a gift card for their favorite restaurant and gave them a copy of the wedding CD (which they loved--said no one had ever thought to give them one before). I'd make sure I asked ahead of time. If she is a family friend, she probably won't expect a fee for performing the ceremony, but a nice thank you card with a small token of your appreciation would be nice to give her. Good luck and best wishes!!

Answer 2

You can always call the church to ask about the pastor fee. This is what I just did. If you are a member, the fee can be honorary... and if you aren't, sometimes there is a set pastor fee. Ours is 250 if you are not a member. If there is no church to call, you can simply ask the pastor at the meeting. It's not rude, and he might tell you he will do it as a gift to the both of you- but it is always nice to leave them something. At least 100 is what we were thinking.

Answer 3

I just got married a couple of months ago. Nothing was discussed but we gave him a thank you card at the reception with $200 dollars in it. Usually when they want the money they will tell you a fee at the beginning. Our Pastor was a friend of the family also so normally they do not want to accept anything from you. Just give her what you feel she deserves.

Answer 4

My brother is a pastor in the Pittsburgh area, and his fee is usually $75-100 depending on how much the couple wants done at the wedding. I would say give her a check for $100-150, and if she says that's not enough, you can always say that you can give her the rest later on.

No tips.

Answer 5

Hi. I work in a church so here is my advice.

Yes....come right out and ask her - "what is your fee?" Generally the fee is usually $100. If, for some reason she says, a "donation" or "whatever you feel is appropriate," I would still give her $100. That is the general "suggested donation" now.

No, you do not need to tip.

Answer 6

This meeting is when you should ask, do not wait for the day of the ceremony

Since it is a friend's mother, she will probably due it as a gift and if that is the case, you shoud buy her a thank you gift

I assume you already invited her to the reception right?

Answer 7

Ask. I am performing my brother's best friend's wedding as his gift. I did one for a family member (step-sister in law) as their gift, and they still tipped me because they did not feel right about paying nothing.

Based on that, I'd say if she says no fee for you, I'd tip $50 -$100.

Answer 8

No of course its not rude! It would be rude not to ask and then not know how much to pay or even if payment is required!

Answer 9

I do not think it is impolite to ask.