My boyfriend and I have been together for seven months....we recently moved in together. Our relationship is great - we have a great time together and we're compatible in and out of bed. We're both 35 --- I have a career and he's back in college finishing his degree and working fulltime. Our sex life has always been good and adventurous. I would probably say that I initiate sex more often but it's always good for us.
During the past several weeks, however, he doesn't seem very interested. "Too tired, or too stressed about school, etc." I'm starting to feel unwanted, unconnected, unattractive...and i've mentioned this to him. He just tells me he's very stressed with his classes and tests and to bear with him because one day I will thank him when he's making a good salary. What should I do?
2007-09-18 01:56:38 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're right there where he can get it every day!!
He knows he can!
You have to make him WANT it!!!
I make my hubby WANT it...I call him at work and tell him what I want to do to him!! I try new thinks in bed...spice things up...keep him guessing!
It works!
6 kids and we're still a hot item
2007-09-18 03:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am by no means a sex therapist or even good at counselling in this area.
You say you have been together for seven months.
Is that a long time to get to know him?
Obviously something is bothering him but I guess you must be just patient and wait for him to share his heart with you. Of course you would be feeling hurt and rejected but please don't leave the relationship or fall for someone else because of this.
If you feel as though this relationship is worth saving, then you must try and be patient with him and encourage him.
It's really hard to say what could be bothering him.
Stress from work and study can affect a man's libido - esp. tiredness - perhaps this is alll it is.
I wish you well, I'm not sure what advice to give you - only try and be a friend to him and allow him to open up to you and share his heart and feelings.
best of luck!
2007-09-18 02:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a toughie!!!
He has explained his lack of interest, at least from his point of view. i've been there, and stress and being tired definately lower the sex drive.
You've told him your point of view, that you feel unwanted, unattractive etc. That you have needs.
Here's the thing. He may be 100% honest, that it is stress. believe me, if you force it, and start having sex when one partner isn't into it, it will bring resentment and problems.
You gotta decide.....you either love him, and want this to work, or don't!
2007-09-18 02:14:12 · answer #3 · answered by someguy_in_halifax 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cherry, I'm going to be upfront with you: YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN!!!
Let me tell you something about men: we don't openly express being stressed out about anything. We may be stressed out, we have frayed nerves, but for us to openly admit it is going against man law. The only time we start saying stuff like "we're stressed out" or "I'm too tired" is when we're being deceptive. Think about it, men pride themselves on their ability to handle stress, working well under pressure, and never being too tired to have sex. So babydoll, right now he's selling you a bill of goods. Not only does he have another woman, I'm willing to bet that his other woman is attending class with him. So start saving up money and planning on moving out because what I said will come to light.
Chi-Town Flawless
author
The Nice Guy's Manual on How to Stop Simpin And Attract The Woman That You Really Want
http://www.stopsimpinmovement.com
2007-09-18 02:12:26 · answer #4 · answered by Glenn Johnson 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds genuine. School, work and family are incredibly difficult. I know when i get home from work and school i am too tired lie there and pretned i'm turned on. It makes sex a negative thing. Just cuddle with him and talk. You spend so much time apart, sometimes just connecting on a mental level is enough to spark something physical. If not. get a vibrator and wait it out.
2007-09-18 02:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
When you move in together, it becomes less and less.
Because he can have it anytime he wants.
What I found, you know, the more you want it the more it drives them away.
Give him some space.
Then try to come back with a nice back rub or something.
Me and my bf had the same problem and I think I may just invest in a toy. It can be frustrating and pressuring him more can frustrate him and drive him further away.
2007-09-18 02:05:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should buy a real sexy dress and make your self look even more beautiful then hint him singals like at night when he comes home turn off the lights and leave notes leading him to the bed room trust me if this dont work you need to talk to him.
2007-09-18 02:02:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I go threw this with my husband .. I just leave him be until he gets horny and he comes to me ... He probably is just very stressed out and tired and needs a bit of space .. Don't worry he'll come around.
2007-09-18 02:07:06 · answer #8 · answered by Rhyannonn C 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
stress does alot of bad things to a guy.. esp. school.. I know when I am under pressure from school.. I didn't want to have sex either... it just kills it.. you can't have your mind on sex when your mind is being beaten down with stress... it's genuine, he just can't do it... but there is one thing that my ex did to kinda break that a little.... just e-mail me for it... I don't want to post it and get reported thanks to the bible beater at the top of the page....
2007-09-18 02:09:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex isn't everything, and he explained to you that he is tired and stressed about classes--which is understandable. If you trust him, you'll believe what he says.
2007-09-18 02:16:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋