What do you do when you think you don't love the one you've been with for over 3 years?

Question

I just quit smoking at I know that it's not because of any frustrations that go with that because the way I have been feeling has only gotten worse. Before when I still smoked, I lit a cigg. whenever I got mad or irritated, now I just have t deal with whatever,which is fine btw.
Now,I have MANY times clearly explained to him what I need from him.Andit's like in ine ear and out the other, does no good. I sometimes wonder if the real problem isn't that we're too much alike.Idk. He owns a construction bisness and with that comes alot of stress.Ok, fine but when I continuously have the feling of always having my boss around instead of my boyfriend,unless of corse he want some you know, I feel crapy like what am I doing here. Another thing is that he's still dealling with his ex-wife who won't let him see the kids and they are in court again soon.he is always stressed and nasty and miserable,never can relax and be nice or happy. he says he is all these things,not true. I wanna leave,help!

I tell him all the time that I didn't sign p for this, that if WE matter to him then I need for him to hear what I'm saying and think about it. Still nothing happens, no changes. I am going nuts, cry alot, and can't help but think it's not worth it. I don't even know anymore if I'm still in love with him. He completly provides for me, I get to stay home 90% of the time and still het a good paycheck, he says I have the good life because of this, but I think it would only be just that if he could make me feel the way he did when we first got together. be my friend, be my boyfriend, talk nice to me. My God I don't even want to be intimate with him. I have no drive anymore cause am unhappy. I just wish that he could understand that what I have told him is crucial if he wants to stay together instead of telling me what I say doesn't matter, that I never have anything important to say.
Thanks to all who read this in it's entirty and give a sincere response!! I could use some feedback:)

I should also include that when I have brought this whole thing up to him his reply is 'well there's alot of hings I nedd you to change too'.
What? I do everything for him. When he's home the only thing he has to do for himself is wash hid butt!!!!! Bruch his own teeth and change his own clothes. Oh yeah, bring the garbage can to the front for pick up, I bring them back to the garage!!! I', not complainig about that either it's just come on here, he doesn't get it. I am so turned off by him reacting the way he does, and why would I want to give 'it' to him at night when he's done nothing but talk nasty to me all day?

2 years ago I left to Florida for 8 months and came back. I do pray that it will work, I pray that he's given what he needs to see that I am serious about my requests and that if these things are just selfish request to take it away. I don't think it's being selfish however I think that a relationship shouldn't be THIS MUCH WORK and this much heartache for me. Am I just torturing myself here?

Answer 1

All relationships are hard work. when you have been with someone for a while the feelings change from the initial rush of love to something deeper. you start to notice all their faults and bad habits that didnt seem to matter before. The best thing to do is talk if you can, if you are both overworked the stress can cause a lot of tension between you. Try and do something fun together and make some quality time for you both .Remember the grass isnt always greener in the other field, it just looks that way because your not in it. xx
If you wanna talk about it you know where to find me.:-)

Answer 2

I have had something very simular happen to me. With all of the stress and the lack of attention from us both being stressed with a kid, work, etc.. it got me to the point where I told myself I didnt love him and we split for 6 months. I know this sounds crazy but I broke down one night and just started praying and actually made an apperance in church with my mom. I pray everyday that our relationship gets better...I asked him to show me if I truly loved him (been with my husband for 5 years) and he did..we have been back together for 4 months now and better than ever. God really answers prayers and will help you. It might now be right away but he really will if you believe. People told me it was a waste of time to pray until I actually tried and now they are in awe. Hope this helps you and good luck!

Answer 3

im in the same situation right now. you need to figure out what YOU want not what anyone else wants. Its your life if your not happy leave him. My boyfriend is one of the most selfish people ive met and everythings about him, sometimes it feels like i cant even make my own decisions about my life because everythings about him. i just remind myseld that today is not forever and im still young. Dont feel like you need to hurry up and make a decision take your time and figure out where you want your life to go and if it includes him then it does if it dosent then take the necessary steps to get where you want to be. Leaving is so hard believe me i know. I know i dont really want to be with somone like that forever but leaving is whats holding me back. its scary and it sucks. all the crying and begging really gets to me.

Answer 4

leave, hurry and go!! Been there, done that. Trust me when I say that if we are in a court- related thing, that we are not happy. He is stressing, missing his kids and the best thing for u to do for yerself, is to go. you are doing not one bit of good for u or him.

Answer 5

if you want out just pack up and walk out if he follows walk faster if he is harassing you then call the cops

Answer 6

Time to grow up, huh?

Answer 7

Unless he wants some...... what?

If you wanna leave.... then leave.