Christians: if your son or daughter died of cancer and God told you it was "part of the plan"?

Question

how would you feel?

Answer 1

I am agnostic, I used to be a christian, I would like to share my story.
My mother died after 25 years of excruciating pain due to a very rare form of rheumatoid arthritis that turned her into a vegetable. She could not walk or sleep from the pain, the strongest medicines would not work,she had to go from one hospital to another, finally after 25 years of agony she died from an infection.
I asked the religious people why all that suffering, what good could come out of that? I got as an answer exactly what you said"it was God's plan", I wanted to punch in the face that Christan that told me that.
I left that religion and the hypocrisy, I have to wonder, why would a loving God allow someone to suffer the way she did?
What am I more compassionate than God?

Answer 2

I would get her some counseling and maybe some group therapy with teens her age that lost a parent. At her age it is very important to "fit in" and she probably feels alone and confused. As with the God thing, don't push her. I remember whenever I heard the "It was her/his time to go" thing I would get even more mad because I couldn't understand it as I do now. I have felt the same thing many times. Within a year of my husband and I meeting we lost 3 family members, and 2 others had serious accidents. One of the ones we lost was my mother in law and it was in a tragic accident. I blamed God and refused to believe God would do this so "obviously" there is no God. However, I eventually saw the light again. God works in mysterious ways and she will eventually come around when she is ready. She is lucky her mom had such a good friend as you who will be there to help. That is very nice of you to take her in and help her family out. Good luck, take care, and God bless.

Answer 3

I already know that death is part of the plan. It isn't my place to criticize God about the time He chooses for any human being to be born or to die. On a worldly level I would feel the same as any other parent, heartbroken. On a Christian level, I would accept God's will, continue to love and serve Him, and thank Him both for the gift of my son or daughter, and their eternal salvation.

Answer 4

Funny you should ask.

My first child did, in fact, die of cancer. She was 6.
I had a few people, some friend some just acquaintances, but all Xtian, tell me exactly that- that it was part of "Gd's plan". (I, by the way, am Jewish and my Gd does not resemble the xtian Gd.)
After being told this several times, I heard it from a friend and basically I just stopped talking to her for many months. She knew why.
Oddly enough, HER son then developed leukemia too. He died.
I asked her if, now that it was "Gd's plan" for HER son to die, she still felt it was, in fact, part of 'the plan."
And of course, she had nothing to say except
"I'm sorry, I had no idea how ignorant I was."


This was not Gd's plan.
This was very, very bad luck.
I'm sure the easy route would be to say "oh she's in heaven playing the harp on clouds". I prefer to know that her LIFE mattered far more than her death, and that in the lifetime she was given, she was loved unconditionally, adored, had and gave happiness, and made a difference in other lives. This is what soothes me. That her LIFE mattered and we all did the best we could with what we were given. Again, the xtian, though, focuses on death.

Answer 5

Devastated. But I also know that I would be reunited with them in time. If God did tell me it was part of the plan, that conversation would be in Heaven, and they would be there, as well as me. Fact- everyone will die once on earth whether by "natural causes" or by means that are hard to understand. But when sin came into the world, everyone was born into it. Now alot of people say that is unfair, however "the plan" is to get everyone back to God, to live in His presence. Eternal life is the offer from God through faith in Jesus Christ. A short time on earth of troubles vs. an eternity without pain, suffering, and injustice. God's plan is not limited by the human imagination, it goes beyond what mortal man can comprehend. His offer is still on the table.

Answer 6

I would say " I know" because I would already know that her/his death was the part of the plan.We all die one way or another, however, we have this tremendous hope because we know that our children are going to be in the presence of God when they die. There is no pain and no suffering. God does not plan our children to get sick, He allows it. Why some people get healed and some do not, I do not know the answer for that.

I saw this here once and I am going to use it because it fits: If you have suffered here on earth for the cause of the God's plan, He has the whole eterity to make it up to us.

Answer 7

I would be

Denial (this isn't happening to me, you can't take my child!)

Anger (why is this happening to me? I have been a good Christian a follower and missionary of your word)

Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if, I will give my heart and soul fully to you..)

Depression (I don't care anymore)

Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

These are not Christian phases of grief these phases of grief that all human beings go through when they are suffering an impending loss or loss of a child or loved one.

The difference between a Christian and a non believer I believe lies in those phases. We couldn't be human if we did not question why the Lord God would take our Child not bargain for their life or offer our own in our childs place. I would cry and scream, beg and plead and than I would fall, to my knees in prayer, knowing that this is horrible, but it is part of Gods plan, he would be using the death of my child for a greater purpose that I won't understand. However, I would be given a lot of opportunity to bring people to Christ through our suffering and loss. The guys on the football team that come to pay vigil at his bedside, not understanding why this is happening? How many of those could be brought to Christ during this horrible time. How many people would my child want to be saved through his suffering? My boys thank God are Christians and will be in Heaven hopefully after me, however one day we will all be together and with this thought I would have peace.

Answer 8

Your question reveals your shallowness. What do you know of mine, or anyone elses, experiences with loss? What do you know of the pain we've experienced? What do you know of the trials of a Christian? You sit there supposing that christians just quote bible verses without ever "test driving" our faith in Almighty God?
Cancer has taken many a child from christian parents. I know, because I've sat and listened to the prayers of a mother and father lifting up their 13 year old daughter who was having the life sucked out of her by an inoperable tumor. Their pain and anguish were heart-wrenching. And yet they continued to look to God for direction. Their daughter is in heaven today, and the grace of God moves in their lives to give healing and peace. And by that same grace, they will see their daughter again in a glorious reunion!
God's love is deeper and more abundant than anyone can imagine. I know. I've been there.

Answer 9

Death is a part of the package, so like it or not, we all will die one day, one way or another, the thing is the way we die, we as parent don't want to see our children die before us, but sometimes it happens, if they are saved, they are with God, I would mourn their loss, but they are free now and not here with all this sorrow and pain and they are, as I said free and with God now, but I am that way because I had been suicidal for years and would love nothing more then to just be with God and be away from this world, death does not effect me that way liek it does other people.I have lost all my grandparents and my mom, and my favoirte uncle. I have been a CNA in a nursing home and have had two patients die in front of me, one in my arms, so death is nothing new to me. As long as they are saved. they are with Jesus now and they are happy.

Answer 10

I lost my 1st wife of 21 yrs of marriage, she was 37, & I never did blame God for it, But I do know God is the one that gives life & he is the one that withdraws that breath of life. I am now remarried to a Christian woman.