I am pregnant and after my last miscarriage hubby and I decided we both wanted for me to stay home for this pregnancy. We get by just fine, we even have a little extra money at the end of the month that goes into savings. My husband has a coworker that came right out and said, "you know your wife has to go back to work now that you are trying to have kids right?" My husband was quite taken aback as this man is about thirty years older than he is and he works with him every day, so he just nodded and smiled. I, on the other hand, get flack from one of my aunts (who I was never close to) about staying home, while my parents and my husbands' parents are very supportive of whatever we do. I have worked since I was sixteen years old, I never thought that if I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my children I would feel so... attacked. I think it's truly sad, but my question remains- what makes other people bothered by our choices for our family, by my staying home?
2007-09-18 01:48:48 · 9 answers · asked by hmm 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I always think maybe they're jealous? We're both successful, young and fairly attractive, I suppose, but in the back of my mind I can't help but feeling like I'm doubting myself right along with them! I guess it's time to finally grow up and stop worrying about what other people think, it's always been tough for me. Thanks for all the great answers and best wishes!
2007-09-18 02:01:19 · update #1
Also I guess the "who's a better mommy" issue is pretty hot at the moment too. Ugh. I might just move to a remote island lol.
2007-09-18 02:08:04 · update #2
Interesting people are saying it's because they have no life- I never hear any negative comments but from people who are empty nesters. Maybe they ARE bored. (Not to say all empty nesters are hateful! My parents and hubby's parents are empty nesters and very supportive.) I wish I could just be one of those people for an hour and find out what is behind their behavior.
2007-09-18 02:11:55 · update #3
Some people can't mind their own business, for one thing... for another, some seem to have no control over anything, even their own lives, so they try to tell others how to live and what to do.
I have read that "control freaks" who are constantly trying to tell other people how to run their lives, tend to have anxiety issues, and telling others what to do relieves some of the tension. Of course, these people don't realize it.
It's YOUR life and your family... do what is right for you, and what you and your husband agree upon. You can let others know they are intruding -- because they are.. It's not their concern whether you stay home, or even fly to the moon!
take care and i wish you all the best.
2007-09-18 01:57:10 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a situation in which many people have oppossing views on. No matter what a woman (who is a mother) does, it will not satisfy 100% of the world's population so why try or even bother caring what others think or say!
This is a decision that only you and your husband are entitled to make. Clearly, the two of you have thought it through and have come to a mutual decision. Go with what works for you and your husband.
If you have to, write yourself a list of why you have made this decision and read it whenever others have made you doubt yourself...or at least keep a mental list. Also, when others become critical of your decisions politely tell them that we all have difference of opinions and considering you respect others life decisions you only ask the same. Just brush it off. I know that seems frustrating but as a stay at home mom I have to do this all the time and it's much easier than having to be confrontational or constantly defending my position.
As far as why people always see the need to put their nose in others business or try to control others lives, that probably has more to do with the fact that they are controlling. Many times people who feel a lack of control in their own life will try to intimidate others into controlling them...this kind of fills that void for them.
2007-09-18 09:46:39 · answer #2 · answered by Lwood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the kindest thing you can do for yourself and your husband - is make your own choices - don't worry what people say. what's right for one person is not necessarily right for all. let them talk, just smile, and do what YOU have to do to make your life bright and happy. there is absolutely nothing wrong staying home, it's a job within itself to take care of family and home. it doesn't get the credit it should. so don't let flack from others ever make your feel inferior in your choices. don't waste your energy on questioninng yourself - you are doing what's right for YOU.
2007-09-18 09:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There could be jealousy involved from the people who are being negative towards you. Maybe they wanted to be able to stay home themselves to raise their children, but financially were unable to.
I have dealt with this myself, I stay home with my 3 children. When I left the workforce to stay home, I received a great amount of backlash from coworkers who weren't able to quit.
You know what's best for you and your family, ignore the people who don't support your decisions. Your children will be better off for it.
2007-09-18 08:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by J Mack 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people feel like they have to have input into everything that anyone does. It is no one's business except for you and your husband if you stay home or work. Be polite but firm if they comment just say "that is our personal decision and no one really needs to concern themselves with what we decide to do with our lives". Might sound rude to some but it will work. People just need to learn to mind their own business.
2007-09-18 09:18:22 · answer #5 · answered by Love being a Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the person has nothing better to do but butt into your life .. Just ignore it. As long as you're happy staying home and raising a family who cares?
I'd be thrilled to have that option but I'll have to work when I have children ...
2007-09-18 08:59:27 · answer #6 · answered by Rhyannonn C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
youhave chose to stay home then its yur choices and do just that. kids do do better with that and they need parents at that time in life. if you feel better and you put money into savings hey who cares what people think its non of their busienss waht you do.
2007-09-21 20:59:56 · answer #7 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine why people feel compelled to always put in their 2 cents.. You do what you feel most comfortable with, and screw what everyone else thinks... Remember who's life it is? YOURS!
2007-09-18 08:54:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They have no real life of their own and therefore think they need to run someone else's life. Set them straight about trying to run yours.
2007-09-18 09:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋