Besides outgoing highschool and college students, large numb of people will never have a mate?

Question

I've seen lots of couples that start out in hgschool or in college or in some educational institution including even ESL international students in ESL classes.

And even if they don't get their life partner there, they get some practice . Ok but then there's , i imagine, cause this is the world i live in, people like me who never had anything in highschool or college and even now at age 27 have nothing and nothing to look forward to. in work there's no women also so i never even have chances to meet women.

So as a male, can there be some truth in the fact that if you didn't develop dating skills or social skills in schools or early in life, then it is very very hard to get any relationship ?
Even if i start taking some night classes or join a club or something , i know i would not have anything. i joined stuff before like dance lessons and i never even got into conversations with women, while many others would start talking to women after class or something.

Answer 1

Yes!! I've come to the same conclusion... in fact I figure that 10% of people out there are having 90% of the sex. I made up the numbers of course, but the idea that a minority of people make up the majority of the dating and sex culture that is blitzed at us over the media on a daily basis.

This is how I account for statistics that say the average man has 4-6 partners over his lifetime and a woman has 2-4. Those figures vary because I've heard a couple different sources.

When I heard that I was shocked because I had always thought, movies and television being a large part of my socialization process, that people were having sex all the time with many partners. And some do, I've met them... but it's not the majority.

My friends and I would call what you are talking about, when after a long time it's hard to get into a relationship, loser funk. It's like an odor, a pheremone or something that guys give off. Women can sense he's desperate, and even though he's a nice guy, he will get nowhere. It's not an odor of course, but the almost imperceptible way it plays out it's almost the same.

I'm not sure what the solution is. But I think taking classes and joining clubs is a step in the right direction. Don't take them expressly to meet women, but to boost your self confidence in general by acquiring a new skill and stepping outside your comfort zone. This in turn will help eliminate loser funk. Good luck!

Answer 2

Sounds to me like you lack confidence.

I married my husband when he was 31 and he had never had any serious relationships. And he was and is a total catch. He didn't date in high school or college or in his 20's, really.

The problem was he was never satisfied about where he was in life. He didn't think he had anything to offer a woman, so he didn't bother to date.

It sounds like you are really introverted. I would suggest you try match.com, or something similar to start trying at least. Use it as a test run. Don't go into it expecting to meet Ms. Right. You probably also need some dating pointers since you are not experienced. Is there a female friend around who could help? My hubby made some serious dating errors on the 3rd date, but I figured he was a little clueless, so I let them slide. Obviously everything turned out ok!

As for classes, you have to do something where YOU are comfortable, otherwise you will not talk or have a good time. Do they have a www.meetin.org in your area? It is for marrieds and singles, and it helps you meet people in your area. I met my hubby in the singles group at church. I didn't expect to meet anybody there.

Anyways, you will have to take the bull by the horns here. Go looking for friends if anything. Don't have any expectations, and let loose.

Answer 3

Actually, yes it is but dont be discouraged it is still possible most times we just have to settle for someone younger whio is stilll in school, seen that the alder ones are already qualifed and either have their significant other already or the just make it to difficult for the underdogs so don't give up just yet, remember younger is better you'll be able to groom and shape that person to ur liking ages 18-23 nothing younger. Hopei was helpful dont giive up.

Answer 4

It may be more difficult but its built in there you know, its like part of your programming. And there are all kinds of books and stuff that help.I think at 27 you are pretty much grown up so its even better because you wont make the mistakes that we all made at 17.

Answer 5

get a few male friends and go to dance clubs. There u get to dance with some girls, smile at them, be nice, dress nice, smell nice...maybe when dancing with one you can ask for name, what she's doing etc...then if she's ok, you could offer to buy her a drink...maybe a conversation will start.

You don't even have to dance if you don't like it...just be there on the side..there are many single women waiting for a guy to smile at them and notice them. Be respectful..Stop being shy.