I just got out of a very commited relationship with someone that broke my heart. It's been 3 months, and I'm still grieving. We were suppose to get married last Saturday, but I broke things off with him because he wasn't supportive during a family trauma. I am finding it hard to trust in another person that asked to be with me. I met him shortly before I broke it off with my ex during the time my family went through trauma, and he was there for us. We have a lot in common, which I find really surprising, but I don't feel any romantic interest for him and he's already said that he's in love with me and sees a future with me. I appreciate he's been there for me and my family so I've already said I am interested. But I think I spoke too soon. I'm scared because I've had my trust shattered. But I also feel like I have a responsibility to be with him, and I know that's not a healthy relationship. How do I break things off with him? I don't want to tell him I've had suicidal thoughs.
2007-09-18 02:13:09 · 10 answers · asked by Jess 6 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I take it really seriously and view any romantic relationship as a step towards marriage. So when I get involved with someone, I want to be commited. He wants me to move to his hometown, but I don't want to leave my family. He knows I feel this way, but he's set on deciding to stay where he is. This and other reasons about his personality have made me decide I don't want to be with him.
2007-09-18 02:18:39 · update #1
PLEASE do what is right for YOU... it was very thoughtful and kind of this man to come into your lives and help your family, but if you aren't feeling the same thing for him, then let him know.
It's never easy to "break up", or let someone else down. If HE is NOT for you, dont torture yourself by living a lie.... it will only lead to your own misery, and you don't want that.
Life hands us our share of challenges and problems. And we have to do what is best for us in order to get through. Take care of YOU and always do what is in YOUR best interest.
You don't have to go into a long drawn-out speech about breaking up, just let him know he's not the one for you and you dno't want a romantic relationship.
You are NOT RESPONSIBLE for anyone else's happiness -- just yours... (and any children you might have).
I have posted a website below on suicide... it has helped many thousands of people.. lots of links and good information for help.
I wil be thinking of you. take care ok?
2007-09-18 02:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need time to heal my dear. You don't get over a long-lasting relationship in a short time. Right now you need to get back in touch with yourself, find out who you are, what you need in a relationship. This man you mentioned, if he really loves you, and wants what is best for you will give you time, he will NOT pressure you into a relationship. You must be honest with him. Right now you are confused in your emotions. Also, perhaps a mental health counselor would be a great help for you. I sincerely hope that things work out for you, and I pray that your family as well as you find peace.
Agape,
Rhonda
2007-09-18 02:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by Rhonda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do would be to be honest. That is really the only thing you can do or things will get worse. As for your suicidal thoughts i think that you may want to consider going to the doctor for depression or talking to a therapist. To be honest with you it is better to be honest to yourself as well as others. Problems are not something to hide because if you do you will make things worse for yourself and others around you. Give yourself time to heal and have faith in yourself. Good luck
2007-09-18 02:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It relies upon how extreme the region is, yet you will in no way be sent to a psyche ward for 2 motives. one million. you're a minor and a scholar who has at the instant began (one million 365 days as you pronounced). 2. you're undertaking isn't as extreme as others and you do no longer pose a threat to society (so a good distance as i comprehend, lol). For the soreness killers, the two you're speaking to a physician or dealing with a rehab application at the same time as nonetheless staying in college. ultimate of success ;)
2016-10-04 22:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by richberg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were not in your right frame of mind to have entered into a relationship with all the drama and disfunction going on in your life. Heres the deal, when you are living a life of insanity and things are not going good, it is a major mistake to get involved with anyone, all you do is bring all your disfunction into your relationship and it just makes for a instable relationship, so now we have not one person who is screwed up we have two, cause you just brought all your bagage into this guys life and made him a mess. But my guess is that most people who live a messed up life are attracted to other people who are living a life of unstableness, so chances are he was messed up when you found him, only now he is worse. So nice job! This is why you must stay away from any relationship till you are mentally mature and on your own two feet, you cant give yourself if you are not their! Do you get me? And dont tell him you are thinking about commiting suicide! Cause you know deep inside you are not! This is your sick disfunctional mind trying once again to get his attention, so stop! leave this guy alone! you dont want him as a woman wants a man, you want him as someone to use to dump your problems on and to play ugly games with. I know what your up to, cause Ive been their. Answer me this, what good will it do to tell him that you are thinking about suicide? And why would you? If your thinking about it and I mean really thinking about it, you tell a person who is trained in the mental health field, like a doctor, you dont tell your boyfriend unless your seeking attention, and we know that you are, so stop the insanity! Go get yourself some help, today, and let this poor guy go on with his life! Now go on and go find out who you are and what you want from life, and stay out of relationships till you are 100% together! Good Luck
2007-09-18 02:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honesty is the best policy. Tell him how you feel, and make it clear to him that you have trust issues because of your bad break-up. It'll take you a while to get over the heartache and the problems with trust, but if he really loves you he'll be patient with you and he'll try to help you.
2007-09-18 02:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thank him for being a friend when you were in need and let him know that you still want him as a friend, not a life mate. You do not owe it to spend the rest of your life with the wrong person because they were there for support.
2007-09-18 02:23:10 · answer #7 · answered by At peace with myself 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you love him for all that he has done for you and your family and that you cherish his friendhip. But at the present time you aren't ready for a relationship with anyone.
Tell him that you need time to get over all that you have been through. Tell him that you don't know what the future holds for you but at the present time you need to have time to find yourself and figure out what is best for you.
2007-09-18 02:28:31 · answer #8 · answered by suzie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't let men ruin you. You have your own mind and they don't need to control it. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, don't kill yourself over a guy who doesn't value you.
2007-09-18 02:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are having suicidal thoughts, you need to talk to a professional counselor or doctor, not your boyfriend. Seriously.
2007-09-18 02:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by Fancy That 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋