My son has always been brilliant going to bed at night until we went on holiday this year. He climbed out of his travel cot but wouldnt go back in - he wanted to sleep with his sisters. Since we have been back home its been a nightmare - he wouldnt go in his cot so we got him a bed but wouldnt sleep in it. We put a stairgate in his room (he shares with his three sisters) but he climbed over it. We kept putting him back in bed but he cried so much he woke his sisters up so we ended up putting him in bed with us. Now he wont go to bed unless one of us is with him and half the time he falls asleep on the sofa. We put him in his bed but he wakes in the night and climbs in with us. I am now at my wits end - i have tried bedtime routines, bath, story, bed, etc and nothing is working. I have four other children so i know some of you out there will say "you should know what you're doing" but i have never come across this before, the girls have been so good. Any advice would be most welcome.
2007-09-18 02:00:09 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Ah i remember the days when my son was like this and i feel sorry for you as it's such hard work, you have to be strict and explain to your girls that for a few nights their brother may keep them awake but they should ignore him, if your girls are a bit older start putting your son to bed an hour before them when he gets out of bed lift him straight back to bed without saying anything to him and shut the door, continue this until he tires out, after a few nights the tantrums will get less ans less, it is very hard to do and you feel so bad but well worth the end results, my boys are 5 and 7 it was my oldest i had trouble with he also climbed the stair gate and slept in my bed until i couldn't take anymore, now they both go to bed with no hassle at 7.30pm and are asleep for 8pm, it's great. My oldest is still a bad sleeper and will try to get up for any reason but i still just put him straight to bed and he now knows the boundaries i wish you all the best and hope this helps a little.
2007-09-20 00:21:36 · answer #1 · answered by sandie s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him a bed. He is more than old enough for a bed now and he doesn't want to be caged in by cots or stairgates.
Take some time to explain to him that you are going to get a big boy bed just like his sisters so he can sleep like them. Look at his bedtime as well, he might need to start going a little later than he has been doing. Make it all very exciting.
Re the difference between boys and girls I can only say you are lucky to have got this far before you found how different they are! Boys are far more tempramental. Good luck.
2007-09-19 00:41:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the change of routine and familiar surroundings on holiday clearly created this problem, and you need to be very firm about who's the boss to sort this one out. At the moment you are letting him 'win' which is making the problem spin out of control. You don't say how old his sisters are (are they all older?) but they will need to tolerate a degree of disturbance while you sort this problem out. When you put him to bed, be clear that it is bedtime. If he comes out of his room, put him back to bed. You might have to do this many many times - never do it in a punitive way, but kindly stating that it is bedtime - time for sleep. If he wakes in the night, do the same thing. If he keeps crying, pop in to him every few minutes (each time waiting a bit longer) reassuring him that everything is Ok, but that it is time to sleep. Do not let him in your bed or you will never solve this problem (and you clearly are not wanting to keep going as you are or you wouldn't ask the question). It might take time, but eventually he should settle back into a routine of going to bed without his sisters. Be firm but reassuring in tone. Good luck.
2007-09-18 02:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by imamonkeyoohaooha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we had a similar problem with our now 3 1/2 yr old. The problem is you really have to be firm with him. Our son was in a full size single bed at aged 17 months. We still have a problem in the fact that he wont go to sleep unless one of us is in his room on his bed reading to him or singing nursery rhymes. He's got better in the fact he falls asleep within half an hour now, but he does come into us at about 4am for the last two hrs. I know that you know how important routines are but i think your son is playing you to see what he can get away with. Strong and firm is the way to go.....and we're still in the middle of doing that with our son (my first child). We got this to look forward to with our daughter next when she's old enough!! groan groan. Any way good luck!
2007-09-18 02:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by heleneaustin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set him in his bed 1-2 hours before his sisters. That gives time for this to work. Every night, give him a bath, and have him ready around 6, or so.. put him in his bed, say goodnight, and whatever else you want...be quiet, so that he'll start to get tired.
Once he's lying down (or sitting) he's probably going to scream, I assume? Ignore it. I know it seems harsh, but just ignore him for a few minutes. If he hops / climbs out of bed, just take him and put him back in. Ignore the wining. Don't comfort him, other than a hug. Don't be like "aw, its ok...get to bed!"
Be strong. The kid might scream, cry and hit... but just sit in the room.. ignore him. Everytime he gets out of bed put him back in. If the girls have to go to bed and he's still not asleep, put him in his bed, but a baby door at their room, and tell the girls don't let him sleep with you!
Hope this helps.
2007-09-18 09:00:02 · answer #5 · answered by Keys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely since he wasnt in his own bed in his own home, his bed time went on holiday as well. He is in a stage where he is going to start challenging you to the fullest and his mentality is going to change a lot but you should already know this. My ex has a two yr old, and every night, he puts on a show called the Night Night show, this kid is SUPER hyper and this is the only thing that works. When you put him to sleep, pretend like everyone is going to sleep, give him a lavender bath, warm milk, and soothe him for a few weeks till he gets used to it.
2007-09-18 02:15:30 · answer #6 · answered by krispiemeow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's decided what he wants, and I doubt you will be able to change his mind all at once. The first order of business is getting you more sleep.
Put a mattress on the floor in your room, tell him he can come into your room if he needs to but he has to sleep on his "special bed" and he can't wake mommy and daddy or else they will be grumpy all day. That will hopefully get you some sleep.
Now it may be that sleeping on a mattress in your room isn't nice enough for him to continue getting up and going to you, but then again probably not.
I think the only thing you can really do is try to reason with him (hahaha reason). Try to explain that he needs to go to sleep "like a big boy", etc.
2007-09-18 02:11:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put him to bed first, so he can cry and carry on and not wake up his siblings. Eventually you can switch back to putting them all to bed at the same time.
The only way to get him over it is to just keep putting him back in his bed until he stays there. It wont take too long, and the more consistent you are about it the quicker it will be over.
You can go in and pat his back or hum him a tune, but dont put him to sleep, just help him calm down and then leave him. Put him back when he comes out.
Every kid goes through this atleast once, although most do it a few times, especially after a holiday when they have a chance to experience a different arrangment.
2007-09-18 02:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
The change of routine may have upset the apple cart a little - stay strong and don't give in to him - just keep putting him back to bed without arguments - the family may have to sacrifice a couple of nights sleep unfortunately.
2007-09-18 02:09:16 · answer #9 · answered by scatty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he keeps having bad dreams or something and hes a bit scared. try this website WWW.SUPERNANNY.co.uk
and either click on BEDTIME ROUTINE or type the words Bedtime Routine in the search box. Hope this will help.
My other advice is sugary stuff or sweets given to your child in the evenings dont help at all, it just keeps them hyperactive and they also wont sleep lol and i also know that even though its hard not to, loosing your rag with him defo wont help you and your son. p.s. you may have to sign up to Supernanny, dont worry though cuz its free. The website and advise is helpful and brill. Good luck
2007-09-18 02:39:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋